


Auction

by the_captain_of_the_ship



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: 69, Almost Sex, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Ben Solo is not hot enough for this ish, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Drama, Drama & Romance, Dry Humping, F/M, Magnum condoms, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Sex, Shopping, Slow Burn, Slowest Burn, Smut, Virgin Ben Solo, Virgin Rey, Virgins no more, ben solo is a drama queen, pull up a chair if you're waiting for sex it's going to be a while, spoiling your girlfriend, tequila shots, very slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-03-19 14:27:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 49
Words: 76,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13706352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_captain_of_the_ship/pseuds/the_captain_of_the_ship
Summary: Rey Jakku is a mechanical engineering student at MIT.  She's struggling financially, buried under debt from student loans.  So, she decides to auction her virginity.Ben Solo is the tech genius behind the super successful ride sharing app 'Passenger'.  Online he's Kylo Ren, a hacktivist for the group of elite hackers who call themselves "First Order".  Her online auction gets his attention, and won't let it go.





	1. Rey

**Author's Note:**

> From the nature of the story, there will be smut. It will be a slow burn. We'll get there eventually.

**Rey - One**

 

_You can call me Daisy.  I’m only doing this to pay for student loans, grad school, and a start up I’ve been planning since I was twelve.  I have documentation from two different doctors stating that my hymen is intact.  I also have a business plan, if you’d like to see that too._

_I’m an orphan, so I have no parents to help me financially.  I’m definitely not looking for love, so no strings attached sex is fine with me.  I have too much going on right now to start a relationship.  I’ve attached pictures so you can see what you’re buying._

_Also, to make sure that I cannot be arrested, the sexual transaction will take place in a location where prostitution is not illegal.  Please be advised you will be expected to pay for transportation and a hotel room.  Dinner is also a bonus._

_The financial transaction will take place with Bitcoin - half up front and half after the transaction is completed.  I look forward to meeting the highest bidder._

 

“So, what do you think?” I ask Finn, as he’s staring at the screen.

He’s silent, and Finn is _never_ silent.  He’s been my best friend since I arrived in the States.  He’s been my partner in crime, my confidant, and my most trusted adviser.  He isn’t afraid to tell me when I’m doing something stupid, which is often.

But this time…

“Have you lost your damn mind?” he practically bellows toward the screen.

“Well…” I start.  I haven’t actually decided the answer to the question myself.  I’ve tried to raise capital other ways.  Then I begin to explain it all again, even though he already knows all of it, he’s been by my side for years.  “I have a clear business plan, a structured business model, and I have approached every dotcom billionaire investment group.  We even tried to get on that Shark World program!”

“Shark Tank,” he corrects me.

“I don’t care!  It didn’t help!  Nothing has worked, Finn!  I’m the top student at MIT, I’ve won awards!  And I still can’t get anyone to invest in my engine!”  I throw my hands up in the air, and turn away from him.  That’s when I see it sitting on my workbench, the culmination of years of research, my steam engine model.  “Steam engines are the future of transportation,” I begin to explain.

“The future of transportation, not just personal but also public,” Finn finishes my statement.

I stare at him for several minutes, and his intense dark eyes are staring right back into mine.  Then suddenly we both laugh, and it breaks the tension. 

When he’s finished, he’s serious again.  “Rey, you don’t have to do this.  Your opportunity is right around the corner.  It’s there, and you’ll get it.  No one is more driven than you.  You’ll get your chance, and you’ll change the world.  I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

I smile at him.  The confidence he’s always had in me takes my breath away.  He’s known me since I was seventeen, when I beat him in a street race after I’d only been in the US for three days.  Sure, I used to race in the UK, but it was with friends on old dirt roads and closed race tracks.  I wanted to join the local scene, and the only way him and his crew would let me be part of the Storm Troopers was to put up the pink slip of the car I paid way too much to ship to the US. 

I won, but his crew started shit about my British car, the engine I’d reconstructed myself, the intake and the exhaust system I built from scratch.  That’s when one of them suggested they take my car, because I was a girl and couldn’t defend myself. 

Finn came to my rescue, creating a diversion so I could escape.  He looked me up, and after three days he finally found me.  He was surprised to find me in student housing at MIT, and I was surprised that he showed up.  But we’ve been inseparable for four years.  Finn’s an orphan, like me.  We have a lot of things in common, and most of them are emotions we’re working through to make ourselves healthier, better people.  Finn’s much better with the friend stuff than I am.

He’s now a driver for a ride share program, and prides himself on getting his passengers to their destinations quickly and efficiently.  He also helps me work on cars sometimes, which is how I make money on the side.  Some of the other students have money, and want to play Tokyo Drift in real life.  I help them soup up their cars, but I don’t tell them I keep it in moderation.  The last thing I want is someone getting killed because they lost control because they couldn’t handle the upgrades I’ve added.  Also, there are the students who don’t know how to change their oil or rotate their tires.  They trust me to keep their cars in running order.

Which brings me to Paige Tico.  She doesn’t know a spark plug from an air filter, and her car is, to put it politely, a challenge.  Her sister Rose is a fellow student, in the IT Department.  Rose and Finn met while he was changing Paige’s tire, and the rest as they say is history.  Paige is a hairdressing and cosmetology student, and helped me with my hair and makeup.  Rose took the pictures and put the website online.  And that brings my story full circle.

“Have you shown this to Poe?” he asks as he points to the screen.

“Poe and I are not dating,” I remind him for the millionth time.  Poe Dameron is a driver for the Resistance, a rival crew of the Storm Troopers.  Or, he was.  He’s now the backup driver for a NASCAR team, testing the cars and waiting for his chance to drive on the pro circuit.  “It’s been two weeks since I’ve seen him.”

“He texted me last night, telling me he’ll be back for two days next week,” he informs me.  “I thought he’d let you know.” 

Poe and Finn are much better friends than Poe and I are.  Poe is handsome, like wildly attractive in a way that men usually aren’t.  Not to me, anyway. 

“I can’t be distracted right now, Finn.  I know you’re trying to set us up to be more than friends, but I’m just not ready.”  I lay my hand gently on his shoulder, and he covers it with one of his bigger, darker hands.

“But you’re ready to do it for money,” he counters.  I knew he’d have a hard time understanding.  I knew he would argue, and tell me not to give up hope.  That’s just how Finn is.

So, with the click of the mouse I change the screen, and show him a report I’d already ran on my finances.  The number at the bottom is huge, and every time I look at it my soul dies a little bit.

“What’s that?” he asks, as he begins to look it over.

“That’s my student loan debt,” I explain, and point at the number that has now crept past the six digit area, and is very close to having a two for the first digit.

“But that’s...  You get scholarships!  You work!”  He sputters, his eyes wide with shock. 

“I’m a foreign student, Finn.  With housing, and meal plans, and books, and lab fees, it all adds up.  Plus, this is MIT.  You don’t want to know how much tuition is full price.  Trust me, I’m thankful for every department scholarship I get, and every award that goes toward my tuition.  But it’s just not enough.”  He looks at me, and I can see the understanding dawn in his eyes.  “I’ve tried really hard not to burden you with my problems, Finn.  I need to do this.”

We’ve all moved in together, to a tiny two bedroom apartment, which has cut down considerably on my expenses.  Rose and Finn share a room, and Paige and I share a room.  Paige likes to bring home _guests_ , and that’s her prerogative, but… Most nights, I sleep on the couch.  There’s literally zero privacy.  It almost makes me miss the dorms.

He stands up immediately, and takes me in his warm embrace.  If there’s ever been a man I’ve felt comfortable with, it’s Finn.  After the group home I grew up in, I shudder to think of the headmaster Unkhar Plutt, I haven’t had a lot of positive male role models.  I’m glad my reckless behavior led me to Finn.  If I hadn’t found him, I have no idea what I’d be doing right now.  Yes, I do, and I don’t want to think about it. 

“We could go back to…” he starts, but doesn’t finish his suggestion.

“We can’t go back to that,” I state, firmly.  “We’re lucky we got out alive.”

He nods, and looks away.  “Do what you have to do, Rey.  You know I’ll always support you.”

I smile, letting the bad thoughts stay in the past where they belong.  “I know, and that’s why you’ll always be my best mate.”

“And you’ll always be my best friend,” he says confidently.  He sits back down at my desk, clicks back to the webpage announcing the auction, and pulls up the pictures.  “You don’t look too bad, when you clean the grease off your face.”

“Finn!” I exclaim, and slap at his shoulder.  Maybe everything will be okay.  It simply has to be.

 

 


	2. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No smut yet, but we'll get there eventually. We have to see how these two get on each other's radar (pun intended) and finally meet. (spoilers it might be the next chapter)

**Ben - Two**

 

 _Kylo, I’ve found several new operators._   I stare at the message from Phasma on my phone.  I don’t like getting First Order messages at work, and I’m not even sure why it makes me feel so uncomfortable.  I’ve encrypted the phone myself, and I’m sure it’s unhackable.  Also, I’m sitting in an office building that my company owns, the company I built from the computer platform and app I created.  I have no one to answer to.  No one can get upset at me for doing non-business related activities on the clock. 

Passenger is the largest ride-sharing company on the planet.  I made millions on the stock market before I even started the business, while I was still in college.  I bet on tech companies, and I’ve made a lot of money on them.  I also own a sizable percentage of Passenger stock, which makes me richer every day. 

So why am I constantly worried about getting caught hacking?  I am an elite white hat hacker, with the best of intentions.  I work with a team of elite hacktivists.  I am sure no jury would convict me.  

Still, although I feel what we do is morally right, it is still considered illegal.  What the people I hack are doing is illegal, but two wrongs do not make a right, to the courts anyway. 

The internet has meant so much to humanity.  We can participate in distance learning.  We can organize against brutal dictatorships.  We can learn from other cultures.  We can communicate with people from all around the world in real time.  The possibilities for the medical field alone are unlimited. 

And yet, we are still human beings.  Some use the internet for the most deplorable, unimaginable things.  They should remain unnamed.  I have to see them, but that doesn’t mean I have to think about them.

The First Order has come together to bring justice to the internet.  We have helped police discover human trafficking, and worse.  There are four of us in the group: myself, Phasma, Hux, and Snoke.  I have never met any of them in real life.  I wouldn’t know who they were if they stood beside me in line for overpriced coffee.  But we find the worst of the worst, and we make their lives hell.  I’m proud of the work I do, but I would not want to get caught doing it.

I check the watch my mother paid far too much money for, and decide I can leave for the day.  I gather up my portable electronic devices into my vintage leather messenger bag, tell my assistant I will be gone for the rest of the day, and walk down the four flights of stairs in my converted warehouse.  I picked the building for its proximity to the Merrimack and Arms Park.  The scenery is quite lovely.  I chose an elegant house in the city with a lovely view of the river, which is approximately four blocks from Passenger’s HQ. 

But that’s not where I’m going.  I wait for the bus, and take it eight blocks north.  I have a workspace over a coffee shop, which I also own.  I have a fiber connection to the coffee shop.  I’ve proportioned part of the connection to be invisible to the coffee shop downstairs, while making it appear that any traffic I send over the internet upstairs comes from some random patron.  I’ve locked down the router, so no one can see what devices are attached to the wifi.  I really don’t want to get caught.

I walk into the shop, order a coffee, pick it up, tip the barista, then walk toward the bathroom.  Yes, I had a secret passageway built leading to my workspace.  I might be paranoid, but I really, really don’t want to go to jail.

Once I’m upstairs, I log in to the First Order’s encrypted website, and scroll through the list of new offenders.  I click on each link, and shudder at the levels of depravity humans can stoop to.  A dark website offers underage girls in the New York City area.  Another lowlife is sharing illegal photos, for a fee of course.  That one will definitely get shut down, and the bank accounts cleaned out.  I always send an untraceable cashier’s check to a domestic violence shelter when I rob a reprobate. 

And then, I click on the link named daisyauction.com.  After the last two websites, I’m expecting the worst.  What I find is a bright, happy presentation with well placed graphics, announcing the auction of a twenty one year old woman’s virginity.

The First Order has shut these auctions down before with denial of service attacks, but never one this well done.  And the girl, code named Daisy, is breathtakingly gorgeous.  Her chestnut colored hair hangs in loose waves around her beautiful face and feminine shoulders.  Her hazel eyes sparkle with mischief.  Her smile is so bright it would make the sun jealous, and the dimples in her cheeks are enchanting.

I’m embarrassed to admit my body is reacting to the images.  I’m finding it extremely hard to breathe, my palms are sweating, and ---

That rarely happens.  Not just as a reaction to a photo on the internet.  I’ve told myself I’m just not like other men, and that’s okay.  I’ve done research, and I’ve categorized myself as asexual, and slightly autistic.  Computers I can deal with, humans not so much.  They’re confusing, and noisy, and have so much potential to hurt - with words as well as with actions.  I had a front row seat for most of my life to witness exactly how badly words can hurt.  I’ve been on the receiving end enough, too.  I’ve heard it all: skinny, ugly, Dumbo, nose like a pickle, face like a Picasso painting.  Okay, maybe that last part was me.  I’ve known from a very young age that no girl would ever find me attractive, and I’ve accepted that.

But this young woman…  This impish fairy queen goddess come to life… This sparkling creature…  Would never look twice at me.  Never.

And yet, she’s making me feel things I never thought I’d feel.  I _want_ her.  And it hurts just as much as I knew it would.  I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest.  I feel…

Oh, my God.  I feel.  _I feel!_   I laugh out loud at the thought. 

I should bid on…

What am I thinking?  She would never want me in return.

But, if I win, she would have to…

No!  This is not who I am.  I fight against this.  I do not participate in purchasing humans, not even adults over the age of consent, who have sad back stories. 

I exit out of the link, close down my computer, and quickly head downstairs.  I wait until I’m sure no one is in the restroom - yes, I have a camera but it’s _not_ to be a pervert - and exit through the door that’s marked _Closet_.

I lock it and quickly leave the shop.  Then I walk home, twelve blocks in forty degree weather.  I don’t feel the cold.  I just feel disgusted, in myself, and my reaction to her.  I’ll spend the rest of the evening in my gym, like I do most evenings, and forget about Daisy.

That's exactly what I do, until I am ready for bed and I notice another message from Phasma. _Did you have a chance to look over the websites?_   And immediately images of her flood my mind.  How am I going to get past this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me. I hope you enjoy it! Please leave kudos or comments!


	3. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally our heroes meet!

**Rey - Three**

 

“So, guess who has a meeting with Ben Solo at four o’clock today!”  I scream out loud to all three of my roommates, who are gathered around the kitchen table having Saturday morning breakfast. 

“ _The_ Ben Solo, creator of the Passenger app, and the head honcho of the company I work for?” Finn asks, his shock evident in his face _and_ his voice.

“I just got an email from him!  He’s in Boston on business, and he wants to discuss my business plan!” I exclaim.  Then I visit every person at the table, giving each of them a huge hug.  “I don’t even remember sending him an email, but he responded to it last night, and I just read it!  Isn’t it amazing!”

“Well, since your website’s been up for three days, and there have been no bids, we have to hope that he really likes your idea,” Rose reminds me.  Finn gives her a dirty look, but she ignores him.  All the females in the apartment are totally over his societal programming, his masculine reactions, and his instinct to _protect_ me.  I don’t need protection, what I need is cold hard cash!

“Did you connect it to the Google thing?” I ask her again.

Rose rolls her eyes, and tries not to laugh.  “Yes, and I hit all the highlights, hot, young, virgin, woman.  You should be getting a million hits a day.”

“Hey, just remember, I don’t laugh at you when I have to change your air filter, or your windshield wipers,” I comment, as I steal a piece of buttered toast off her plate.  Before she can grab it, I give her a smirk and shove it in my mouth.  “We all have our strengths and weakness, and the computers just aren’t my strength.”

“Yea, you and tech genius Mr. Solo should have a lot to talk about,” Finn chides.

“His app deals with cars.  I happen to be a car genius.  We should get along just fine,” I tell him.

“You need an outfit.  I can do your hair and your makeup,” Paige offers, excitedly. 

“I don’t need to look good to sell a car guy on an engine,” I counter.

“He is still a guy,” Paige says with a chuckle.  “You need to look _damn_ good.”

“Oh, hey, I have that plaid skirt and the navy blue button down sweater.  Tech guys eat that shit up,” Rose says.

“How do you know what tech guys like?” Finn murmurs, giving her the side eye.

“Because I’ve been around them for most of my life.  I know them, okay?” she answers. 

“Alright, well, whatever you two feel like you need to do to me.  Rose, I need you to print up my business model and plan in color.  Can you do that?”

“The library has the best printer.  I’ll grab a few outfits, then I’ll head over there.  You want to give me a ride before you start your shift, dear?” she asks Finn.

“Oh, now I have something to contribute,” he pouts, but she wraps her arms around his shoulders and gives him a quick kiss.  “Yea, yea, whatever,” he mutters, but continues to let her plant kisses on his lips and cheeks.

 

*****

 

I feel like a complete fraud as I walk into the coffee shop where I’m supposed to meet Ben Solo.  _The_ Ben Solo!  His mother is a senator from Massachusetts, and his father is a well known celebrity, one of those guys who is famous for being famous.  And he is a tall, gorgeous, Italian suit wearing tech billionaire. 

I still can’t believe I’m meeting him, even as he stands when he sees me enter the café.  I’m stunned, even as he approaches me.  He’s even taller than I expected him to be, and his shoulders are wider than humanly possible.  His hair is black, and his eyes are practically bottomless.  He’s incredible.

“Hello, I’m Ben Solo,” he says, and nods his head slightly.  I extend my hand, and he stares at it as if I’m offering him a snake for a split second, before he takes it and shakes it. 

“I know!  Passenger, right?  My best friend is a driver for your company,” I reply, trying my hardest to hide my excitement.  He’s larger than life, and twice as handsome.

“That’s...” he hesitates for a moment, as if searching for the right word, before finishing his thought with, “Interesting.”

“He loves it.  Well, I mean, he loves to drive, and he loves cars almost as much as I do.  It’s the perfect job for him.”  I stand here, like a complete idiot, just staring at him with what I’m sure is a silly grin on my face.  I’m usually bubbly, and I’m always excited to talk about cars, but I’ve never felt so -girly, is that the right word?- around a guy before.   I’m so glad I let Paige work me over, because I would have hated to come here and meet _him_ , with my usual buns and no makeup.  Him looking practically _majestic_ and me in grease stained jeans?  I would have died from embarrassment.

“Are you in line?” a male voice asks from behind me.  I look around, feeling almost disoriented, forgetting for a moment that we are in a café.  I literally thought it was just me and him for a minute.

“What would you like?” Ben asks me, his voice smooth and confident, dark and deep, as he motions me toward the counter.

“Oh, just a soda.  These frilly, overpriced coffees don’t do it for me,” I say.  Then my face turns red as I see the expression of the guy behind the counter, knowing full well he heard me.  I clear my throat, roll my eyes, and say, “A diet soda, please.”

“And a large black coffee, please,” Ben adds.  Of course he would drink his coffee black, like his expensive suits and his shiny shoes.  He pays, even as I’m digging around in my purse for cash, and we move to the end of the counter.  I try not to stare at all of it, all of _him_. 

“Thank you for the drink, and the chance to show you my proposal.  You have no idea how much this means to me.”  I’m babbling, and I can’t stop myself. 

He’s very gracious, though, as he leads me to a table in the back, where I believe he was sitting earlier.  “Please, no worries.  I understand how important capital is for a new start up.”  He looks me over once, as I’m sitting down across from him.  “I just didn’t expect you to be…”

“A woman?” I ask, with a hint of sass.

“British,” he supplies, truthfully.  “But with a name like Rey Jakku, I had no idea what gender you would be.”

“Oh?  You stood right up when I entered the building,” I point out. 

He turns away, so that I can’t see his eyes.  That gives me a chance to gaze at his profile.  He’s clean shaven, and his poofy raven hair practically floats around his face.  His lips are full, pouty, and oh so kissable.  I know he’s nearly ten years older than me, but for some reason he looks younger.  I mean, he looks like an adult, all man and zero boy, but somehow he looks -- soft, sweet, adorable? 

“I looked your name up on a search engine.  I wanted to know who I would be interacting with.”  He says it right before he picks up his cup, to blow on his coffee.

“Oh, well, of course you would do that.  I Googled you too, but I wasn’t expecting you to be so…”  I cannot say attractive to the man who created Passenger, who has billions of dollars, who will make the decision to give me the money I need to create my engine, or not.

“Awkward?” he finishes my statement, his dark eyes now staring right into mine.  It almost seems as if he’s challenging me to disagree with him.

Well, I love a good challenge.

“No.  No!  Do you think you’re awkward?  I haven’t noticed.  I would say, if you were asking me, you appear very confident.”  Good lord, I’m babbling again.  Why can’t I just shut up when I’m nervous?  Not like Ben Solo, who seems very cool, and under control.  Even if his eyes are brimming with some emotion that I can’t identify, but is making my heartbeat skip in my chest.  I smile as I mentally high five myself on coming up with that very PC compliment.  But of course I can’t stop there.  “And, if I’m being completely honest, you seem to be just a tad bit mysterious.”

He makes a scoffing noise, so low I can barely hear it.  Then he looks away from me again.  “Mysterious?”  He only says the one word, but his tone in and of itself is an argument. 

“Is that not an acceptable description?  I would have thought, with your extremely low profile on social media, and the fact that you very rarely speak to the media, that you have actively tried to seem mysterious.” 

That’s when my inner voice takes over.  _Oh, please Rey.  Shut up!  You’re going to turn him off with your incessant chattering.  Stop talking about him, he obviously doesn’t like it.  Talk about your engine._

I take a sip of my soda, and of course it goes down the wrong way, so I begin to sputter and cough. 

He politely hands me a napkin, and asks, “Can I do anything for you?  Do you need a glass of water?”

I shake my head.  I feel my face turning blood red, from either embarrassment or lack of oxygen.  He stands, and gently places his big hand on my shoulder.  It reminds me that he is huge.  I’m not a small woman, but he’s more than half a foot taller than me.  It’s a bit frightening, yet incredibly sexy. 

“Sorry,” he apologizes quickly, and withdraws his hand. 

I wish it was appropriate for me to say, _No, don’t take it away!_

Instead, I say, “Thank you.  That’s very kind of you.”  I wanted him to know that I didn’t find his touch unwelcome, or unwanted.  I’m starting to think I might have this conversation thing down.

His eyes are on me again, as if he’s trying to figure out my motives.  Is he not used to women nervously chatting with him?  I would think he has women talking to him all the time.  Or maybe it’s just me.  Maybe I’m still lacking in social skills.  Maybe I’m _not_ improving.  Damn Unkhar Plutt and his terrible home for children!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really having a blast writing this one. I hope you're enjoying it too. Don't forget to comment, and thanks for all the kudos and comments! They make me happy!


	4. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's reaction to meeting Rey. We know how she feels, now let's see how HE feels. Oh, and does he feel...

**Ben - Four**

 

This is so wrong.  Even if I’m not paying for her virginity, my money is still hanging over her head in the form of capital for her start up.  Of course she would be flirtatious.  She’s trying her hardest to use her femininity to seduce me into helping her.  Of course she would be this bubbly, happy, exuberant young woman who knows how to use it to her advantage against men. 

She is trying to sell her _charms_ to the highest bidder.

But I put a stop to that.  I hacked her website, not with a denial of service attack.  No, I hacked the bid field so that nothing could be entered.  She’ll never know that it was hacked, and she’ll think that no one wants to bid on her.  Maybe she’ll learn her lesson, and never try to do it again.

For some reason I don’t feel as satisfied with the accomplishment as I normally do.

She’s even prettier in real life than she was in the pictures, especially when her proper British accent and her cheerful personality are figured into the equation.  There is no question now about my sexuality.  It is her.  Being near her is making it extremely clear that I am _not_ asexual. 

I’m feeling the blood rush to places that haven’t felt it in a long time.  I experienced random erections during puberty, which I hated because no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t hide them.  I was made fun of for it during high school, constantly.  But I remember one specific instance, while I was doing a math problem in front of the class, and a popular girl and her friends mocked me constantly after that.  That’s when I began to tuck it away, after some searching on the web, and I haven’t had that problem in a long time.  Until I saw her and she reminded me that I am very much human.

“Tell me about your plan,” I ask her, to distract myself from how pretty she is, and how badly I want to touch her and kiss her.

She smiles at me, and immediately pulls a fancy looking presentation folder out of her bag.  The front of the folder says _Jakku Engineering_ , in an attractive font.  Her presentation is excellent.  I would definitely appreciate this if she were asking for a job from me.  Honestly, I would have already hired her.  The moment I saw her walk in the room the job would have been hers. 

She hands the folder to me, with equal parts pride and fear.  “My plan is to build a steam engine that is not only pollution free but also inexpensive.  In ten years we could potentially break our dependence on fossil fuels while driving smaller, lighter cars.”

I find it hard to believe this petite, gorgeous girl who could be a model has created an engine.  Maybe she is a model, and someone has hired her to be the spokesperson for… 

No, I know that isn’t true.  I’ve seen her college transcripts, and she is an excellent student.  I’ve seen pictures of her on the MIT website, working as a team with other students in the Mechanical Engineering Department.  I’ve seen images of her accepting awards.  But I had no idea her voice would be so sweet, her accent so hypnotic.  I’ve poured over the images of her in jeans and stained hoodies, or t-shirts that showed off her incredibly lithe, muscular body.  She hauls equipment around, and holds tools like she’s used them all her life. 

“From as far back as I can remember I’ve tinkered with things, even when it got me in trouble.”  She tries not to frown, but I can see a bit of sadness creeping into her expression, and it makes me want to find the person who punished her for her curiosity, and punish them.  “I fell in love with Junkyard Wars, and instead of pulling things apart to fix them, I began riding the bike that I’d put together with spare parts to the local scrap yard, and began building things.  The owner took me under his wing, and his wife made sure I was fed and didn’t get hurt.  I was in heaven for two years, even though I lived in a rusted out old RV.”  She pauses and smiles brightly, and it’s hard to believe she’s talking about living in a trailer inside a junkyard being heaven.  What must her life had been like before then?  “They helped me so much.  I took my A levels early, and was invited to MIT.  I’ll always owe them for what they did for me.”

Her emotions play across her face.  Her eyes sparkle and her cheeks beam.  She’s amazing.  She’s intelligent.  She’s lovely.  She’s what I’ve always wanted all my life.  And I’ll never be able to have her. 

“I can take you and show you my workspace at the university, if you’d like to see it,” she offers.  “If there’s any more information you need from me, I’ll gladly offer it.”

“It’s Saturday,” I reply.  There are so many ideas wandering through my head.  If I wasn’t the way I am, if I was a normal man, I could ask her out. 

“Oh, don’t worry.  I have a key,” she says playfully. 

“You have a key for a workshop on the campus of MIT?” I ask, totally shocked. 

“Doctor Bacca loves me.  He encourages me to work on my engines as much as I can.  He reminds me of Lars and Beru.  He’s very encouraging.”  She sits patiently and waits for me to respond, but there’s still a kinetic energy radiating from her as if she’s so full of excitement she can’t contain it inside her tiny body.  I wonder what she would look like naked, in my king sized bed, as full of need and desire as I am.

I wouldn’t even know how or where to touch her.  I’d be the worst person to take her virginity.  I could never make it special for her.  Maybe I can read about…

Suddenly her stomach growls, and it’s so loud I can hear it across the table.  Her face becomes blood red.  “I’m sorry.  When I’m nervous I can’t eat.  I had a piece of toast for breakfast, and now…”  She shrugs.

“We must get you some food then.  After that, we can visit your workspace.”  I say it out loud, before I realize I’ve just asked her out.  And I’m mortified.  “I apologize, that was extremely rude of me.  You’re an adult, and don’t need me telling you what you must do.”  Senator Leia Organa would be ashamed to see her son speaking to a woman as if she can’t make her own decisions.  Then it hits me like a brick, that I’ve taken her decision to auction her virginity away from her.  Am I feeling like now that’s somehow okay?  No, it’s not right, but it’s _her_ decision to make.  I’m confusing myself, and it’s the most uncomfortable feeling.  “If you would like to get something to eat, and then show me your engine, I would be more than happy to accompany you.” 

“I’d love that.  Thank you for being so thoughtful,” she replies, with what looks like a repressed smile that makes the apples of her cheeks round and red.

I’m smitten, and I’m not even surprised.  I should have expected it.  I was already falling for her when I saw her website.  Now, I’ve fallen and there’s no turning back.  I’m sure I’ll regret it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've thought of some interesting ways to introduce the other characters - or at least I think so. Hope everyone enjoys it. Leave me comments and tell me what you think - especially about Ben wearing the hood when he's anxious. Thanks for all the kudos and comments! 100+ kudos? I'm shocked!


	5. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I mistakenly mentioned the black hood after the last chapter. So I guess I should mention I found it...  
> I'm so, soooo very happy for all the positive feedback! I'm giddy!

**Rey - Five**

 

_I thought he’d never ask._  

He’s been looking at me like he wants to run away the entire time we’ve been sitting here.  Except for once or twice, for brief seconds I thought maybe his eyes were smoldering with something I can’t describe, or explain.  His eyes are so expressive, it’s like every emotion he feels shines through in them.  I could stare into them forever, and happily get lost in their bottomless darkness. 

He finally stands, and grabs a soft leather bag that’s been sitting beside him.  I can’t believe he just walked off and left it, but he didn’t have it when he accompanied me to the counter.  Either way, I stand to join him, and our arms bump together.  I feel a sudden jolt of sensation travel up my arm straight to the back of my neck, and I immediately look up at him.  His soulful eyes grow wider for a moment, before he quickly turns away. 

I take a step away from the table, allowing him to walk past me but he doesn’t.  He waits on me to go first.  I know his mother is a senator, who doesn’t?  She comes from the Organa dynasty.  Her father was a senator from Massachusetts before her, and his father before him.  He must have learned his impeccable manners from her.  He’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met, and it’s intriguing and exciting. 

“After you,” he says in his smooth, rich voice, and I feel it warm my entire body.

I grab my bag and my soda, and notice his expensive coffee is left untouched on the table.  I make my way toward the exit, and I can’t help but feel safer just because he’s with me.  He moves lithely, for someone so tall and broad.  He opens the door for me, as a gentleman would, without a hint of the awkwardness he professes to feel.

When we’re outside, I’m unsure what to do.  Usually I’m the leader of the group during labs, but for some reason I _want_ Ben to be in charge.  And he’s looking at me, like I should know what’s going on. 

“Did you drive here?” I ask, which is an easy enough question. 

I think.  Until his face turns blood red, and his chin falls which causes his bottom lip to pout out even farther.  How can a man that big look so vulnerable, and be so damn hot at the same time?

“I don’t drive,” he murmurs, and looks down at his feet that are just as big as the rest of him. 

“I’m sorry, what?” I ask, and take a step toward him, thinking I didn’t hear him right.

He dares to meet my gaze again, and his eyes seem even more young and fragile.  “I don’t drive, okay?” he replies, his voice full of angst.  “I never learned how.”  He bites at his full bottom lip that is so red I swear he must use some kind of lipstick to get it that color.

I know I shouldn’t laugh, and I try like hell to hold it in.  I even cover my mouth with my hand, and clear my throat several times.  His eyes have locked onto mine with a laser focus, burning brightly, practically begging me not to react.  But eventually it comes out in a light giggle.

He exhales loudly and roughly.  I see his chest rise and fall with it, and his shoulders hunch over with what I can only imagine is humiliation.  He turns quickly, without another word, and begins to walk away.

I watch him take several steps, bewildered.  I have no idea what to do.  Eventually, though, a tiny voice inside me whispers, _Follow after him_.

“Mr. Solo!” I call out, and chase him in the stupid high heels that aren’t even mine.  It’s a miracle that I don’t fall, but I do stumble when I’m near him and grab for his arm.  “Mr. Solo!” I exclaim, and with feline grace he turns and catches me.

“Rey,” he says breathlessly.  He holds on to me at my elbow and my wrist, steadying me, as I gaze up into his dark eyes.  “Are you okay?”  He’s concerned about my safety, even though he thinks I mocked him.  His fingers lightly caress my wrist, and it’s like a valve opening inside me.  I feel a rush of pleasure I’ve never experienced in my life.  It’s amazing!

I shiver, take a deep breath, and hold it.  I need to apologize!  “I’m sorry I laughed.  I’ve just been driving since I was like fourteen.  I wasn’t laughing to mock you.  I was laughing because it shocked me.”  He releases me when I’m standing on my own, and his eyes become guarded.  “I promise.  It’s exciting really, finding someone who never learned to drive.  I’d love to teach you.”

All of a sudden he pulls away, as if he’s afraid of me.  His eyes look suspicious now, and his full lips are an angry, hard line.  “No,” he states, and turns abruptly.  As he does he pulls the hood of his black wool coat up over his head, casting his striking face in shadows.  And he thinks he’s _not_ mysterious?

“Please don’t make me chase you in these heels!  I might fall!” I call out.  How did I suddenly become this girl who tries to manipulate the guy by acting helpless!  This is not me.  But it works.  He faces me with the hood still over his head.  It’s taken twenty-one years, but I’ve finally figured out what sexual attraction is.  Just staring at him is making certain places in my body tingle.  “Ben!”  I love the way his name sounds, especially when his eyes soften at the sound.  “Ben, I’m sorry.  Forgive me please.”

He’s so different from anyone I’ve ever met, especially the men.  Finn and Poe both have gasoline running through their veins.  Poe is almost as good a driver as me, and Finn is almost as good with engines.  I’ve never met a guy who wasn’t into cars.  It’s so atypical, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad.  He’s just different.

I reach out my hand to him, and he stares at it for a second, two, three.  Then his eyes find mine again, and he looks so scared, but there’s also a glimmer of what looks like hope buried deep in his dark brown eyes.

“Please,” I murmur.  _Trust me.  Take my hand and we’ll go on an adventure I promise.  I promise I won’t hurt you again.  We’ll have so much fun._ “Please.”

After several excruciating seconds, he slowly reaches out and takes my hand.  His hand is big, soft, and warm, and feels like it was made to hold mine.  “Okay,” he says with a firm nod, and takes a step toward me.

“Okay,” I echo, my voice a million times more excited than his.  I lead him a few yards down the block, and stop at my car.  If he was nervous because of my laughing at him not driving, I’m just as nervous that he’ll laugh at my car.  He doesn’t, though. 

But what he says is just as bad.

“What’s this?” he asks flatly, as he gazes at my junkyard Jaguar. 

It’s got primer in places, the paint on the passenger door and the hood doesn’t match the rest of it, and the hood ornament is gone and throughout all of my scavenging I haven’t been able to find a replacement.  But it’s mine.  If Lars had taught me how to do body work, I would have painted it sparkly gold.  It’s not much to look at, but to me it’s everything. 

“It’s my car,” I reply.  It takes three tries for him to get the door open, and when he does he stares at the torn leather seat.  “It’s fine,” I assure him, and cover the tear with the towel that slipped onto the floorboard.  “It’s fine.  Perfectly safe.”  He doesn’t believe me, and I’m sure he doesn’t trust me.  He inhales deeply, but still doesn’t speak.  “I’m a mechanic.  Structurally and mechanically it’s sound.  The tires are new-ish, and the oil was changed three days ago.”

Finally he climbs into my car, against his better judgment it seems.  He reaches out and closes the door with a loud screech, and I grin.  I’m happier than if I’d just won a race.  Then I climb into the driver’s seat, remove my shoes to replace them with the comfortable flats I wore here, and start the car.  The engine roars to life, and it makes my blood sing. 

He’s already got his seatbelt on, and I buckle mine too.

“Everything will be fine,” I assure him, as I slowly pull out into traffic. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey is the first to make a wrong step, but we're fine. We're all fine here, now, thank you. How are you?


	6. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can't wait to see what everyone thinks about this one! Please don't hesitate to let me know.

**Ben - Six**

 

What am I doing in this piece of junk?  It looks like she’s patched it together with spare parts and Bondo.  Even with all of her reassurances I can’t believe it’s safe.  And anyway, I should have left immediately when she laughed at me for not knowing how to drive. 

I shouldn’t even be here at all.  But I couldn’t stop myself.  I had to meet her, _see_ her.  I looked around in her computer and found the form email that she’d sent out to every investment firm in the country, trying to get backing for her project.  I copied it, faked a time stamp, and placed it in an email as if I were replying to it.  It was so easy a child could have done it.  How in the hell was I supposed to know I’d end up in an unsafe vehicle going who knows where. 

I’m with her though, and that’s what I’ve wanted since I saw her pictures three days ago. 

I feel the vibrations of the loud engine through the floorboard.  I’m sure my feet will fall through it, and end up dragging along the street.  I think that might be an eight track tape player in the stereo, although I’ve never seen one in real life.  How old is this car, anyway?

She smiles at me, while humming a song I can’t identify and nodding her head with the beat.  “See, I told you.  Perfectly fine.”  It’s all almost surreal, and yet beautiful at the same time.

“Where are we going?” I ask, just as I see that she’s pulling onto the campus.  I’m very familiar with it.  The IT Department is closer to the river, which might be part of the reason I chose the building I did for Passenger, but I also spent a lot of time in the MechE building, in the robotics lab.  This girl, though, who lived for two years in a scrap yard, has a key.  My mind would be blown by that fact alone, if it wasn’t already blown about everything else that is _her_.

She grabs her bag, places her lanyard with her ID around her neck, and says, “Come on!”  She opens her door easily, but mine takes a little more effort.  When I’m standing outside it, she says, “Don’t forget to lock the door.”  I notice the locking device near the window, and depress it before closing it up.  This car is a relic.

“I thought we were going for dinner,” I remind her, as I follow along behind her.  Her gait is bouncy, and I find myself watching the back of her short skirt flounce around her muscular thighs.

“I don’t eat when I’m nervous, and you walking away earlier made me very nervous.  I did _not_ mean to offend you,” she apologizes yet again.

I understand why she’s doing it.  She needs my money.  If my name _wasn’t_ Ben Solo, if I didn’t own Passenger, she wouldn’t look twice at me.

She holds her ID against the sensor by the door, and when it clicks she opens it.  I reach for it to hold it for her as she enters, and our hands brush.  It’s the third time I’ve touched her skin, and it’s sent electric shocks up my arm every damn time.  She turns to look into my eyes, perhaps searching for an explanation.  Does she feel it too?

“After you,” I say, and move my hand away from hers.  She enters, and I allow the door to close behind me.  I go back to watching her skirt bounce with each step, reminding myself that I am _not_ a pervert.  Suddenly we’re in an elevator, and I don’t know how we got here.  I’ve been mesmerized by her lovely backside.

“Then Dr. Bacca says, ‘If you need to know anything about engines, just ask this little lady,’ and he points at me.  Can you believe it?” she asks.  I have no idea what she’s said.  It’s like my brain is zoning out, while only concentrating on the skin of the backs of her thighs, wondering how it would feel against my palms.  This is _not_ me. 

Instead of asking her to repeat her story, I simply reply, “No, I can’t.”

We exit the elevator, and she leads me down a hallway.  She seems to be very comfortable in the lead, and she seems sure I’ll follow.  The truth is, I would follow her to hell and back, just to watch her gorgeous ass sway while she walks.

“I hope he’s here, I’d like you to meet him,” she says.  “Damn, his door is closed.  Maybe he’s in the lab.”  The door is labeled Dr. Charles Bacca.  I remember him from my time here.  He is a tall man, even taller than me, and slim with a head full of thick shaggy hair. 

She smiles when she walks around the corner and sees the door open.  “He is here!  His name is Charles, but everyone calls him Chewie.”  She steps inside, and he turns toward her.  His hair is just as shaggy as I remember, but it’s not nearly as thick, and there is a lot more gray than sandy brown now.  His small dark eyes are hidden behind thick glasses, but he still looks the same.  “Chewie, this is…”

“Ben,” he says, and nods to me.  I guess he remembers I don’t like to do the hand shaking thing.  I don’t need the outdated ceremony to test my masculinity.  The only purpose it serves is to spread germs. 

“Chewie,” I reply, with my own curt nod.

“You two know each other?” she asks, as if she’s surprised.  Surely she knows I’m an alumnus.

“Ben used to hang out in the robotics lab.  At one point we thought he’d be the one to usher in the age of Skynet.”  Chewie chuckles as he says it, but I still tinker with AI in my spare time, not that I’d tell anyone.

“And we all thought you would build the first warp core engine,” I remind him.

“Don’t think I haven’t tried to convince her,” he says with a glance at Rey.  “If any student could do it, it’s this little lady.”  He smiles at her, and fondly places his hand on her shoulder.  I’ve never been so jealous of another male in my life.  “I’ve even tried to get her to watch _First Contact_ with me, but she’s more of a Fast and Furious kind of girl.”

I really wish he’d stop calling her demeaning names, like little lady and girl, as if he’s talking down to her.  She’s an intelligent, beautiful, mature _woman_.

Rey, on the other hand, seems to be eating it up.  She’s grinning from ear to ear.  I’m even more jealous now.  “I’ve brought him to see my engine.  He’s considering funding my start up.” 

“Steam engines are…” she begins.

And Chewie joins her, his normally gravelly voice almost giddy, “The future of transportation, not just personal but also public.”

“I must say that a lot.”  She rolls her eyes, and Chewie musses her hair affectionately.  “But it’s true.”  She pulls the cloth off of the table in front of her, and grins proudly.  I hadn’t even noticed the cloth, or the table.  I’ve been too busy seething at Dr. Bacca.  “Tada!” she exclaims, and motions her hand.

It looks like every other engine in every other car made in the last forty years.  “It’s an engine,” I reply. 

“It’s not just any engine.  It’s a steam engine,” Chewie says in all seriousness.

“But I thought steam engines were antiquated technology that was passed over for gasoline.  What’s so special about this one?” 

Chewie closes his eyes and shakes his head, warning me that I’ve said the wrong thing.  “Oh, no,” Chewie comments, and begins to slink away, as if for cover.  I have no idea how a guy who is nearly seven feet tall can disappear so quickly. 

And Rey is fuming.  Her pretty eyes are all squinted up, and her hands are on her hips.  She looks like she’s ready to fight.  I can almost see the steam coming out of her ears.  I try not to laugh at the thought, because I know how upset I was when she giggled at me earlier.

“I’m not trying to be insulting, I’m asking in all seriousness,” I assure her.  I feel like I’m trying to talk her down in my head, like she did with me earlier.

She seems to accept my explanation, and calms down.  She even smiles.  “At one point in time steam engines took longer to get started because of the time it took to heat the steam.  Mine will be different.” 

“And don’t they need fossil fuels to heat up the water to make steam?” I continue.

Indignantly she states, “Mine will be _different_ ,” and gives me a harsh look for interrupting her, “Because my engine does not have the wait time to heat up, nor does it use fossil fuels to heat the water.”  She takes a deep breath, as if she’s about to share the most classified secret in the world.  “It runs completely on compressed air.  I’ve already built the electric air compressor.”

This is where she almost looks uncertain.  She’s seemed so confident about her project up until now.  “But?” I ask, knowing for sure there is an issue with her cherished engine.

“It’s bigger than I had hoped it would be, and I need more funding to continue.  I’m sure I can do it with…”  And this is where she looks completely deflated, as if her entire world has been crushed.  “I’m sorry, really.  I’d been having so much fun with you I’d nearly forgotten the purpose of our meeting today.  I’m sure you’re a very busy man, and I’m sorry I’ve taken so much of your time.”

She moves to grab the cloth off the floor, to cover her engine again.  I need to say something, to make sure she knows that I’m here because I want to spend time with her too.  I hacked her computer and made the trip to Cambridge just to see her, just to meet _her_ , and now I’m standing here watching as she’s getting ready to dismiss me like a total nerd. 

_Come on, kid… say something.  Why do you find it so hard to put your thoughts into words!_ I try to ignore the voice, even though it is offering good advice. But of course it only does _that_ in my head, never in real life.

I move closer to her, to help her with her task, and hear her stomach growling again.  “I promised to take you for food.  Would you still like that?  Or…”

I lean down to grab a corner, and she’s bent over too, and she looks up at me with her gleaming eyes that are more beautiful than the most precious gemstones.  And then she smiles.  She seems so genuinely happy, even with her terrible childhood and her money problems.  I wish I could be that happy. 

“Yea, I’d like that.”  We work together to cover her prized project.  “I’d like that a lot,” she continues.  “Since you used to live here, why don’t you pick the restaurant?  I mean I have a few favorites, but I’m not sure what kind of food you like.  I happen to like everything.”

She chats excitedly as she leads me out of the room.  She says goodbye to Chewie as we pass his office. 

“Nice seeing you again, Ben,” he calls out from behind his desk.

“You too, Dr. Bacca,” I reply, with a nod.

She leads me back out of the building, and I grin as I continue to watch her walk while she chats about food.  She calms me somehow, soothing some of the anxiety that I usually feel, especially around women.  She’s not awkward like me, or sullen.  She’s sunny and warm.  She’s beauty and grace.  She’s…

“Were you listening?” she asks, as we arrive at her car.

Yes, I was listening.  I want to soak in every bit of her, her voice, her dimples, her slim little hips and those long, muscular legs.  “Pinocchio’s on Winthrop,” I say.  She gives me a warm grin, acknowledging that I was in fact paying attention.  “But I’m not in the mood for pizza.  Do you like Chinese?”

Somehow her smile lights up even brighter.  “The Dumpling House it is, then,” she says, before letting herself into her car with the key.  It’s so ancient.  She needs a new car.  She leans across the seat to unlock my side, and it takes two hard tugs to open it.  Yes, definitely a new car.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to figure out creative ways to introduce characters. I knew I needed a favorite professor, and of course Chewie was the one I thought of to help Rey with her engine.  
> Thank you for all of the kudos and the comments! 160 kudos! It's so exciting!


	7. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here they are, out on their first date. Let's see how they do.

**Rey - Seven**

 

“God, this is so delicious it must be a sin!”  I laugh as I say it, and wipe at some sauce that is dribbling down my chin.  His eyes have zeroed in on it, and I feel like a bull in a china shop compared to him.  Still, I shake my head and continue to chat, maybe because he actually _listens_.  It’s incredible after such a lonely childhood to find someone who is interested in what I have to say.  “I remember the very first time I had Chinese food.  It was the day Finn found me at university, and I shoved him into my car to get him away from my space.  It was…”  I glance across the table, and see that he is giving me the blankest of stares.  He has a bite of noodles trapped perfectly on a set of chopsticks, halfway to his mouth.  I can’t even get them to stay on a damn fork.  “Of course you can use chopsticks perfectly.”  I want to finish the thought by asking him if there’s anything he can’t do, but I already know the answer to that.

“Why do you say that?” he asks, as if I’ve said the worst insult.

“Your table manners are perfect.  Hell, your _manners_ manners are perfect,” I reply, right before I lean over my plate and shovel fried rice into my mouth with a spoon.

“You’re not vegan,” he notices, as if it’s the oddest thing in the world.

I shake my head, not daring to answer him with my mouth full.  I chew quickly, and swallow.  “I haven’t had the luxury of being picky with what foods I eat.  I try not to eat meat, but I’m not going to turn it down when I’m hungry.”  After that, I take a huge bite of a pan fried dumpling covered in sweet and sour sauce.

“That’s noble.  Of course wasting food is bad, too,” he says, as he eats his vegan rice noodles and vegan fried rice with broccoli, carrots, bamboo tips, and water chestnuts with tofu.  He also has an order of vegetarian dumplings.   He has a plate full of so much food I’m not sure I’d be able to eat it all in a week.  I don’t comment though.  There’s no way I’d be able to talk myself out of that, if he took it as an offense, which I’m almost positive he would. 

“Finn is the friend I told you about, the one who drives for Passenger.  We met after I beat him in a street race,” I admit.  I wait for him to tell me how bad it is, how illegal and unsafe, how I shouldn’t do it.  But he doesn’t. 

He’s staring at me, and he’s thoughtful.  Then he shocks me when he says, “I’d like for you to teach me.  But not in your car, I’m still not convinced it’s safe.  How about if I buy you a car, and you can teach me in it?”

I wish he’d warned me before he said that, because I sputter and spit my water out.  He hands me a napkin, as he asked the waitress for extras, and waits patiently for me to recover.  I wish he’d put his hand on my shoulder again, like he did at the coffee shop.  I quite liked him touching me.

“You want to buy me a car?” I ask, dumbfounded. 

“Yes, and in return you’ll teach me how to drive it.  But it has to be a safe car.  You’ll have to pick the safest car on the market.”  He continues to eat, as if it’s the most normal thing in the world.

“You’re serious?” 

“I mean, if you’d rather not teach me, I understand.”  His eyes are on his plate, but he’s stopped eating.  His shoulders slump a little.  “It was a stupid suggestion.  Never mind-“

How can this man absolutely crush my heart without even trying?  How can he appear so self-assured, while also seeming so self-conscious?  He’s an enigma, a puzzle that I need to solve.

 _Reassure him,_ the voice inside my head insists.  _Let him know you care.  Let him know he matters._

I clear my throat, and begin to throw words together in a line of BS like I’ve never done before.  “You are absolutely right.  I mean, of course I can drive my car because I understand its quirks.  I have to pump the gas three times just to get it to start sometimes, not twice, or four times.  The car _is_ very moody, very testy.  A new, safer car would be ideal to learn in.” 

While I’m spinning my thread, it takes a moment for his head to come up.  Then he looks at me with that same distrust I saw after I laughed at him.  He’s again trying to judge my motives.  It’s very off-putting, trying so hard to get a person I just met to trust me.  I can see in his eyes that he doesn’t trust many people.

Well, maybe the best way to get him to trust me is to be honest with him.  “May I just say, I’ve never had anyone offer to buy me dinner, much less a car.  It shocked me, okay?  It’s just not something one might expect, over dinner.”

He inhales, and exhales deeply, slowly.  The rise and fall of his chest is noticeable again.  It must be a calming technique.  In his eyes I can see the wheels spinning around in his head.  He’s trying to find a way to blame himself for this, maybe even berate himself over the offer.

 _Stop him_ , the voice commands.

“I did offer to teach you to drive, and I would love to.  I mean, if you want to learn to do something, you should learn from the best.”  I say it with maybe a little too much pride, but I also force a smile from him.  “And you’re right, you should also learn in the best car possible.”

He nods, as if his idea really was sane and normal in the first place.  “What are you doing tomorrow?”

I try not to smile as I think of what I’ll be doing tomorrow.  “Dr. Kanata’s son has wrecked his car again.  I don’t do body work, I wish I could, but I’ve promised to install a new headlamp and indicator.  She said he’ll have to live with the dent in the fender until he can save up enough money to pay for it himself.”  He remains silent, but gazes at me as if the sun suddenly rose behind me.  “I’ll be going to Yoda’s first thing in the morning, to scavenge some new-ish lights.  Then I’m supposed to meet Dr. Kanata at one to install the lights.  You are more than welcome to come with me.”

I’ve got him caught between a rock and a hard place now.  I can see the last thing he wants to do on a Sunday morning is spend time in a junkyard.  He doesn’t back down though.  “I’d like that,” he says, in a voice that says he will obviously hate it.

“Yoda said he recently got a Jaguar in, and I’m hoping its hood ornament is intact.”  I say it, before I remember that I’d insanely agreed to allow him to buy me a car.  “But of course I won’t need it now, but if it has one, I would like to grab it before someone else does.”

I inhale and hold it, and he nods intently before returning to his food.

What have I gotten myself into with this beautiful, delicate man?

 

*****

 

“So is this your room share for the weekend?” I ask, as we pull into the garage of one of the most expensive apartment buildings on Cambridge Parkway, with a stunning view of the river and less than a mile from campus.

“No, it’s my condo.  Pull in here,” he says, and indicates a parking spot, the sign says it is reserved for one of the units in the building.  I park, and my mouth hangs open as I process the notion that this is his home.  He sits silently for several moments, staring out the windshield before he asks, “Would you like to come up for a drink?”

“I’m driving, so I shouldn’t be drinking,” I point out. 

“You’re right, I shouldn’t have asked,” he murmurs, and immediately grabs for the door.  When it won’t open, he mutters, “Stupid door,” and bumps his massive shoulder against it so hard I’m afraid it might shatter.

“Ben,” I say, and reach out my hand to touch the shoulder that is closest to me.  He stops immediately, but refuses to look at me or even turn forward again.  “You’re not angry at the door.”

“No,” he admits, and exhales loudly. 

“Is there something you’d like to ask me?” I prompt, gently.

Then he turns toward me, and his eyes look wet with unshed tears, and he’s biting at his bottom lip so hard I’m afraid he might tear a hole in it.  My hand moves slowly upward, and my eyes don’t leave his as my palm encounters the softness of his cheek.  He breathes loudly, and his shoulders shake. 

My heart is pounding in my chest, but I’ve never been out with anyone, much less kissed someone.  He’s thirty, he’s certainly been out with, and had a woman up to his apartment.  He’s had sex before.  Hasn’t he?

His eyes are pleading with me as he whispers, “Would you like to come upstairs with me?”

I smile at him, a soft smile that I hope is full of expectation and maybe a little fear.  “Ben, I’m a-“

He immediately turns to push at the door again.  I grab for his other cheek, and he stops.  Slowly, I pull his face toward mine so he has to look at me again. 

“I’m a virgin, Ben.  I don’t have any experience with…”

Slowly, intently, he interrupts me.  “I’m not ready to stop being with you.  We can go somewhere, anywhere.”  I can practically see his heartbeat pounding at the vein in his neck.  I can hear his heavy, erratic breathing.  “That’s what men do in movies, ask women upstairs.  I’m sorry if that was wrong.  I just don’t want you to go.”

“I thought you’d be tired of my excessive chattering by now,” I admit, as my eyes take in his regal forehead, his high cheekbones, his slightly aquiline nose, and his deep rich eyes that look so dark against his pale skin. 

“Your voice is musical,” he whispers.  “It’s very soothing.”

“Ben, I…”  I can’t finish my thought.  I can’t tell him that I’m starting to feel things for him, or that he’s the sexiest man I’ve ever seen.  I can’t say that I want to go upstairs with him too, but I’m scared of where it may lead. 

He tries to look away again, but I’ve got his head in my hands and I’m not letting go.  So he looks down.  I reach forward and lightly touch my lips to his. 

He doesn’t reach out to hold me, or touch me.  He doesn’t even kiss me back.  I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I know that a warmth emanates from where our lips meet, and flows through my entire body.  His lips part and I sigh softly.  My fingers move toward his hair, which is just as soft and silky as I knew it would be. 

I don’t know how to deepen the kiss, but I’ll be damned if I move away first.  So we sit here, for several moments, our lips pressed together and my fingers playing with his hair. 

He moans loudly, but still doesn’t try to touch me. 

“Ben,” I mutter against his lips.  “I don’t know how…”

“Neither do I,” he groans, and I’m stunned enough to pull back.  “I’m sorry.  I haven’t either.”

It’s my turn to shiver this time.  It’s thrilling, knowing that he’s never done it either.  We could learn together.  It could be so perfect!  I almost forget for a brief moment that I’m auctioning my virginity.  I can’t lose it with him, even if he wants me that way too.

_Damn!_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this wasn't too painful. Ben doesn't stand a chance. When Rey is determined she will get her way.  
> If you're enjoying my AU, leave me a comment or click the kudos. We all love kudos!  
> I can't believe I'm over 175! I. Am. THRILLED!


	8. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben screws up too... When are you going to figure it out? The girl WANTS you?

**Ben - Eight**

 

“I don’t expect you to sleep with me tonight.  Or _at all_ , I mean, I don’t expect anything from you.  I wouldn’t even know what to do anyway.”  I can’t believe I’m admitting it out loud.  But I also can’t believe a woman is kissing me, and not just any woman either.  The most magical, beautiful person I’ve ever met is actually touching me, kissing me.  It’s hard to understand, and yet, it’s so exciting.  “But, it’s just…”  I have to express myself to her.  Her eyes are demanding it.  She won’t let me sulk and remain silent with my feelings.  “I like you touching me, and kissing me.  I like it a lot.” 

She closes her eyes and tips her chin toward me, as if she actually enjoys listening to me talk and my voice isn’t the most annoying nasal sound in the world.  “Don’t be afraid, Ben, I feel it too.”

My whole body reacts to her admission. _It_ is hard, and since I stopped tucking a few years ago, when the awkward puberty phase passed, it’s straining against my dress pants, at the wrong angle too, and it hurts.  I have no idea how to fix it with her sitting right beside me, either.

“I have to use the restroom,” I say, since it’s the least embarrassing excuse I can think of.  “So if you’re coming up with me…” 

She gives me another sincere smile, and another quick kiss, and slowly releases my cheeks.  Then, with a slight nod, she says, “Yes, I think I will.”

It’s like the earth shakes around me.  Or is that my insides?  Either way, this is definitely a new feeling.  A girl is coming up to my place. 

I move to get out of the car, and the door still won’t open.  _Stupid car_. 

“I’ll get it,” she offers, and hurriedly exits.  She opens my door, and waits for me to exit with her bag over her shoulder.  “Lead the way,” she orders, and I quickly obey.

 

*****

 

“This is it,” I say, as she throws off her high heels and bounds into the living room.  She’s a force of nature with all her excitement over everything.  It’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen.

“Oh, my God!  You live here?!” she gushes, as she moves straight toward the balcony off the living room. 

“I live in New Hampshire, where the headquarters for Passenger are located.  But I keep this apartment for when I travel for business, or have to visit my parents.” 

She gasps, loudly, and says, “Our entire apartment could fit in your living room!”  It’s late February, and it’s not even forty degrees, but she immediately throws open the sliding door and steps out onto the balcony. 

I lean against the door frame and watch her, the wind from the river blowing her gorgeous chestnut hair across her face.  It wafts past her and I get a hint of her scent, cherries and vanilla.  She smells delicious, like a creamy dessert.

“It’s gorgeous!” she exclaims after several moments.  Then she turns toward me, and her beautiful face lights up, even brighter than the full moon hanging in the dark sky.  The lights sparkling on the river frame her face perfectly. 

 _You’re gorgeous_ , I want to say.  But I’m still not brave enough, even though she told me not to be afraid, because she feels it too.  How can I know for sure that she feels that way about me and not my money?

“Come stand with me,” she insists, and extends her hand to me. 

The thought, once there, refuses to be forgotten.  “I’ll be right back,” I reply, and head toward my bedroom.  Once inside I lock the door and lean heavily against it.  What in the hell was I thinking inviting her up here, into my personal space?  Am I a total moron? 

“Fuck!” I exclaim, and rub my hands over my face.  This was the worst idea ever.  She looks even better in the moonlight.  I should have known she would.

At that memory my cock reminds me why I had to run upstairs.  It’s straining against my pants.  I reach in to arrange it, and as soon as my hand encounters it I feel a sharp mixture of pleasure and pain reverberate through my body.  I exhale, and immediately remove my hand.  My reaction to my own touch shocks me.  I know the sex organs are supposed to be pleasurable, but I’ve never seen it as anything more than a nuisance, necessary only for certain bodily functions. 

But now, after meeting her…

I lean my head back against the door, and rub down the length of it through my wool pants and my thick cotton underpants.  My breath escapes in a long pant.  My shoulders shake.  My hairs stand on end, and my fingers and toes tingle.  My body is _alive_!

I quickly remove my hand, and place it flat against the door.  I want to feel that for the first time with her, or not at all.  But if she could, she would sell her first time to someone she doesn’t know, doesn’t care about.  They won’t care about her, They won’t want to make it the most special night of her life.  They will only care about one thing, their own pleasure. 

I can’t let that happen.  I won’t.  I’ll make sure it doesn’t.

I catch my reflection in the mirror over the dresser.  How could she possibly find _that_ attractive?  It’s the money.  It has to be.  If I was poor, though, I wouldn’t have had the means to make our meeting happen.  The money is a gift and a curse. 

I’m a smart guy.  There has to be a way I can figure out if she likes me, or my money.  There has to be.  As I’m thinking about it, staring at my reflection, she knocks on my door.

“Ben, are you okay?” she calls out.

“I’m fine.  I’ll be out soon.  Turn on some music,” I suggest.

“Okay,” she replies, and after a few more moments I hear her walking away. 

Wow, I’ve got myself into a mess this time.  I decide to take a few minutes and do my breathing exercises.    Breathe in, hold it, then breathe out.  And I do it again, and again.  When I’m finished I feel a little better.  I remove my coat and my suit jacket, and hang them in my closet.  Then I decide to go ahead and remove my dress shirt and tie, too, and pull on a black crew neck sweater.  This should be more comfortable, and warm if she wants sit outside.  I’ll be fine.

When I return to the living room, I find her standing in front of the stereo with a CD case in her hand, swaying to the rhythm of the song _Volcano_.  Her hips and shoulders move tantalizingly.  She’s not doing it intentionally, she might not even notice I’m here.  But the way she is moving is doing something to me.  I’m picturing her sitting in my lap, rubbing her cute little ass against my thighs.  The thing between my legs reacts, almost violently, throbbing and somehow growing even bigger.

I try to stop the mental image that’s playing in my head, and the erection that won’t quit, but I can’t.  If I were any other man, I would ask her to dance.  Then, I’d…

She turns to find me watching her, and her face is blood red.  “Oh, hey.  I didn’t hear you come in.” 

I feel like a perv, not just for watching her but because of what I was thinking.  But damn, I don’t care.  I would give anything, _anything,_ to be allowed to keep watching her move her body like that. 

“That’s my favorite.”  I somehow get the words out.  I’m frozen in the spot, unsure of what else to do. 

She glances down at the case, O by Damien Rice.  “I had no idea anyone in the States had heard of him.  I found the CD in the RV, and I fell in love.  I used to listen to it every night.”

 _Don’t throw yourself like that, in front of me_ , a female voice echoes hauntingly from the speakers.  I feel like I’ve been punched in the chest, finally understanding the meaning of words to one my favorite songs. 

Rey extends her hands to me again, and I am powerless to do anything other than take them.  I can’t question her reasons, or my own sanity.  I just reach for her, as if she’s a lifeline because I feel like I’m drowning in feelings. 

_What I am to you, is not real._

I take both her hands, and she pulls me closer.  “Dance with me,” she teases, the words falling from her beautiful mouth. 

 _Volcano_ ends, and _The Blower’s Daughter_ begins, and her hands move up my arms to my shoulders.  I begin to sing under my breath.  “ _I can’t take my eyes off you._ ” 

My hands are still on hers, somehow cradling them, until they move up to my neck and mine travel down her arms.  She seems so small, almost fragile. 

I match her swaying movement, realizing it’s the closet I’ve come to dancing with a girl since cotillion class.  It feels so right, though, doing it with her. 

“Ben.”  She whispers my name like it’s sacred.  She’s staring into my eyes, and her fingers are in my hair.  I feel pulses of sweet torture rippling through my body.  And I do what I never thought I’d do.  I lean down and forward, and touch my lips to hers.

“Ben,” she whispers against my lips. 

Maybe it’s instinct, something we’re all born with.  Maybe it’s programming, from movies to television to literature.  Maybe it’s just a deep seated need, an overwhelming ache to feel her body against mine.  I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her closer, feeling the body I’ve been ogling all day soft and firm, pliant and eager against mine.  My tongue escapes my mouth, as if it knows what it’s doing, to taste her lips. 

I hear a soft moan, or maybe I feel it against my tongue.  My hands spread out, nearly spanning her narrow back.  She so damn _small_ , I might break her.

And God, for some strange reason, I want to _try_.

I feel the blood pumping fast through my body, engorging my already hard penis.  My hands move down to her lower back, and pull her against it.  It’s agony, and ecstasy.  Her body molds against mine perfectly, her softness against my hard…

“Ben,” she gasps, and she sounds shocked.

Of course she’s shocked, stunned by my actions, my arousal, my perverted need.  I’ve gone too far.  I release her and pull away quickly, and she stumbles.  “I’m sorry, that was wrong.”  She looks up at me, her doe eyes look hurt.  Of course she’s mad at me, and she should be.  I told her I wouldn’t try to seduce her, and it’s exactly what I end up trying to do.  I’m disgusting.  “I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have done that.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Ben. He just doesn't understand. He's H-O-T!  
> Maybe Rey can convince him, eventually.
> 
> The songs and the lyrics mentioned are by Damien Rice. No copyrite infringement is intended. This fanfic is purely for entertainment.


	9. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today's update is early. Guess why! I'm going to my first comic con! I'm sooooooooooooooo excited I can't stand it!!!!! I hope you enjoy today's update!

**Rey - Nine**

 

I don’t know how I got in my car.  One minute Ben is kissing me, while we’re dancing in the middle of his gorgeous condo.  The next minute, I’m running away from him.  He said he shouldn’t have kissed me, and he’s probably right. 

I mean, he’s a billionaire, his mom is a senator, and I’m nothing.  I’m no one, from nowhere.  It would never work between us.  We’re just different people, from different places, living different lives.

I have to circle the block, then circle the next block over before I find a parking spot anywhere near my apartment.  But I finally find one, and look around for Paige’s heels, only to realize I’ve left them at Ben’s.  _Damn._

I lean my head back against the cracked and torn leather seat, and try not to cry.  Everything was going so well.  Everything was perfect.  His skin is so damn soft, almost as soft as his hair.  I wonder what products he uses on it to get it that soft and full of body.  His lips were just as warm as I knew they’d be, and when he licked my lips I was afraid I might combust.

Then suddenly he pulled away.  And not only that, but he had to tell me how _wrong_ it was.  To me it was the most wonderful, amazing thing I’d ever felt.  _But not to him._   Not to Ben Solo.  “Selfish, self-centered, egotistical, billionaire asshole!” I yell, to no one.

But I know it’s not true.  He’s none of those things.  Well, that’s not exactly true either.  He is a billionaire.  Damn… Everything about tonight was perfect.  _He_ was perfect.  And I’ll probably never see him again.

I make my way home, and find Finn and Rose on the couch, curled up around each other watching the telly.  I sit down at the end of it, and in unison they raise their feet and replace them on my lap.

“How was the date?” Rose asks, without sitting up.  I mean, I was out with Ben Solo!  She could be more excited about it.  But…

“It wasn’t a date, mind you.  We met for coffee, and I showed him my presentation.”  I place my elbow on the arm of the couch, and begin to bite at my bottom lip.  It was so much more than that, to me anyway.  But not to him.  When I told him I felt it too, maybe I was wrong.  Maybe he didn’t feel it at all.  Maybe he doesn’t feel _anything_ at all.

“You’ve been gone almost six hours.  That coffee must have been really good,” Finn teases. 

Rose gazes over at me, with an inquisitive look.  “Not now, Finn.”

“We went to the MechE building after that.  I showed him my engine,” I explain.

“Ummhmm.  Did he show you about heat transfer?  Maybe lubrication?”  I know this is just the way Finn is, he likes to joke.  But I can’t handle that right now, not after what happened earlier.

“There was none of that,” I exclaim.  I throw their feet off, and stand up to stomp toward my room.

“Paige has a guy in there,” Rose calls out, right before I reach my bedroom door.

Great!  As if this night couldn’t get any worse!  I stare at the front door, wondering if I should just go back to my car and sleep there tonight.

“Our show’s over.  We’ve just been sitting out here waiting for you to come home,” Rose tells me as she gets up too.

“Yea, we just wanted to find out how you got along with the billionaire.  But I can see it didn’t go good.”  Finn walks by me and musses my hair.  But I’m not in the mood, so I pull away and slump down on the couch.  “Sorry, Rey.  We had high hopes for you.”

“Finn was already picking out baby names.”  I know she’s just giving Finn a hard time, but that’s not what I need right now.  She hugs me from behind, and although she’s smaller than me she grabs hold tight and doesn’t let go until I wrap my arms around hers to return the hug.  “Sorry, Sunshine.”

“Thanks,” I say, and pat her hand.  She finally releases me and takes Finn’s hand.

“Goodnight,” Finn says, before they disappear into their room.

I slump down onto the couch, and throw a blanket over myself.  Just as I pick up the remote, my phone chimes.  I find a text from a number I’m not familiar with.  It doesn’t even have a Cambridge area code.  Maybe it’s Ben, although I don’t know how he would have got this phone number.  Still, I open it, hoping it might be.

 

_Rey, it’s Ben.  I understand why you ran the way you did.  I promised not to take advantage of you if you came upstairs with me, and the first thing I did was try to manhandle you.  For that I am truly sorry.  I do hope that you will want to see me again tomorrow.  I don’t know how early first thing is to you, but I normally wake up at six so anytime after that is fine.  If you want to see me.  I’ll take you for breakfast, of course.  And after you fix Dr. Kanata’s son’s car, we can look for a nice new SUV.  I’ve made an appointment with a dealer at four.  Will that be enough time to install a headlight?  If you don’t want to see me again, let me know.  I do sincerely apologize.  I will not try to kiss you again.  Signed, Ben._

 

So _that’s_ why he thought it was wrong?  I bite my bottom lip and sigh, allowing myself to think about Ben’s tongue there.  The way he made me feel shocked me, yes.  I wanted to grab his hand and lead him to his bedroom, and beg him to undress so I could see all the muscles I felt while he was holding me.  How in the hell does he hide it all in those uptight looking suits?  He’s so strong too.  He picked me up like a doll, like I don’t weigh anything.  And when I felt what is between his legs, it scared me but not in a bad way.  It scared me because it felt so damn big, and heavy. 

And he was afraid I’d be upset by it?  The only reason I was upset was because I was afraid _he_ didn’t want _me_.

Now that I know he does, and he still wants to see me, I feel excited again.  I feel hopeful.  Everything is going to be okay.  With that thought, I begin to compose my response to his text. 

 

 _Thank you for messaging me.  I was afraid I’d done something wrong._ You _didn’t do anything wrong.  It was…_

 

How do I say how it made me feel?  Sexy as hell?  The most amazingly overwhelming feeling I’ve ever felt?  My stomach is still doing flips, and my privates tingle just from the memory.  I pull my legs together, and I feel my muscles clench.  It stuns me, but it feels oh, so good.  I can’t imagine how it will feel when Ben touches me. 

“Holy shit, Rey!  You won’t believe what just happened!” Rose bellows, as she stomps into the living room so loud I’m sure the neighbors have heard her.

“What!?  Nothing happened!”  I blurt out.  My eyes grow wide, worried that somehow she knew what had just happened inside me. 

“I had the website set to notify me if someone bid.  Finn and I were watching…” she pauses, and looks away, “A video, and I got a notification!  Guess what!”

“What?” I exclaim, and jump up off the couch.  She’s carrying her laptop toward me, and I try to look. 

“Wait,” she mutters, still pushing the touchpad as she cries out, “Stop! Stop!”

I sit back down, but I’m watching her every move.  Is she fucking with me?  Maybe she’s wrong.  No one bid for three days, and suddenly now there’s a bid?

She sits beside me, thrusts the screen in front of my face, and my jaw drops.  “Holy shit!” I exclaim, as I see the number on the screen. 

$260,000

“Oh, my God!  That’s amazing!”  I jump, and reach out to hug Rose, and she’s trying to hold on to her computer to keep it from falling, and I’m just… astonished.

“You won’t have to worry about student loans now,” she assures me.

“Thank you,” I say, and kiss her cheek gently.

“What the fuck is going on?” Paige asks.  We glance back just in time to see her latest friend try to escape without being seen. 

“Rey got a bid!” Rose replies excitedly. 

“That’s great.  You scared the shit out of Tony for that?” she grouches, and slams the door.  Rose hurries off to yell at her sister.

Guess I’ll be sleeping here tonight anyway. 

So, if I go ahead with this, I can just hang out with Ben, and not worry about the funding for the engine.  On the other hand, I won’t be a virgin when Ben and I do it.

 _If we do it_.  What if we only hang out for the weekend, and he goes back to New Hampshire and forgets about me?  Oh, my God!  What if I gave him my _virginity_ and he left without another word?  Then I wouldn’t have any money, and nothing to sell.

I have to go forward with it.  If Ben likes me he won’t care that I’m not a virgin.  I don’t even know for sure if he likes me.  Yes, I can do this.  I _should_ do it.  I have to think about my future.  Changing the world comes with sacrifices, and I’ll just have to sacrifice my virginity.  Yes.  I’ll do it.

That’s when I remember my unfinished text to Ben.

 

 _Thank you for messaging me.  I was afraid I’d done something wrong._ You _didn’t do anything wrong.  It_ _was nice kissing you.  I liked it.  I’ll see you in the morning, at eight?  I have some good news to tell you._

I hit send, and curl up in the blanket.  But I don’t feel the tingles again.  I just feel kind of numb, like I did before I met Ben.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in this chapter we see a return to common sense - and the plot. I guess that's what happens when the hormones aren't raging because the hottest (and most awkward) guy you've ever seen is trying his hardest to actually --- what is Ben trying to do, anyway? Thanks for sticking with me! 236 Kudos? I'm clapping! I wish you could see me, I'm so excited! - Or maybe that's just the comic con thing. Either way, THANK YOU!


	10. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had fun at the comic con. Seeing so many girls and young women dressed up like Rey really, really made me happy. (One girl was dressed as Esmeralda from Hunchback, but that's another story lol) I read over this chapter again before adding it, and I hope I'm conveying what I'm trying to say. Ben is nervous, and trying to figure out why such a hot girl wants him.

**Ben - Ten**

 

I hear the knock on the door, and I have to stop myself from running toward it.  I’ve been awake since six, as I normally am.  I fixed my coffee, drank it while I watched the sunrise over the river, then I worked out in the spare bedroom I converted into a gym.

And before I got in the shower, while I was still breathing heavy from my workout, I pulled up daisyauction.com, to see if anyone else had bid.  I had to burn off some of my anxious energy before I looked, just so that I could be mentally prepared.  Overnight, the bidding had climbed to $400,000.  I sighed loudly, and tamped down the urge to pound my fist into my brand new tablet.  I put in a bid for half a million dollars, before I got in the shower.  It doesn’t matter how high the bidding goes.  I’ll sell every last possession I own if I have to, just to win.

Now that she’s here, I’m a little calmer.  Not calm really, but better than I was last night.  I think I spent an hour in the gym after she left.  I was so sure she’d never speak to me again.  The funding for her engine weighed heavy on my thoughts too.  What if she’s only hanging out with me for the money?  That would crush me.  So I came up with the idea of bidding for her virginity.  It’s the only way to know if she’s really interested in me or my money.

Then, I got her text letting me know that she wasn’t mad.  That helped calm me down more than the run on the treadmill.  And now I’m as prepared as I can possibly be to visit whatever junkyard I have to, and help her fix whatever car I need to, just to spend time with her.  I’m wearing jeans and a sweater, and tennis shoes even.  I wonder if she’ll notice.

I open the door, and she’s there in jeans and a hoodie that look like she drug _them_ out of a junkyard.  Her hair is pulled back from her face, which has not a single speck of makeup on it.  And somehow she looks even more beautiful than she did last night.

“Hi.  Good morning.  Come in,” I say, like a moron.  When she walks past me into my home, and I close the door, I shake my head at myself.  At least my voice didn’t crack.

“Paige’s shoes are still here!” she says.  “Of course they are.  You weren’t going to toss them out or anything, were you?”

“No, of course not,” I reply. 

I watch her as she walks toward the balcony again.  It is the focal point of the condo, so I understand the attraction, but it gives me the chance to stare at her legs in the skin tight jeans.  She doesn’t seem as bouncy as she was yesterday.  Something’s different.  The auction?

“Do I smell coffee?  I really need a cup this morning, if you don’t mind.  I ended up sleeping on the couch again last night.”  She glances at me, and I nod.  Whatever she wants is fine with me.  She can take anything, the coffee, my heart, anything she wants.  “My roommate, Paige, does not have any consideration for my back.  She must think I like sleeping on the couch, as often as she…”

She turns to glance at me again when she’s in the kitchen, and I hurry after her to grab a mug from a top shelf.  While she’s pouring the coffee, I grab the powered creamer and sugar out of the pantry.  I’m stunned by how even the most mundane task, if done for her, feels like a privilege.  She smiles at me and says, “Thank you,” very sweetly, before taking a sip and nodding her approval.

I lean casually against the counter, and try not to ogle her.  But I can’t help it, my eyes are just magnetically drawn to her slim hips in the jeans, which have a frayed spot just below the back pocket on the left side. 

“So, I have good news,” she states, and gazes into her coffee cup.  Before I can ask what it is, even though I already have a guess, she continues, “I have another investor interested in my business plan.”

“I see.”  My hands curl around the edge of the counter, and I’m sure if it wasn’t granite it would crumble from how tightly I’m gripping it.  I’m literally afraid of what she might say next. 

“No, it’s a good thing.  You don’t have to worry about providing money for the startup.”  She chews at her bottom lip, and tries to catch my gaze.  I’m staring at the coffee maker only to avoid her eyes.  “I’ll be able to work on my engine, and maybe even change the world!” 

She’s not as happy as she wants me to believe.  Her eyes don’t shine.  Her dimples don’t show.  She’s lost some of her sparkle.

“Why don’t you want my money, Rey?”  I’m still hanging on to the counter top like it’s an anchor.  She doesn’t seem to notice, thank God.  She’s too preoccupied.  With the auction?  Is she having second thoughts?

“I had a feeling yesterday, when we were at the lab.  It felt like you were only there because you felt some kind of obligation, because you offered to look at my business plan.”

“No,” I start to argue, but she continues anyway.

“I felt like it was hanging over us, over me anyway.  I don’t want it to be between us, if that makes sense.”  She’s looking at my shoes, as if they don’t make sense.  I try not to smile.  “So I want to just tell you now, I don’t want your money.  And it’s your decision if you want to hang out with me or not.”

“And you’ll still teach me how to drive?  We’ll still look for a car?”  I take a deep breath and hold it in.  I can’t let her keep driving around in that accident waiting to happen.  I know she has faith in her abilities, but the car is older than I am. 

“Of course, if that’s what you want.  And we’ll park the car here, for when you come and want me to teach you.”  She says it with a little more cheer.  Her eyes search for mine again, and I return her gaze.  Apparently she finds what she wants in them.  She nods, and takes another sip of her drink.  Things are going the way she wanted them to.

I release the breath I’ve been holding.  “You can drive it while I’m out of town.  It would be okay with me.”

“No, I don’t think…” she mutters.

“Just test drive it at least?”  She smiles and nods, and I release my anchor.  “Are you ready for breakfast?” I ask, as I take a step closer to her.  I swore to myself I wouldn’t touch her, wouldn’t pressure her.  I place my hands on the countertop of the island in the middle of the kitchen, where she’s stationed herself.  I don’t touch her, but my hands are near hers.  She can touch me, if she wants.  I would never say no to her.

 

*****

 

“No, absolutely not,” I say, as I stare at the open gate of the junkyard.  There’s a huge dog barking and lunging, while looking at us.  It’s chained up, but that doesn’t mean I want to walk near it. 

“It’s okay, really.  R2 won’t hurt you, I promise,” she assures me with her words, at the same time she closes the gap between us, her hand brushing against mine.  “It’s fine, Ben.  She just doesn’t like people being outside the gate.  Once we’re in, she’ll stop barking.”

I told myself I wouldn’t make the first move, but she did brush her hand against mine.  So I grab hers and hold on to it.  She takes two steps toward the gate, and the bond between our hands is causing our arms to stretch. 

“Come on,” she commands.  She doesn’t take another step, but she tugs on my hand.  I notice the sunlight in her buns, and the way she crinkles her eyes to look back at me.  She is adorable, and fearless.

I’m in so much trouble. 

I walk with her, past the dog that looks like it could eat me and her and still need a snack.  She was right, as soon as we enter the gate R2 settles down a little.  “It’s just me, R2,” she calls out to the dog.  “I brought a friend, but he’s okay.”

The dog gives two sharp barks, almost as if it answers her.

“Yes, he’s okay.  I promise,” she says.  The dog answers her again, then retreats toward its house.

“Hello Rey!” a man’s voice calls out. 

“Yoda!” she yells, and drags me to the left, down a row of cars on top of cars that looks like they might topple at the slightest breeze.  “Where is C3?” she asks, and looks behind us.

“He’s at the office, under a blanket.  I don’t think he’s feeling well today,” the voice replies, closer now.

We get to the end of the row, and Rey turns right.  Standing there is the shortest man I’ve ever seen.  He has a long shock of white hair which stands out from his head, and he has wrinkles on his forehead.  Beside him is a wooden cane nearly as tall as he is.

“Brought a new friend, have you Rey?” he asks.  He has wide eyes, a tiny little nose, and speaks with a heavy New York accent.

“Yoda, this is Ben.  Ben, Yoda owns this lovely yard full of hidden treasure.”  She beams at him.  He extends his hand to me, and I have to bend over to take it and shake it. 

“Optimistic, she is,” Yoda says to me, and looks me over from top to bottom before releasing my hand.  “You are a tall one.”

I nod.  I’m usually uncomfortable with people pointing it out, but Rey looks up at me proudly, and I stand up a little straighter.

“The Jaguar is there,” Yoda points out.  And before Rey can say anything he climbs up over one car to another, pulls a screwdriver out of an inside pocket of his long coat, and begins to remove the hood ornament.

“He does this a lot,” she tells me, smiling the entire time.  Yoda jumps down and presents her with the small metal cat.  Her grin becomes brighter, her dimples appearing.  “Thank you so much!”

“The car you asked about is near the office.  I’ll meet you two there,” he calls out over his shoulder, and disappears through a small hole between two stacks of cars.

She places the ornament in the pocket of her hoodie, and grabs for my hand again.  “Thank you for joining me,” she mutters, and bounds back the way she came in with me in tow. 

It’s nice to see her bounce is back.  Her buns even shake with her gait.  Rey is incredible. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And of course he goes about it the wrong way. Poor Ben, he has no idea what's going on. He's so confused about all this girl stuff.


	11. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! And also, I noticed that the last chapter was Ben as well, but I tried to write the chapter from Rey's pov, and it didn't make as much sense. This is Ben Solo, standing up for his woman. Ben will not allow anyone to disrespect Rey!

**Ben- Eleven**

 

“Would you like a bottle of water, Mr. Solo?” a female voice asks, and I shake my head.  I haven’t torn my eyes away from Rey the entire day.  I don’t even know what the woman who approached me looks like, or what she’s wearing.  All I see is Rey.

While we were at the restaurant for lunch, I held the door for her and pulled her chair out.  While we fixed the car, I carried her tools and gathered whatever she needed.  And now, while we’re trying to pick out a car, I’m deferring to her decision because she knows more about the subject than I do.  I have tried my hardest to be the best date I could possibly be.  And I think it’s working.  Her eyes grow wide as she takes in the vehicles, and she gives me a dazzling smile.  Maybe I can convince her to keep the car while I’m not in town.

“What does it top out at?” she asks, as she gazes at the Jaguar SUV.  It’s nice enough, really, sleek looking with a moon roof.  But her eyes keep straying back to the convertible that is sitting in the showroom with it. 

“The speedometer says 135,” the salesman replies.  He’s hovering at her right elbow, but he seems a bit bored.  I thought a salesman would relish the idea of speaking to someone who actually understands how the car works. 

“What is the MPG?” she asks, as her fingers slide over the front to touch the emblem on the grill.  I watch as her hand goes to the pocket of her hoodie.  No one else knows what’s in her pocket, except me.  It’s the jaguar that her friend Yoda gave her.

“You should get about 27 on the highway,” the man replies.  Then the man approaches me, and as he walks past Rey he glances at her clothes, her inexpensive shoes, and the grease on her jeans.  Then he has the nerve to ask, “What do you think, Mr. Solo?”

I turn away from him pointedly, to look at Rey.  She’s again glancing at the sharp looking convertible.  When she sees that I catch her lusting after the car, her face turns blood red.  “I think that there are two other Jaguar dealers in the Boston area, and if you would rather us take our business to one of those, it can be arranged.”

Her eyes go wide again, and her jaw goes slack just before she hides her beautiful mouth behind her hand. 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Solo.  Have I offended you?” he asks.  “Would you like a drink, a cup of coffee?”

“You have offended me by not paying more attention to the woman who will actually be deciding which car we purchase.  She is a mechanical engineering student.  I don’t even drive.  If you would like to sell a car, you must sell it to her.”  My voice is even, low.  I am not trying to be confrontational.  I am merely trying to get my point across. 

I see Rey’s shoulders shake, as if she’s stifling a giggle behind her hand.  When she moves her hand away, her dimples are prominent and her lips are the prettiest pink I’ve ever seen.  She is perfection, even in her grimy clothes.  I’m frustrated that the man in the suit doesn’t see it too.

“I’m sorry that I offended you, Mrs. Solo,” he exclaims, and returns to her side. "How can I make it up to you?"

She looks embarrassed, and opens her mouth as if to correct him, but I shake my head, and fight a smile of my own.  “Oh, we aren’t married yet.  This is my pre-engagement present.  We’ve picked out the ring, but the jeweler didn’t have the six carat heart shaped diamond, and my honeysop had to order it.  He’s the best, isn’t he?” she says with a stunning smile. 

The word _honeysop_ throws me, for only a moment.  What does that even mean?  I make a mental note to Google it later.  “Do you want to buy the car here, love dove, or would you like to go look at the BMWs?”

Her eyes go back to the racy little sports car.  “I’m not sure, flittermouse.  The BMW i8 does 0-60 in 4.2 seconds, and it’s a hybrid.”  She’s looking at me the entire time.  I’m fairly sure she’s making up words now.

“But the i8 is almost $150,000,” the salesman counters. 

“I wonder if they take checks,” I mutter, and reach my hand out to Rey.  I told myself that I would not try to touch her, but this is theatrics, right? 

She rushes toward me, and immediately weaves her tiny fingers between mine.  Then she pulls at my hand, tips her head back, and puckers her lips up.  My heart stops at the thought of her allowing me to kiss her, no, insisting I kiss her, while people are watching.  But I don’t care.  I do it.  Am I going to say no when she’s staring at me like that?  I lean forward, press my lips to hers, and everything else melts away.  Her hand moves out and touches my neck, right under my ear.  My body reacts immediately, my penis jerking to life.

“Would you like to test drive the F type, Mr. errr _Mrs._ Solo?” the salesman asks as he hurriedly moves in front of us to block our exit.  As if I’m going to go anywhere while I’m kissing her.

She gently moves her fingers away from my skin to touch my shoulder, right before she pulls her lips away from mine. 

“I’m not sure.  Would you, dearie?”  She shrugs, and her tone is nonchalant, but I can see in her eyes she’s dying to.

“Whatever you want, my love,” I reply.  Does she know I’m not pretending?  I would give her whatever she wanted.  I’d write the check right now if it would make her smile.

“We have the convertible sitting out by the doors, waiting for you to slide into the driver’s seat,” he continues.

“Well, if you insist,” she replies with a wide smile. 

As she exits with the salesman who I’m sure will treat her much better now, I call out, “Where is the manager?”

“I’m the manager,” a male voice says from behind me. 

“I want the convertible, the most expensive package and fastest model you have, delivered to this address.”  I pull the card out of my pocket, which I’d prepared with Rey’s address specifically for this moment.  “We’ll drive the SUV out.  And I’d like to arrange for my fiancée’s car to be transported to that address as well.  I’m sure you have some kind of…”

“Come on, Ben,” she opens the door to call out to me.

“Do the math and I’ll write the check when we return.”  I don’t even look at him as I say it. 

“Yes, Mr. Solo,” he says, and moves to shake my hand. 

I ignore it, and hurry toward Rey.  “Coming, darling!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the chapter is late. I've had a sinus thing where I haven't wanted to sit upright for the past two days, and of course the comic con on Saturday. I thought I'd have all day Sunday to write, but it didn't work out that way. Hopefully I'll have all this week to do nothing but write. I'm excited!
> 
> And also, I'm sorry if I offend any Jaguar salesmen, or BMW salesmen. I chose Jaguar because it is a very British car, and Rey grew up in England. No offense intended!


	12. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let me start by apologizing. I missed yesterday, I know. And tonight is late. I am sooooo sorry. Also, I apologize for the chapter. I'm sorry.

**Rey - Twelve**

 

“No, Ben, it’s not a standard.  You don’t need to drive with both feet,” I say, as he again slams on the brake while revving the engine.  I shudder again, thinking of the effect it’s going to have on his brand new car.  We should definitely have found a used car for this, something that didn’t cost as much as most people make in four years.

“I’m trying!  I’m trying!” he exclaims.  It jars me how loud his usually soft, silken, caressing voice can get when he’s annoyed.  “I’m just…”

He tries to throw the car into park without stepping on the brake.  “Ben, you have to…”

“The brake, I know!” he yells, and again hits the brake while revving the engine.  He slams both hands against the steering wheel, and I think I see the metal give a little.  Damn, he’s strong.  He finally gets the car in park, and when he does he immediately opens the door and jumps out as if it’s on fire, leaving the door wide open and the engine running.

I touch the button to turn it off, and climb out too.  We’re in the MechE parking lot, which is abandoned this late on a Sunday evening.  He’s already walked about five meters from the car, with his long strides.  He’s so damn tall, every inch of his long and…  I stop at the memory of last night, and the thought of his body against mine.  He was rock hard, all male, and so fucking sexy.  And then he just froze up.  Like now.

“Ben,” I call out, when I’m about a meter away from him.  He flinches visibly, and starts walking toward the street.  I’m sure he could walk to his condo in no time, because of his long, long legs.  “Ben!”

“I’m useless!” he shouts.  “I’m totally fucking useless!”

Even I can realize this isn’t about driving at all.

“Ben!”  I finally catch up to him as he’s kicking at rocks on the pavement and screaming obscenities like a mad man.  “Ben, you are not useless!”  He looks at me, and there’s a jumble of emotions in his gorgeous dark eyes.  I can see he doesn’t believe me.  So I continue.  “Sometimes smart people don’t know everything, and that’s okay.  I don’t know how to swim.”

“Not knowing how to swim is not the same as not,” he begins to kick again, but he’s really kicking at nothing, “knowing how to _drive_!”

“No, you’re right.  If I fell into a pool I could drown.  You could walk back to your condo without any problem.  You can take a bus, or a taxi, or a subway, or a bike for fuck’s sake!” 

He exhales a loud, ragged breath.  His eyes shred my heart, how expressive they are.  It’s too much.  I want to run to him, jump up his lean muscular frame, and kiss him until both of us fall.

“Did you know my father, Han Solo, raced cars in the 80’s?”  He’s so angry, every syllable comes out in a clipped, staccato tone.  He’s waving his hands around, and pointing at the expensive car he just bought as if it’s the root of all evil.

“No, I didn’t know,” I admit.  I begin to search my mental data banks, but I can’t find anything about his father except for pictures in front of expensive cars with hot women who are not Ben’s mother.  No, wait, there are pictures of him with a cigar, and also hot women who are not Ben’s mother.  When I first realized Ben Solo was interested in my engine I of course knew of his mother, who doesn’t?  But his father was a little less conspicuous.  I mean, I knew his father was Han Solo, but I didn’t really know what he _did_.

“Yea, but he didn’t teach his only son how to drive a fucking car!”  He’s still staring at the expensive Jaguar like it’s the bane of his existence.  And, of course, he heads straight for it.  The next thing I know, he’s kicking the car’s tires.  Like _that’s_ going to hurt it?  He’ll probably break his foot.  “He couldn’t stay in one place long enough to teach me anything!  He is always out trying to find his fortune.  I think he’s jealous of my mother.  She has always been so stable.  And he’s…”  And then he gives up and starts screaming at the sky. 

Eventually he gives up on screaming, and slides down onto the pavement.  I bend at my knees, and squat down in front of him.  He wraps his arms around his shins, and buries his face in his knees.  I’m sure he’s embarrassed by his tantrum.  But he shouldn’t be.  I’ve thrown my tantrums too.

“Ben, don’t take your anger out on the car.”  I reach for him, but he pulls away.  “I understand.  I was abandoned too.  I know what it’s like to miss your parents.  But it’s not the car’s fault.”

He wipes his face against his jeans, then looks up at me through teary eyelashes.  I swear, his eyes are the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. 

“I’ve been there too, Ben.  I’ve screamed into my pillow more than once.  I’ve cried myself to sleep.  I’ve wondered where my parents are, and why they didn’t want me.  But you should know, it’s not your fault.  You’ve worked to create something that is used by billions of people all around the world.  You’ve helped so many people, employed people desperate for jobs while helping others get to their jobs.  Ben, you can do anything, even learn how to drive a car.  Don’t give up.”

Yes, I pieced together pep talks that I’ve received from Yoda and Chewie, and Rose and Finn, and added in some of my own.  Yes, I gave him platitudes, and no I’m not sorry.  I reach out to him and place my hand on his elbow.  He doesn’t pull away this time.  He lays his cheek against my fingers, and closes his eyes again.  The fingers of my other hand reach out for his hair.  It’s just so pretty, and soft, and fluffy.  I can’t resist. 

His eyes pop open, and he stares at me as I run my fingers through his dark waves.  When I find my tongue, my voice comes out darker and deeper than normal.  There’s no question why, he makes me feel things I’ve never felt before, things I’ve never wanted to feel before.  I want to taste his lips, and kiss the tears away.  I want to test the softness of his skin, and let my fingers get lost in the thick silkiness of his hair.  I want him.  Damn, I want him so much.  But that’s not what I say.

“If you need to take a break, I can drive you back to your condo.”  And put on some music, so I can tempt him to dance with me again.  And maybe kiss him again.

“No.  You’re right.  I can do this.  I’m not going to let my father’s weakness define me.  I will get in the car, and I will learn to drive it.”  He looks as determined as he sounds.  It’s so different from the frustration I saw earlier.  He stands up, and reaches his hand down to me.  Damn, he’s tall.  I stare up at him for several moments, just taking him in.  He’s so beautiful, majestic really.  With him reaching out to me like that, like he _needs_ me, it makes me want to give him whatever he wants.  Anything he wants.

I nod, and take his hand.  “Yes, Ben.”  It doesn’t matter what he’s asking, I’m saying yes in this moment.  But when I see him climb into the driver’s seat, I remember exactly what he needs.  “Just use your right foot.  Put it in reverse, take your foot off the brake pedal, and gently, gently push the gas pedal.”

“Okay, I can do this,” he says.  He touches the start button, and I hold my breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Ben. We all know, though, that if anyone can understand his anger and frustration, it's Rey. We can only hope she's strong enough for both of them.
> 
> 308 kudos!?!?!?!?! I AM SHOCKED! That is crazy! Again, thank you for the kudos, the comments, and just for reading. THANK YOU!


	13. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My birthday was Thursday, and I had adult stuff to do. Boooo. So I had my birthday Friday, and although i wrote some I didn't get the chapter finished like I thought I would. So, here it is. We get to see inside Ben's head now. Even this Ben is touched by darkness.

**Ben - Thirteen**

 

I can’t believe I drove back to the condo.  I mean, it’s less than a mile and as she ineloquently put it I could have walked just as easily.  But I didn’t walk.  I _drove_.  For the first time in my life I realize the freedom that comes with the idea that you can get in your car and go anywhere you want to, whenever you want to.  I understand how a heated leather seat can feel so warm on a cool winter night in Cambridge.  I know how it feels to take control of a powerful machine, without fear or anxiety. 

But the best part is that it finally happened because of the beautiful, dazzling woman who is sitting beside me, who didn’t freak out when I threw a tantrum like most women do.  I’m an asshole, I know that.  I’m awkward, and I haven’t learned how to handle my emotions.  I’ve never had more than one date, or two at the most with any girl, and I know it’s my fault.  But Rey was patient, and she talked me down. 

“Rey, I…” I begin to form my apology for my stupid breakdown.

She stuns me by reaching over and wrapping her arms around my neck.  Then she kisses my cheek, right before she whispers, “Congratulations, Mr. Solo.  How does it feel to drive a car?”

I turn to face her, and she’s beaming.  She seems so proud, and happy.  I’ve never had anyone look at me the way she is.  The look and the kiss give me the courage to say what I’m thinking.  “It felt great.  But the kiss felt even better.”

Her smile changes, it becomes softer, warmer.  Her hazel eyes move from my eyes to my lips, and back again.  Then she leans forward slowly, and kisses my lips.  I hold my breath, and it feels like a fire has ignited in my chest.  She pulls me closer, and her fingers find their way into my hair again.  It’s the most incredible feeling I’ve ever felt.  Before she can change her mind and pull away, I get even bolder.  We’re sitting in a car with the center console between us.  I can’t pull her into my body and rub myself all over her like an animal.  So I do what I’ve thought about doing since yesterday, and let my tongue escape to taste her lips.  She gives me a little gasp, and it’s like the sound fans the flames.  After several moments of this, of her making little noises that sounds like she actually likes it, she opens her mouth for me. 

I feel like my entire body is going to explode from that action.  Until she moans, and sucks my tongue lightly, and I really feel like I’m going to combust.  I let her do it, because I damn sure don’t know what I’m doing.  I don’t have any idea where to put my hands, but she doesn’t seem to have any problem figuring it out.  Her nails scratch my scalp and my neck, while her fingers tug at my hair. 

It feels so damn amazing, and yet so strange at the same time.  I don’t feel like I _should_ feel this good.  Then, she releases my tongue, and murmurs against my lips, “Do you want to go upstairs?”

Wow.  Oh wow.  She wants to come up to my condo?  What do I say?  Of course I want her to.  But I’m almost afraid of what might happen.  I want to kiss her, but what if I screw up again?  What if I try to go too far and make her angry?  Or more likely, what if I embarrass myself again? 

“I… um… I mean…”  Her expression goes from extremely happy and flirty, to sad and confused.  The last thing I want is for her to be sad.  I’d rather risk embarrassment than make her unhappy.  “Yes, of course.  Please come upstairs with me.  I have tea bags, and Netflix, and…  Whatever you want, Rey.  Are you hungry?  We can order something to be delivered.”

Her grin becomes wide again.  I guess I said the right thing.  “Oh, um… when are you going back to New Hampshire?” she asks.  Then she looks down at her wrist, at the watch that must be as old as her car, noticing that it’s almost nine o’clock.  “I was having so much fun I didn’t realize what time it is, and I have class in the morning.”

She was having fun with me?  That just doesn’t seem right.  I don’t have fun.  I’m not a fun person.  I’ve always been very serious, too serious even as a child.  And as an adult I’ve taken on a burden of helping others while surrounding myself in the darkest part of the human nature.  It’s made me even harder, more serious.  It’s made me feel older than my time. 

“I planned to go back to New Hampshire on Tuesday, or Wednesday.”  I didn’t really know when I’d go back.  I thought she’d meet me on Saturday, and never want to see me again like most women.

But of course she needed money.  She had to act like she wanted to be around me.  Now though, with the auction creating another source of income, she still wants to see me.  I don’t think the money is an issue now.  I just want her to be happy.  So when she says she has class, I don’t want to keep her.

“You know, maybe I can just have a cup of tea.”  She still holds me.  Her pretty face is so close to mine.  Her fingers comb my hair back away from my face, and I’m afraid she’ll see my huge ears.  But I can’t tell her to stop when she’s touching me like she really wants to.  This is what I didn’t realize I’ve missed out on all my life, and I had no idea it would be so addictive.  I don’t want her to stop touching me, ever.

“Your hair is so soft, and thick.  It’s so sexy, Ben.”  She practically purrs the words.  No one, not even me, would ever describe me as sexy.  I don’t believe her, and it must be obvious because I shake my head slightly.  Then she touches my face, and I realize what she’s doing.  I want to turn away from her, ashamed as I am of the marks that dot every inch of my face and body.  But she persists.  “I used to stare up at the stars when I lived in the RV, and your beauty marks remind me of them,” she says sweetly.

 _Beauty marks_?  She is very confused.  There’s nothing beautiful about my face.  “No, I’m not…”  I mumble.

“And your lips are so full and soft.”  Her voice is just above a whisper now.  It’s silky and soft, and drenched in that posh British accent that reminds me of the Spice Girls.  I am so captivated by her.  I knew when I saw her picture I would be, but getting to know her has just made me fall even harder, faster.  I have been taken and claimed by her, there’s no denying it.  Especially when the pad of her calloused thumb reaches out to caress the lips she had just commented on.

I’ve never felt such need, such _desire_ , for anything in my life.  Admittedly I’ve usually got what I wanted, except for where the fairer sex is concerned.  And now I’m here, with the only woman I’ve _really_ wanted this way, and she seems to want me too.

And I’m sitting here, without any damn idea what to do about it.  “Rey, I…”

“I don’t either, Ben.  I’m just doing what I want to do, touching places I want to touch.”  She grins, her beautiful cheeks turning a soft pink.  “And you’re letting me.”

So that’s how it happens?  It seems so simple.  Just finding some girl who wants me to touch her too?  And this magnificent girl seems to want to do it with me.  I can hardly believe it, but I have to try.  “Can I… I mean… Will you?”

“Yes, Ben.  You can touch me.  Just…”  Her expression changes and she seems to be thinking about what to say next.  “We should explore slowly, and upstairs on your couch.”

“Okay.  Let’s go.”  My voice comes out as something like a sigh.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can't look into darkness without it looking into you. And although Ben has volunteered to do the thankless job of stopping internet predators, it has to have touched him, changed him psychologically. He uses it to erect a barrier around himself, trying to protect his heart and mind from the outside world that he has seen can be hurtful.  
> Rey intends to melt his defenses with her patience, warmth, and sunny disposition.  
> Ben doesn't stand a chance.  
> 337 kudos! I can't hardly believe it! I can't thank you all enough! Also, I love your comments! Don't hesitate to say hello, and tell me what you like and don't like!


	14. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today I got to write all day! Yay! I also read some, and watched the finale of Star Wars Rebels. Life is as it should be.

**Rey - Fourteen**

 

“Do you take cream or sugar with your tea?” he asks, cordially. 

“Sugar, please,” I reply, and glance up at him.  That’s when I see that he’s changed clothes while the kettle was boiling.  He’s wearing black pants that are more causal than dress slacks but nicer than sweats, and a dark gray knit Henley long sleeve shirt.  He looks incredible, and very comfortable.  And he smells amazing.  I’m sure he put on deodorant and cologne that smells crisp and warm, and a bit citrusy.

He hands me a cup, and I take it with a grin.  “Beru makes the best tea.  She is so proud of it.  She made biscuits from scratch, and her scones melt in your mouth.” 

“Are you hungry?  We can have something delivered,” he offers again. 

I shake my head.  “Thanks, but the tea should hit the spot.  It’s already warming my hands.”

“Are you cold?  I can turn up the heat,” he suggests.

I wonder if I asked what time it was, if he’d offer to buy me a Rolex.  I wonder how he’s still single, with how considerate he is.  He is standing, hovering at the arm of the couch.  It’s his living room, he shouldn’t wait for me to ask him to sit.  But he does.  So I pat the leather cushion beside me, and he still waits a moment or two before he finally sits down right beside me. 

“I have a projector, and we can download whatever movie you want to watch.”  He’s staring at an empty wall across the room from us.  “I leave a wall blank to act as a screen.”

We finally have a chance to get to know a little more about each other, sitting here on his couch sipping tea.  “What kind of movies do you like?”

“Action, adventure, comedy, you know, whatever,” he replies.  Then he steals a glance at me, gauging how I’ll react to his answer.  It’s almost as if he’s afraid to say the wrong thing. 

“You don’t have to worry about giving the wrong answer with me, Ben.  I’m not going to judge you.”  I glance over at him again, and his hair is beckoning to me.  I know that’s where I want to warm my fingers, not with the cuppa. 

That’s when he bites at his lip, as if he’s unsure if he can trust me or not.  Then he smiles, and leans his face over the steaming drink.  “I love animated movies.  They’re funny, and sweet, and pure.  They’re so innocent, but they almost always tell a valuable lesson.”  He’s still avoiding my eyes, as if he’s unsure how I’ll react.  “And, I watched them a lot when I was a kid.  My parents used them as babysitters.  My mom was always working, even when she was at home.  My dad was rarely ever there.”

I feel like we just broke through a barrier.  I think maybe he’s told me more just now than he’s ever told anyone else.  And it feels amazing. 

“I missed out on that stuff, you know.  Living in a group home, we weren’t allowed to have anything that cost extra.  We had a telly, of course, but the older kids always chose what we watched, and the younger kids just had to deal with it.”  I’m still watching him out of the corner of my eye. 

He seems like he might want to say something, but he doesn’t.  He sits silently, thinking about it for several moments.  Until, finally… “Did anyone hurt you?  You know… touch you?”  He’s obviously uncomfortable asking it, but for whatever reason he wants to know.  Is he worried about me, my psychological well being?  Or does he get some cheap thrill out of…

His eyes find mine.  I’m immediately ashamed of my own thoughts.  Of course he isn’t _that_ type of guy.  I can see it in his deep, beautiful, emotional brown eyes.  He’s worried, and not just about me but about everyone and everything. 

“No, no one hurt me.  The older kids often did stuff they shouldn’t have, but never to me.   I don’t know why, either.  I never let myself be alone with any of them, ever.  I locked my bedroom door, and placed jams under them.  I fought for myself however I could, usually with my mind and my mechanical aptitude.”

It sounds simplistic to cut down eight years into a few short sentences.  There was so much more to it than just that.  I only had to be in the home for a few days to know that I didn’t want to fall victim to the older kids, but I don’t know why.  I was so young I have no idea how I knew to protect myself, but I did. 

“So, I have a favorite movie from when I was a kid.  I want to share it with you.  What do you think?”  He doesn’t give me time to think about it.  A light projects onto the wall, and with a few buttons on a remote a picture appears.  Suddenly I’m immersed in the ancient Middle East, watching a rendition of _Aladdin_.  It’s the story of a privileged child of rich parents falling in love with a poor street rat.  The idea that it hits a bit close to home isn’t lost on me. 

And, he’s right.  It’s magical, and sweet, and funny, and there’s so much music.  It doesn’t take long until Ben is signing along.  His voice is just as amazing while singing as it is while he’s speaking.  And it does things to my body, making the secret places tingle.  I wrap myself around him, my head lying against his shoulder and my arms around his waist, my legs curled up on the couch beside me. 

I’ve never felt safer, and more protected than I do at this moment.  I know in my heart that he will never hurt me, and he would never let anyone hurt me.  I have complete trust in him, and I think he must feel the same way if we’re cuddled up on his couch.  As we snuggle, the waist of his shirt inches up until several centimeters of his skin is exposed.  I see pale skin, defined muscles, and a dark line of hair that disappears into his waistband.  It would be a bold move to trace that line with my fingertips, but I want to so badly.

I tip my head up, and whisper at his jaw, “Ben.  Can I kiss you?”

I see him swallow, watch his Adam’s apple bob.  His arm, which has been resting on the back of the couch, wraps around me.  He begins to lightly caress my hand.  Then he looks down at me, his eyes so full of excitement mixed with hope, and maybe a little fear.  “You don’t have to ask.  You have my permission.” 

“I want you to warn me, before I’ve gone too far.  I want you to tell me if I’ve crossed a line.”  I feel like I need to say this.  Even though I trust him not to hurt me, I don’t want him to be put in an uncomfortable position.

“I will, I promise,” he mutters.  “And I want you to do the same.”

“Me?” I squeak, as I stare up at him.

“You don’t think you’re the only one who wants to experiment, do you?”  His normally deep voice is more rich, like dark syrup. 

Of course he wants to kiss me too.  But it’s scary as well as thrilling.  How far do I want him to go?  “Okay.  Red light and you stop?” 

“Red light,” he replies, with a smile and a nod.

And with the songs of _Aladdin_ playing in the background, we begin our game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slowly... Very slowly... 
> 
> Also, of course... ALADDIN! Ah... Ben Solo singing along to Aladdin while cuddling on the couch. If this wasn't fulfilling fantasy, I don't know what is.
> 
> 368 kudos? I'm soooo friggin excited! Thank you all soooo much for the comments and kudos!


	15. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got to write again today! Yay! But I have to go do adult stuff soon. Boo! But while I'm out, I'm buying the TLJ novelization. Yay!   
> So... have a chapter. You might not get another for a couple of days. And you might not need one if you're reading the novelization too.

**Ben - Fifteen**

 

“Take off your shirt,” she demands, first thing. 

That’s the last thing I was expecting to hear.  But I’m not going to tell her no.  So I hesitantly pull the shirt up over my head, and let it fall on the couch. 

Her eyes get wide and she gasps as she takes in my bare chest.  I mean, I know I work out a lot, to relieve the boredom and work off the stress.  Sometimes I just need an outlet, to escape all of the pain and anger I get when I’m…

I shake my head.  I can’t let that effect me when I’m with her.  She can’t know what I’ve seen, why I asked if she was hurt.  I know what happens to children, I know what lurks in people’s heads.  I’ve seen it.

How can I set that aside, and let myself just be a man with her? 

“ _I can show you the world, shining shimmering splendid…_ ”  The song is playing in the background, as her eyes find mine and she smiles.  Her cheeks dimple up, and her eyes get greener and sparkle.  Then she reaches out and touches the valley between my pecs.  My muscles flex involuntarily, and she jumps back.  Her eyes grow even wider, and she giggles. 

“Your chest is chiseled, Ben.  And your stomach is…”  Her hand moves down and stops at my navel, even though it looks like she doesn’t want to stop there. 

Her touch is making my dick hard, and I’m afraid it’s going to start poking out.  I should have thought of this.  I should have…

I hold my breath and stare at her face as her fingers touch the line of hair that starts at the bottom of my belly button.  “Ben, it’s so sexy.”  I place my hands on my thighs and spread my fingers out.  As I do, I shove against my penis with the heel of my palm.  _Go down.  Go down!_

“I’ve never seen so many muscles on a man’s abs.  And your skin is so pale.  It’s incredible, really.”

“I wear sunscreen.  I haven’t been outside shirtless in…”  I take a deep breath and shove the back of my head into the cushions of the couch.  Her fingers are tracing along the waistband of my twill joggers, and the pleasure of her skin on mine is overwhelming.

“But your body is gorgeous.  Like, I could tell you were built when you held me close last night, but I had no idea you’d look like a male model.  You’re…”

“Stop.  Stop!  Red light,” I exclaim, and try to move away from her.

She immediately pulls her hands away, and scoots to the other side of the couch.  Her cheeks are bright red, and her eyes are searching mine out.  “Ben, I’m sorry.  Did I touch you somewhere I shouldn’t have?”

I pull the shirt back over my chest, and jump off the couch.  I begin to pace, my heart rate is escalating, and I’m just so scared.

“I’m sorry.  This was a mistake,” I say, and walk toward the kitchen.

She crosses her arms in front of her protectively.  “Ben, what did I do?”  She says it loud enough that I hear her as I walk away.

I don’t expect her to follow after me.  I expect her to run like she did last night, after I made a fool of myself.  I grab a glass, fill it with water from my filtration system, and take a sip.  Then I sit it on the counter.  “So stupid.  So fucking stupid!”  I say to myself, as I slap my palm against my forehead.

“Ben!” she yells out from behind me. 

I immediately freeze, with my hand on my head.  This is even more embarrassing than her looking at me.

“Just leave, Rey,” I say, when I finally place my hand on the counter.  “Just go.”

“No, I will not.  Ben, tell me what I did wrong,” she pleads, and walks up to the counter and leans her hip against it, facing me. 

“You didn’t do anything,” I get out through gritted teeth.  “It’s what you said.”

She scoffs loudly.  I’m sure she looks stunned, not that I would dare look at her right now.  “What did I say wrong?” she demands.

I take a deep breath, and lean my head back so I’m staring at the ceiling.  Not at her, anywhere but her.  But it doesn’t help.  I’m so embarrassed I wish I could die.

“What did I say, Ben?”  Her voice is darker, but barely more than a whisper. 

“You don’t have to lie to me and say I’m attractive.  I know I’m not.”  There, I said it.  At least there’s one good thing about being this ashamed, my penis is completely soft.  “If we do this again, I want you to know you don’t have to make me feel better about myself by saying…”

“So you’re calling me a liar?”  Her voice is just as harsh and accusing as her words. 

“No, I would never,” I begin, but I still can’t look at her.  I place my fingers against my forehead and push.  I’m getting a headache.  I can’t handle this, her, people.  I can’t…

“But you did, you said I was lying,” she continues.

I ball up my fist, and place it against my mouth.  “I’m not gorgeous,” I mumble.

“I think I get to decide what I find attractive,” she asserts.  She pauses for a few moments, and takes a deep breath.  “If I didn’t find you attractive, why would I…”

“Money.”  The word comes out before I can catch it.

“Great.  Great!  So now I’m not just a liar, I’m manipulative.  Do you really think I’m a…”  She stops before anything else can come out. 

I can only imagine what she was going to say.  A _hooker_?  Isn’t she selling her virginity for money?  Isn’t that the same thing?  But I can’t say it out loud, because she doesn’t know that I know.

“That’s quite enough, Ben Solo.  I think I understand how you feel about me.”  With that, she walks off, but she stops at the doorway and says, “Look at me.”  I can’t.  I’m too ashamed of myself.  “I said look at me damn it!” she commands, loudly.

I turn to face her, and she exhales loudly.  I don’t know what she sees in my face, but it stops her.  Her eyes rake over my face, my body, all the way down and back up to my hair, before landing on my eyes.  Her pupils are dilated and her cheeks are flush.  She shakes her head, and licks her lips.  It might be the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.

“You’re every bit of six feet three inches of solid muscle.  You have long legs and big hands.  Your hair is perfect, and your skin is flawless.”  I open my mouth to correct her, but she doesn’t allow me to speak.  “You have beauty marks, but no zits or scars.  Your lips alone could inspire poetry, and your eyes could have painters creating masterpieces.  There’s only one thing wrong with you, Ben Solo.  You’re blind.”  I shake my head, but she continues.  “You must be blind, if you can’t see what I see.”

I just stare at her.  She’s mad, of course, about what I said.  And she should be.  I’m a moron.  I finally get the most beautiful woman in the world in my house, on my couch, _touching_ me, and of course I screw it up.  Of course I do. 

“I know you’ve been hurt before, Ben.  I can see it in your eyes.  But whatever it is, you have to let it go, or it’s going to destroy you.” 

I can’t say anything.  But I want to.  I want to tell her I didn’t mean it.  I want to say that I’m just confused, and self-conscious, and I have no idea why someone like her would want to even look my way without the incentive of my money.  But I can’t form the right words.  I’ve already screwed up.  Bad.  So bad I might not be able to fix it.

“Good bye Ben.  I really did like you.”  She says it as she turns round.  Then she stomps off, and slams my door behind her. 

I throw my head back, and scream.  “Fuuuuuuuuuuck!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Were you expecting a cute, fun make out sesh? If you were, you must not know Ben Solo. Of course, of course he would get in his own way. No one cock blocks Ben Solo better than Ben Solo.
> 
> 388 kudos?!?!?!? Get out! I'm almost as excited about that as I am about the novelization! Can you guys tell I'm excited!?


	16. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My time in the writing cave has not gone as planned. Still got a chapter finished, and might get another later! This one is dedicated to BunnyJonez! Maybe you'll get another later!

**Rey - Sixteen**

 

James Bay’s Wild Love is playing on the satellite radio as I’m driving back to the apartment.  I have no idea where my car is, and I still have one of the fobs for Ben’s new SUV, so I got in it and drove.  I’m just that damn pissed.  Not so pissed that I don't hear the lyrics to the song, and feel them reverberate inside me.  I want to give Ben that kind of love, even though I don’t know what to do with him.

I know he’s self-conscious.  He’s a thirty year old billionaire, and he’s still a virgin for fuck’s sake.  I know he has issues, even though I don’t know what they are.  But he doesn’t have to take them out on _me_.  I haven’t done anything to hurt him.  And I told him I didn’t need his money for my engine.  I told him his money didn’t matter to me.  And he still thinks that’s the entire reason I want to be with him.

Doesn’t he own a mirror?  Can’t he see how his pouty, pretty lips beg to be kissed?  Doesn’t he brush his thick, luxurious hair and see that it begs to have fingers tangled in it?  Doesn’t he know that his body is a temple, and more than anything I want to worship at it?

More than _anything_?  Well, after I get the money for my virginity. 

I finally find a place to park, and sit in the car for several moments, trying to gather my thoughts.  If I take the money for the auction, I won’t have to worry about my finances for years.  By then, I’ll probably have put the finishing touches on my engine.  I’ll be running my own engineering firm.  I’ll be in a position to revolutionize the automobile industry. 

If I sleep with Ben Solo, what will I have?  A bitter man who can’t see past his own nose, who thinks I’m not attracted to him and I only want him for his money.  How do I make him realize that I really do want him? 

And I need money too… But I have a plan for that.  A plan that means I won’t lose my virginity with Ben.  I mean, if I even want that after his antics tonight!  Maybe I don’t want that!  _That would show him_ , wouldn’t it? 

Wouldn’t it?

I step out of the car, and I immediately hear, “What the hell is that?”

I didn’t park the new SUV as close to the apartment as I usually do, hoping no one sees me.  But as luck would have it, Finn pulls in right in front of me. 

I wasn’t upset enough to forget Paige’s shoes, they were sitting right by the front door thankfully, and I grab them and my bag, and make sure the spanking new red SUV is locked before I turn toward Finn.

“It’s a 2018 Jaguar F-Pace SUV with a V6 engine, and…”

“I have eyes, Rey.  I can see what it is,” he says, as he caresses the driver’s side door like it’s a new lover.  “Why are _you_ driving it?”

“It’s Ben’s, and I took it,” I reply.  I jut my chin out for full effect, proudly displaying my own stubbornness.  “I’ll return it tomorrow, when I can easily grab a bus back to campus.”

Finn grins at me, and his dark eyes gleam with mischief.  “Let’s take it for a spin.”

Any other day I would consider it, getting in the car with Finn behind the wheel, and daring the machine to fly, testing its limits until we have to flee from blue lights and sirens, laughing the entire time.

“Not tonight,” I say, with a sigh.  It’s just all weighing too heavy on me, and I have absolutely no idea what to do about it.

“Want to talk?” Finn asks, as he takes my arm to escort me back to the apartment.

“With Rose,” I answer.  Then I see his expression fall, and he reluctantly nods.  “It’s just… It’s girl problems, Finn.  It’s easier to talk to a girl about that stuff.  You’ll always be my best mate.”  I give his arm a tight, reassuring squeeze, and scrunch my shoulder against his. 

“Maybe you need a man’s perspective, did you ever think of that?  Huh?” he argues.  And he’s right, I didn’t think of that.  Maybe he’s the perfect person to ask.

“He doesn’t think he’s attractive, Finn.  He thinks I’m a gold digger, that no one would want him for who he is.”  I feel like I’m betraying Ben by telling Finn his secret, but I obviously need help.

“He thinks Rey Jakku is a gold digger?”  Finn looks like he doesn’t know whether to laugh, or be angry.  “Where is that asshole?  I’m going to punch him in the face, then give him a piece of my mind.”

“This is why I didn’t want to tell you,” I counter.  “I don’t need you to threaten my first boyfriend with violence.”  Is Ben my boyfriend?  It’s reaching, but sure, we’ve had two dates.  Date-ish.  Okay, I _want_ Ben to be my boyfriend.  I fancy Ben Solo, isn’t that good enough?

Finn laughs at that.  “You knew it was bound to happen, when you eventually got a boyfriend.”  I lose the battle to fight back my own giggle.  “You like him, don’t you?”

I grin, and think of Ben shirtless.  He is so buff, I have no idea why he thinks he isn’t.  It’s utterly beyond belief.

“Your cheeks are pink.  You like Ben Solo!” Finn exclaims.

“I do, Finn.  I so do.  But I don’t know how to convince him that I like _him_ , and not his money.”  We’ve arrived at the apartment, and just as I’m about to unlock the door Rose throws it open.

“You’re not going to believe _this_!” she exclaims, and shoves her laptop in front of my face.

“Man with world’s longest penis refuses surgery…” I begin to read.

“No!  Not that!” Rose cries out, and immediately turns the screen toward her.  She pushes a few buttons, then shows it to me again.  “ _That_!”

“Holy shit!  Two million dollars?” I can barely hear my own voice over my heartbeat pounding in my ears. 

Finn reaches over to high five me.  Rose grabs me against her computer, and hugs me.  I go through the motions of celebration, but I don’t really feel like celebrating.  That’s the latest bid for my virginity.  Two million dollars.  Suddenly the money isn’t important.  My engine doesn’t seem as meaningful.  Suddenly everything else in my life melts away to nothing.  Why can I only think of Ben?

“You’re not excited.”  Of course Rose notices.  But I just shrug.

“Girl problems,” Finn states, as if he knows all about the subject.

“Someone finally has a crush!” Rose exclaims, even more excited than when she showed me the dollar value on the auction.

“She doesn’t know how to let him know she…” Finn explains. 

“I can tell her myself, Finn,” I interrupt.  I give him as much of a frown as I can manage, then turn to Rose.  “I don’t know how to let him know I really like him.”

Rose giggles, then steals a glance at Finn, who looks super serious about the entire conversation.  It’s so adorable that he’s this interested in my happiness.  He really is the best friend I could ever have.

“Well, that’s what Cosmo is for,” she tells me, before kissing Finn’s cheek.  Then she grabs my arm and leads me toward the couch, where we have most of our “family” interactions.

I smile as I think of it.  I have created my own family, with this group of people.  It makes me happy.

“Hey, wait!” Finn says, and slides over the couch until he’s sitting beside Rose.  “I need to see this too!  To make sure they’re right.”

“Grab the phone, and we’ll order pizza.  The millionaire is buying,” Rose teases, but she kisses my cheek to let me know how much she loves me.

It’s all going to work out.  It simply has to.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's important to me that this group of people Rey has chosen become her family. It's also important (to me) that we see them as who they are, young people trying to make their way in an ever evolving world.  
> This story has 408 kudos, and that faint sound you're hearing is me squealing with excitement. Thanks for all of your comments and kudos!


	17. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As promised, one more chapter before bed. I literally couldn't stop there. 
> 
> So, this one ends in an entirely different place!
> 
> Enjoy!

**Ben - Seventeen**

 

I should have already implemented the DOS attack.  I should have already taken down the website.  And yet I can’t stop looking at it.  I can’t stop bidding on it.  On _her_.  It’s so wrong, I know it is, but it’s like every time I get upset at myself for something stupid I’ve said, I’m compelled to bid. 

And someone with very deep pockets, and a lot of Bitcoins, keeps bidding against me.  No one is going to win this auction.  _No one but me_.  I watch as the other bidder raises the bid to two and a quarter million dollars.  I need to know who the mystery bidder is.

It was easy to crack daisyauction.com the first time around, and it’s just as easy this time.  I pull up the bids page, and view the IPs the bids have been placed from.  I copy them and paste them to a spreadsheet.  Then I begin the process of elimination.  I recognize the IPs I have placed bids from, even though I change them constantly, and delete them.  The most recent bid came from Jamaica.  The bid before that was placed in Zimbabwe.  And before that, Bangladesh. 

Whoever the other bidder is, they are finding networks all around the world and hacking into them.  This is some top notch hacker shit.  This is…

My phone vibrates and plays a single chime, alerting me that I have a text.  I let out an exasperated sigh, and reach for the phone.  I know it’s not from Rey, because I fucked that up beyond repair.  It’s probably work, and I don’t want to deal with that right now.  I’m surprised when I see the message is from Phasma.

_Hux says the website daisyauction.com is still up, and wondered if you needed help with the DOS attack.  Also, here is a new list of operators.  Hopefully these won’t be too difficult for you to remove._

The day I need help from Hux is the day I stop hacking. 

The text is a reminder that I do not live in a bubble, no matter how badly I like to believe I am sometimes.  I should have known the rest of the group would realize the auction website with the most basic security would still be up.  Now, I have to figure out a way to hack proof the website I was supposed to hack, _and_ figure out who the mystery bidder is.

While trying to keep my shit together, because I’ve fucked up with Rey yet again.  When I win the auction I can walk into the hotel room with confidence.  I will understand what is happening between us, because I will be in control.  I will claim what I’ve won.  Rey will be my prize.  After I’ve... we've lost our virginity together, and I've provided the seed money for her venture, we can meet on equal footing.  No missed cues, no wrong word choices.  Just two human beings who understand what the other wants.

My phone chimes again.  I groan loudly.  “What the fuck do you want now, Phasma?” I mumble.

When I look down at the screen, I see the text is from Rey.  I nearly drop the device, and immediately minimize the auction window.  She can’t see what I’m doing through my phone, I remind myself. I just wasn’t expecting to hear from her, not until I grovel and beg for her forgiveness, anyway. 

I’m even more surprised when I read her text. 

_Do you miss me yet, Ben?_

She’s only been gone for about an hour and a half.  I did half an hour on the treadmill, took an extremely unpleasant cold shower, and found myself gravitating to her website.  I shouldn’t miss her this much, since we’ve only known each other for two days, but I do.  Especially with how I screwed up before she left.  I miss her like crazy. 

_Yes._

I keep it simple, so I don’t fuck it up.  Last night when I texted her, I typed it out on my laptop, looked at it, read it, corrected it, and changed it until I got it right.  Now I need to do that again, so that I can impress her. 

Before I have time to type up something witty, another text arrives.

_I was just getting ready for bed.  Guess what I’m imagining…_

My brain literally freezes.  I close my eyes, and try to block the world out.  I’ve been trying to chill out all evening, and I have John Mayer’s Battle Studies playing on repeat.  His haunting voice is singing, “ _If you want more love, why don’t you say so?_ ”

I feel like my senses are overloading.  It’s too much.  It’s almost as bad as when she was touching me earlier.  All I can think is, _Why does she want me?_   I have no idea how to respond. 

_I’d like to send you a picture, and you can send me one back.  I showed my friend Rose a picture of you, and she said you’re cute.  I’d like to show her one of you shirtless, so she can see your muscles._

I know what “cat fishing” is.  I’ve removed pictures of girls who have sent them to people they thought they could trust, only to find their nude bodies all over the internet. 

That’s when I get a picture of her, in just a sports bra, with an adorable smile on her face.  She shouldn’t have done this.  The picture could end up anywhere.  She’s telling me she trusts me.  But I can't reciprocate. I just can't. Men go shirtless all the time, on the beach, at the pool.  I just choose not to allow anyone to see me. 

_No._

I doubt she showed her friend my picture.  I doubt any female would say I’m _cute_.  She probably doesn’t even think I’m cute.  She’s probably just fucking with me. 

That’s when my phone chimes again, and I nearly drop it.  She’s sent another picture, and this time she’s not wearing the sports bra.  She’s lying in a bed, on plain white cotton sheets, and she’s shirtless.

_Rey, you can’t just_

I begin the text, but I stop.  She doesn’t want a lecture from a hacker about the dangers of sending nude pictures to a man she doesn’t know.  She wants my attention.  She wants me.  Maybe it’s all for the money, I don’t know.  But she’s trying.  She’s trying so hard.

I lick my lips as I stare at the picture.  She has moles on her chest, just like I do.  And her… her _nipples_ … they’re the exact same shade as her pretty pink lips. 

I could have touched her, _them_.  I could have touched her breasts.  She would have let me, I’m sure of it.  If I hadn’t said she only wanted my money, and not me.  I find my fingers touching the screen, tracing the curve of her breasts and the valley between them.  And even after spending so much time in a cold shower, I’m harder than I’ve ever been. 

I backspace what I’ve typed, and begin again.

_Rey, I…_

But she texts me again before I can finish.  _Tell me you don’t want me, Ben.  Tell me to stop, and I’ll stop._

The last thing I want is for her to stop.  I feel like my heart might beat out of my chest.  I feel like it might explode.  The only thing worse than feeling like she only wants me for my money, is the idea that she doesn't want me at all. 

So this is why they call it a crush, because my feelings are literally crushing me.

_Rey, I don’t want you to stop.  But I don’t know how to go forward._

I exhale, and hit send.  My hands are shaking, and my palms are sweating.  Everything else is forgotten.  Everything but _her_.

_We’ll figure it out together.  Where do you want to take me tomorrow night?_

I smile.  I feel my lips parting in the first real smile I’ve felt in a long time.  I turn on the camera, and take a picture of it.  I’m nervous as hell, but I add it to a message and hit send.  Maybe she’ll see me, and know what she’s doing to me.

_You’re so cute when you smile, Ben.  You should do it more often._

I chuckle when I read it.  I’m sure my face is blood red.  _I’ll try to do it again when I see you tomorrow night.  Seven o’clock, at my place?_

Is this really me, being a normal man?  I never would have thought it was possible.  Until Rey came along. 

_It’s a date._

Oh, my God!  I’m actually going on a date.  I smile again, thinking of going on my first real date, with Rey.  I have to make sure everything is perfect.  So I do the first thing that comes to mind.  I look through my contacts, and touch the screen when I find the one that says _Mom_.  And I listen as it rings.

“Ben?  Are you okay?  It’s been forever since you called,” Leia Organa says on the other end.

“Yes, Mom, I’m fine.  I need advice.  I have a date…”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for sticking with me! I appreciate every single comment and kudo!
> 
> We're up to 417 now! It's so exciting!!!!!
> 
> I have to give credit where credit is due. Rey's flirty texts came straight from refinery29.com. I'm just not a good flirt, so I had to google it!


	18. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. I had to adult today, and then I had to wife. :-D But of course, Rey and Ben are always at the front of my mind, waiting to be written about, talked about, thought about. Okay, maybe I'm a little obsessed! Enjoy the chapter!

**Rey - Eighteen**

 

I’ve been bubbling with energy and ideas all day, and my mouth has been running a mile a minute, so fast my brain can’t keep up.  I’m nervous, and excited, about my date with Ben tonight.  This time it is a real date, not a coffee and show him my engine afternoon, or a breakfast and spend an hour at the junkyard.  No, this is dinner and whatever else Ben has planned.  I can’t even be embarrassed by the pictures I sent him last night, because they got me a date with the hottest, sexiest, most eligible bachelor in the galaxy. 

And I only have three hours to get ready.  Paige and Rose picked out an outfit last night, but I don’t think I should wear another plaid skirt.  I don’t have any clothes that aren’t jeans and hoodies.  I might have scored a date with the most handsome man on the planet, but now what? 

Now I get to be anxious about said date.  Surely one of the girls has a little black…

Jaguar F-Type convertible?  I see it as I pull up to the apartment building, sitting in one of the ten spots in the parking lot beside the building, with a big red bow on it.  It’s the same model we test drove yesterday, but this one is black with a black top. 

I guess I’ve stopped in the middle of the street to stare, because I hear a horn blaring behind me.  I find a parking spot, pull out my phone, and text Ben.

_What the fuck have you done?_

I grab my bag, make sure the SUV is locked, and walk toward the sports car.  It’s beautiful, maybe the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life.  It’s sleek, and sexy, and everything an expensive, exotic car is supposed to be.  And it’s…

“For fuck’s sake, Rey, is that _yours_?”  Paige asks from behind me.  I don’t even turn to look at her.  I only have eyes for the car. 

“I don’t know,” I answer, but I’m fairly sure it is. 

“You’re going to need a nicer outfit.”

“You think?”  I laugh.  I don’t even try to contain it.  I laugh like a child at their birthday party… Or what I imagine that must be like.  I laugh like I’ve never laughed before.  At Paige’s silly one liner, at the car sitting in front of me, at the idea that someone would actually buy it for me.  It’s incredible.  It’s unbelievable.  So unbelievable I almost don’t recognize the bells ringing as the sound my phone makes when I have a text.  I almost believe it’s the sound of a fairy godmother’s magic wand.

_The door code is 0412_.

That’s the number of his condo.  He must have asked them to program it.  I am absolutely stunned.

“Oh, my God Rey.  Did Ben buy you that?”  That is Rose’s voice.  “I have to call Finn.  He’s not going to believe this.”

I open the door, and slide into the perfectly soft black leather seats, trimmed in red.  The seat belts are red to match the trim.  I get another text.

_The fob should be in the console.  Hit the start button._

I hit the button, and the V8 engine roars to life with 575 horse power.  I laugh again, and I immediately cover my mouth. 

Paige opens the door and joins me.  “This car is my new aesthetic.  This car is on fleek.  This car is…”

“Yes, Paige, I know you’re cool with all the millennial vocab.  The car is amazing,” I reply, as I pet the butter soft steering wheel.

 “Marry Ben Solo.  Skip the dating.  Just marry him.”  She immediately changes the station on the satellite radio, and finds an upbeat song.  Then she touches the button to roll down the window.  “Let’s take it for a drive!”

This… this isn’t…  It’s too much.  I can’t.  I can’t accept this.

“No.  We’re not taking it for a drive.”  I put the window back up, then hit the button to shut off the engine.  “I can’t keep this car.” 

“Why not?”  Paige looks at me like she suddenly thinks I’m an alien. 

“It’s almost two hundred thousand dollars, that's why not!  I can’t accept a gift like this!  Get out.”  I grab the fob, shove it in my purse, and hit the door lock before I exit too.  The last thing I want is for someone to drive off in the most expensive car on the block.

“You’re fucking insane.  This car is magnificent!” Paige says, and slams the door.

“Yes, it is.  But it’s not _mine_.”  I stomp away from the pretty convertible, as I touch the screen on my phone. 

I hear it ringing, and I also hear Rose speaking to Paige.  “Where is she going?”

“She’s lost her damn mind,” Paige replies.

“I guess the car was delivered,” Ben’s deep, magical voice says.

“Are you crazy, Ben?  Did you really buy a brand new Jaguar and think that I would just accept it?”  I try not to scream into the phone, but I can hear my own voice and I think I’m yelling.

“Why wouldn’t you?” he purrs.  “Would you rather have the Ultra Blue?”

“No, I would not…” I begin.

“The Corris Grey was nice, but the black was available in New Hampshire, and the sales manager promised it could be delivered today.  The gray would have needed another week…”

“Ben!  It’s not the color!  Do you know how much that car cost?”

“Of course I do.  I wrote the check.”  He says it so smoothly, with just a hint of arrogance. 

And I want to scream again.  I will not be able to explain to him how bad him thinking I’m a charity case makes me feel.  I cannot explain to a billionaire how a gift like that, to someone you’ve only known for two fucking days, is completely inappropriate.

“What did you expect to get out of it, huh?  Why would you buy a car like that for me?”

“I expected it to make you happy.  And I bought it because you couldn’t take your eyes off of it, and you practically glowed with happiness while you were test driving the other one yesterday.”  His voice is making me melt.  Somehow his calm, rich voice is causing me to question why taking the car might actually be a bad thing.  “Do you remember saying, ‘Ben this car handles like a dream!  The steering reacts perfectly, and the…’”

“Yes, I remember what I said!  That didn’t mean you had to go and buy it!”  Contrary to Ben’s voice getting deeper while he speaks about my glowing review of the car, mine seems to be three octaves higher than normal.

“I don’t want anything other than to please you, Rey.”  He sounds almost sad, as if my reaction is breaking his heart.

“Ben, I’ll just…”  The tone of his voice is crushing me.  I don’t want him to be unhappy.  “Ben, you can’t just go around buying people cars.”

“I’ve already done it,” he says.  “I had intended to deliver your Jaguar to your apartment, but one of the salesmen knows a body shop, and I’m having it painted.  What color would you…”

“Gold,” I interrupt him, and then I gasp.  It came out so easily, as if it’s normal to have a man offer to have my car painted.  “The XJ6 came in an original gold, and I’ve always…”  I can’t finish my sentence.  I can’t believe that I’m really so greedy that I’m thinking of accepting his offer.

“I’ll call them and let them know.  The interior needs to be replaced as well.  The shop that I’ve sent it to knows someone who can order new leather covers for the seats.  I believe they said the correct color is magnolia.”

“Magnolia,” I say at the same time he does.  “Ben,” I whisper.  It’s a plea, even if I don’t know what I’m asking him for. 

“I can’t wait to see you at seven.  I think you’ll enjoy what I have planned for the evening.”  He’s trying to persuade me, trying to reassure me that it is all okay. 

I turn toward the apartment, and find the car with the big red bow still sitting there.  Finn is gazing into the driver’s side window, and Rose is trying to find the best angle to take a selfie with it.  Is this my new normal?

“What should I wear?” I ask.  I have no intentions of cancelling our date, but if he has something planned it might be nice to know how to prepare myself, since I wasn't able to prepare for the surprise of the new convertible. 

“Jeans and tennis shoes?”  He says it almost as if he’s asking for my approval.  “And drive the convertible.  I like the way you look while you’re driving it.”  I scoff, and roll my eyes.  “I’ve never seen anyone happier than you looked while you were behind the wheel of that car yesterday.  You deserve to have that look on your face every day, Rey.  Let me make you happy.”

How in the hell can I say no to that?  “Fine.  I’ll see you at seven.” 

Just as I’m about to end the call, I hear him say, “You can come early if you like.  We can drive.”

“You’re not driving the convertible,” I mumble.

“What was that?” he asks, with a chuckle in his voice.

“Nothing.  I’ll see you soon,” I say quickly, and end the call.

Then I hand my phone to Rose, climb on the hood, and try to position my head by the bow.  “Take my picture?”

“If you take mine next!” she exclaims. 

“Rey, did Ben?” Finn starts.

“You already know the answer to that question,” I reply, through the most genuine smile I’ve ever worn in my life.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy ever loving Reylo! 440 kudos and 10117 hits! What... Is... THIS!?!?!  
> THANK YOU!!!!!!!!


	19. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am tired as all heck, but I started this chapter and I decided I must finish it before bed. I'll climb in with my iPad, and begin answering comments until I can't hold my eyes open! Hopefully this answers some questions, and I'll address Leia's dating advice in the next chapter.

**Rey - Nineteen**

 

I’m wearing a cute long sleeved shirt I borrowed from Paige, my new trainers, and the jeans that don’t have holes all in them.  Well, when I say new shoes, I mean I bought them when I first moved to the states, four years ago.  They weren’t expensive, aren’t a name brand, but I’ve treated them like they are.  They still look new, even after owning them for four years.  That might be because I rarely ever wear them, not even to class.

I think about it because I’m in the car he bought, the car that he paid nearly two hundred grand for.  It’s hard for me to wrap my head around the fact.  But, the car handles like a dream, and I bet it would take flight if I set it loose.  I can’t really test the car’s V8 engine in Cambridge, especially at six o’clock on a Monday evening.

That’s when I glance over at Ben, who I did pick up early so we could both drive the new car, and being the tech genius he is he’s got his phone in one hand, and he’s testing buttons in the car with the other.  The next thing I know, the top is going down and the wind is rushing through my hair, tugging at the messy bun that Paige placed at the top of my head.

My eyes briefly catch his, and he’s grinning from ear to ear.

“You know it’s too cold for that.”  I try to make my voice sound stern, but it’s hard as hell to do while driving this amazing piece of machinery.  And it’s not really cold, either.  We’re finally seeing a hope of spring, and right now it’s almost sixty degrees.

“I’ll put it back up.  In a minute,” he says, as his big hand goes up, just over the frame around the windshield. 

I think he likes the car almost as much as I do.  And now I feel bad that I told him he couldn’t drive it.  Almost.  But there’s a thought that’s nagging me, and I can't stop thinking it.  I wait until he’s put the top up again, so I’m sure he can hear me, to ask, “Ben, if you think I’m a gold digger, why did you buy this car?”

He looks hurt by the term.  He didn’t really say _gold digger_ , but I know that’s what he meant.  He’s staring out the window like he’s thinking.  But when he speaks, he turns to look right at me.  “It was the look in your eyes.  You looked like a kid who’d just been handed her first brand new toy, and yet you were resigned to the idea that you were going to have to give it back.  I thought that was how you must have looked as a kid, and it broke my heart.  I didn’t want you to have to give it back.” 

I thought I could handle anything.  I thought my life had prepared me for the tough situations.  But not this time.  I hear myself inhale, and it’s ragged and jerky.  His voice is sad, and his eyes are so full of feelings.  I hear horns honking, and realize that the light I’d been waiting on has turned green.  I look around, find a parking lot on the corner to my right, and maneuver my way into it so I can park. 

His words seemed so innocent, but they touched something deep inside me, something I'd tried so hard to hide from everyone else behind the happy mask I wear for the world.  And he saw it so easily.  The abandoned little girl who never got a gift from anyone reacts, and I reach out to touch his cheek.  That’s when I realize I’m crying, and his eyes look like they’re glimmering with his own tears.

“I wanted you to have the car, and I could give it to you.  I don’t expect anything in return.”  I move my hand away at that.  He’s sending out mixed signals again, and it’s confusing.  He must see that in my eyes, too, because he grabs my wrist and pulls my palm toward his lips.  He whispers against my skin, “But I want you, Rey.  I want you to know that, and all I want is for you to want me too.”  That’s when his lips touch my skin, and I finally exhale another uneven breath. 

My fingers caress his cheek as he continues to kiss my palm.  This is more happiness, more excitement than I’ve felt in my entire life.  My heart feels like it might explode from it, and everything else is tingling.  Literally _everything_. 

“I understand Ben, because it’s your eyes too.  You look at me like no one has ever seen me before you came along.”  I sigh when his eyes meet mine again.  “And, there’s something else, too.”

“What?” he murmurs against the inside of my wrist, and I shiver.  He has that exact look in his beautiful dark eyes right now. 

“You look…”  I bite my bottom lip, afraid to say it out loud.  But I know the look, growing up in a group home.  It’s easy for me to identify. 

“Say it,” he challenges, before he leaves another gentle kiss against the pulse point.  It’s making my insides flutter.  He is so much more thrilling than the car. 

“You look hungry.”  I sigh after I say it, and I feel my lips quivering.

“I am.”  He closes his eyes as he says it.  Then he dares to nip at the sensitive flesh with his sharp white teeth.  That moan I hear comes from me.  _Me_.  “I’m starving for you, Rey.  And I’ve never felt anything like this.”

I feel the urge to start the car and take him straight back to his house, and force him to face this…  I can’t even name it.

“What is happening between us, Ben?”

He reaches out to me then, and wipes away the tears that are rolling down my cheeks.  “I don’t know, but I don’t want it to ever stop.”  He places my hand on the start button, then releases it.  “I think it’s time we find out.  Take me back to my place.”

I nod, and do as he asks.  I want it too.  I want it so damn much.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Other fanfic writers say that comments kept them going, and it's true. Thank you all so much for sticking with my crazy AU idea! I do appreciate each and every comment and all the kudos. (of which there are now 450, with 10492 hits!) I hope you guys are enjoying reading it as much as I am enjoying writing it!


	20. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I missed yesterday. Because of that I might do another chapter later tonight.

**Ben - Twenty**

 

“We should stop for food,” I suggest.  She looks a little confused when she glances over at me, so I clarify.  “My mother said I should buy you dinner, and entertain you.” 

“Your mother?  Senator Organa?”  Her voice brightens up when she says it.

“Yea,” I reply.  I don’t say anything else about it.  I shouldn’t have mentioned it.  And now…

“The Senator Organa gave you dating advice to take me out?  What did she say?”  Rey’s bubbly, happy self has roared back to life.

And I’ve never felt more nervous.  I rub the palms of my hands against my jeans as I look out the window.  “She suggested I take you someplace where we would both be comfortable, but where the food is good, and then somewhere we could talk while also having fun.”

My mother did give me some really good advice, after she asked, “ _You have a date_?” three times.  That didn’t do anything to help my anxiety and self-confidence, the idea that my mom assumed I’d never go out on a date. 

“Where had you planned to take me?” Rey asks, now apparently more excited about the prospect of an actual date than heading back to my apartment to be alone with me.

“There are several really good restaurants at Harvard Square.  And there are street performers, coffee houses, shops, and one of my favorite book stores.” 

“Books?” Rey asks, her voice sounding almost like a chuckle.

“I like books,” I reply, as if I’m defending myself.  She smiles but doesn’t say anything.  I can tell she’s weighing my hobby in her mind, comparing it to building pollution free engines and scavenging through junkyards, and finding it lacking.

Most of the happiness, excitement, and magic I felt when we talked about the purchase of the car have dissipated.  I am back to just me and her, alone in a car, and I’m starting to feel the awkwardness creeping in again.  And with it, the uncertainty.

Does she idolize my mother?  Does she hope to meet her?  Is that why she’s dating me?  That, and the fact that I can buy her a car and it wouldn’t even cause a blip in my checking account?

Then she says, “I can’t believe Leia Organa gave you dating advice.  She is such a feminist icon.  She is the epitome of the female politician of her generation.” 

“She might be a senator first, but she’s also my mom.”  I clear my throat, and continue to look everywhere but at her.  I can’t.  There’s nothing in me that she could possibly want.  Not even my mother wanted to be around me.  Why would Rey?

“Ben, I’m sure that’s not…”

“Pull in here,” I interrupt her.  I don’t want to discuss my mother with her any longer.  It would just lead to hurt, and embarrassment, and even more feelings of not being good enough.

“Where?  There?” she asks, when she sees the empty spot I’m pointing at in front of my favorite vegetarian diner.  And then she proceeds to flawlessly parallel park in front of the restaurant.  Just when I thought she couldn’t be any more perfect.

I immediately reach for the door handle, but her hand on my thigh stops me.

“Ben?” she says gently.  I feel the anxious energy jolting through me.  I need to run.  I need to lift heavy stuff.  I need to be anywhere besides in the cab of this small car with this tiny woman.  “Ben, I’m sure she’s your mother first.”

I scoff and shake my head.  “You’re the one who was fawning over her a minute ago.”  I immediately regret saying the words, but it doesn’t make them any less true.

“She’s accomplished so much in her chosen career, which has historically been dominated by men, and that means a lot to women everywhere.  Girls look up to your mom, knowing that they have a powerful, respected role model.  Don’t make that about you.”  Her sweet voice is calming, but also has a hint of steel in it. 

She’s right, though.  I’ve always needed to make it about me.  The evenings I spent with nannies, waiting on my mom to come in from another long session.  The parties she would attend, dragging her frowning emo son along with her.  Her colleagues would always ask if _young Ben_ would be carrying on the family tradition, and all I could do is glower.  “We’ll see,” she would always answer, as diplomatically as possible.  But she knew I couldn’t string three words together without blushing profusely, with my voice cracking between every syllable. 

“I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.  I seem to have a knack for that,” Rey says, and brings me back to the present. 

“My mother was always out championing her cause, but she didn’t have a whole lot of time for me.”  It should be obvious, but it’s still hard for me to say.  And yet this girl sitting beside me had even less than I did.  At least I knew my mom was out trying to save the world.  “I’m sure I won’t get any sympathy from you for saying that.”

Her hand tightens on my thigh, and I finally glance over at her.  Her pretty hazel eyes are again glittering with tears.  I feel guilty again for making her feel this way.  My mom said Rey was supposed to enjoy the date, not burst into tears every fifteen minutes.

“No sympathy from me, sorry.  But maybe a little empathy.”  She moves her fingers off my thigh to search for my hand.  When she finds it she twines our fingers together.  “At least you can call your mother up on the phone, to ask her for advice.”  I try to pull away, out of shame, but she won’t let me.  “I’m not trying to make you feel better about your situation by comparing it to mine, Ben.  I know you’ve been hurt.  Eventually you’ll tell me what happened.  But it’s nice to sit beside someone, and you know they understand.  They get it.”

Maybe she’s right.  Maybe that’s what I’ve been looking for, without even knowing it.  “You know it’s sad really.  While I was growing up, all I ever wanted was to not be alone.  I wanted my parents so badly, I wanted friends.  And now, I choose to spend all my time alone.  Except….”  I grab her hand tighter. 

“All I ever wanted was normal.  I wanted a house, a dog, parents.  I wanted a refrigerator full of my favorite foods, and my own bedroom.  I wanted all the things most people take for granted.”  She says it wistfully, as if those are things that are unobtainable. 

Like with the car, I feel this sudden deep need to give it to her. 

“The condo is sitting there empty most of the time.  I mean, if you still want your own room.”  Her eyes grow wide with the offer, and her cheeks dimple up. 

But she also shakes her head.  “I think I’ve grown used to having flat mates.  I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have to spend every other night on the couch.”

I understand that.  Just as I’ve surrounded myself with the loneliness I hated as a child, she’s surrounded herself with people.  And I bet she wished more than once that she could just go to sleep alone as a child. 

“We become what we hate,” I mutter.  I’m sure I read that somewhere.

“That’s very deep,” she says.  Then her stomach growls, loudly.  She laughs over her embarrassment.  “It looks like you want me to become a vegetarian,” she says, and nods her head toward the diner.

“Do you hate vegetarians?” I ask.

“No, I just never really understood it,” she admits.  Her smile is still bright as she says, “Maybe you can explain it to me.”

Whatever it is between us, I’m so glad we found it.  Even if I did lie to meet her, and I set up the meeting with an ulterior motive. 

“And maybe afterward, you can introduce me to your favorite book store.”  She looks over her shoulder, then opens her door and hurries around to mine.  “Come on, Ben, I’m starving!” she insists, as she shifts her weight from one foot to the other, from my door to the door of the diner and back again. 

The urgency from earlier is gone, but what replaces it is happy, light, and sweet.  I like both.  I want both.  I want her, and everything that entails. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry there's still no smut. It's coming, I promise!  
> 472 kudos!? What?!?!  
> Thanks everyone for reading! I do appreciate and get excited about every hit, each kudo, and every comment!


	21. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the first chance I've had in three days to sit down at my computer. I had imagined I'd have them in his apartment already, but I had this idea a few days ago and I had to write it. So... here it is. I hope you like it. And sorry it took me so long, this week has been busy. And as always, thank you for reading!

**Rey - Twenty-One**

 

We’ve had dinner, which consisted of a vegan bacon sandwich, French fries, and Boston cream pie.  It wasn’t terrible, but it will never replace real bacon for me.  Ben seemed very happy that I was giving his life choices a try, but I felt like an animal in a zoo with how closely he was watching my reactions.  I wonder if he could tell my smiles were fake.  I even lied and said it was good.  Good was overreaching a little, but it was definitely edible. 

Now we’re standing in Ben’s favorite book shop.  He is gazing at the Sci-Fi section as if he wants to buy it all.  He’s staring at it the same way I must look at chocolate cake sometimes.  I turn to look at my surroundings, and find a sign over an aisle to my left that says _Self-Help_.  What really calls to me is a cover for a book right under it.  The title is blaring, and draws me in.

_Sex For Dummies._

I glance at Ben, who is enthralled, before I look back at the book.  He’s not going to notice.  I walk toward it, like it’s a lighthouse in a storm.  I stand in front of it.  I don’t want to be caught reading it, but I want this book.  No, I _need_ it.  I make a mental note to come back here this week and buy the book. 

I turn around to return to Ben, and nearly walk into the brick wall that is his chest.  “Hey, I…” I begin. 

And then everything seems to happen in slow motion.  He moves his long arm, and reaches the book without having to take a step closer toward it.  His big hand grabs the book.  He opens it, and begins looking through it.  My face turns from candy apple red to deep blood red.  He’s staring at the book as if it’s the Holy Grail.  He flips through the pages and his eyes get wider.  Then he closes the book.

I expect him to put it back on the shelf.  Instead, he holds it in his right hand, and again reaches over my shoulder with his left.  He picks up another book. 

_How to Lose Your Virginity._

He places the first book between his left bicep and his ribcage.  He leafs through the pages again.  He seems just as fascinated with this book.  His eyes get even wider.  My cheeks get even redder.  I’m sure they are now a dark redcurrant color.  I wonder for a split second if Ben has ever eaten redcurrant jelly. 

He hasn’t looked at me, thank God, or I would die of embarrassment.  Especially after he picks up a book about the Kama Sutra.  That’s when I turn around and walk away. 

That’s when his deep, rich voice resonates inside me with the word, “Rey.”  I stop immediately, and feel my shoulders shiver.  His voice is like crushed velvet, and silky smooth.  “We have to learn somehow.  What better way?”

“Oh, I don’t know.  By doing?” I ask, without turning to look at him.

That’s when I think of how I will lose my virginity by doing, and it won’t be with Ben.   

“If you don’t want me to get them, I won’t.”  He sounds confused and a little bit sad.  

For a moment I’m almost glad I won’t lose my virginity with Ben.  I can’t imagine doing something so important with someone so inexperienced.  I mean, I wouldn’t take my car to get an oil change by someone who had never changed the oil in a car before. 

“Rey,” he says again, and everything about it makes me weak in the knees.  His voice is so achingly lovely.  The way he says my name, as if he’s asking me for help.  He wants my input in the decision.  And above all, he wants to make me happy.  He wants to be better informed about the situation.  He understands we need to know more about it, but he doesn’t want me to be uncomfortable.

I’m being selfish by walking away in embarrassment.  I mean, if we can’t talk about this, buying the books, how can we even consider having sex?  I won’t be losing my virginity to him, but he will be losing his virginity.  If not to me, then to someone else.  

Someone somewhere in his past has made him self-conscious.  Someone made him doubt everything about himself.  Someone made him so insecure that he is a super hot, sexy as hell, richer than God thirty year old virgin.  

I can’t make him feel any worse about the entire situation than he already does.  I can’t be the one to perpetuate his insecurities.  It has to stop here, with me.  Me and him, together.

I face him, and bridge the gap that I created between us.  I tip my head back to look up into his gorgeous face and his beautiful brown eyes.  I reach up to trace over the constellation of beauty marks on his cheek.  I hear my own breath as I exhale, and even to my own ears I sound enraptured with him. 

Doesn’t he know how much I want him?  Can’t he see how beautiful I think he is?

“I’m sorry I was embarrassed by the idea of sex.  It’s not that I don’t want to do it with you, Ben.  It’s just, you know, _talking_ about it.  Carrying the books up there and actually paying for them when someone is looking at our choices.  People are very judgmental.”

He stares at the books he’s holding in his huge hands again, and moves toward the rack.

“No.”  I touch his hand as I say it, and he stops.  “You’re right, Ben.  I don’t think we should be embarrassed about it any longer.  We’re both adults, and we should be able to educate ourselves about this topic, just like any other topic.  We deserve it, don’t we?”

I catch his eyes then, and I see the same emotions I heard in his voice.  He’s unsure, but willing to learn.  He’s hopeful, but still he’s uncertain.  He’s feeling the same things I am, and on top of it he thinks he’s unattractive and unworthy.

“When we do this,” I start, and he almost smiles.

His lips part, and I see a bit of his shiny white teeth.  “When?” he asks, and his cheeks turn pink.

I nod my head.  “When we do this, we’ll be better off knowing.  Won’t we?”

“Yes,” he replies, and picks up another book and looks at me.

_How to Be a Good Kisser._

I shrug.  “I mean, sure, why not?” 

He gives me an honest smile, showing me that he too has a dimple in his right cheek. 

I immediately picture a little girl with thick, wavy dark hair and shiny bright eyes, with dimples.

**_Oh my God!  Am I picturing our hypothetical children already?_ **

I take a deep breath and try to tamp down the excitement the image causes inside me.  As we’re walking toward the till, I take his hand and weave our fingers together.  I again glance up at him, and nod.  He’s still smiling.  This is definitely a step in the right direction.

“I have one condition.  I want you to be shirtless while we’re reading them.  Your chest is soooo sexy,” I say, while we’re still out of earshot of the attendant.  I hear his breath hitch, and he misses a step.  I’m feeling bold, and courageous, when he sits the books on the cash desk.  I smile at the guy who totals up the cost, and wrap my arm around Ben’s waist.  Ben seems much more confident right at this moment than I’ve ever seen him. 

After he pays and we’re outside the door of the shop, he says, “Wait.”  He tugs on my hand and I look up at him again.  He bends forward and kisses my forehead, and it feels so intimate, like we are the only people in the world.  “Thank you,” he whispers against my skin.

“Thank you, Ben,” I reply.  Then I place my hands on his cheeks to hold him where he is, and I gently kiss his lips.  “Thank you for everything.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An explanation... When I decided that Ben liked books, I wanted to write a scene about Rey stealing away and being shocked by a copy of the Kama Sutra, and Ben causing her to drop it when he caught her. It didn't quite end up that way, but I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. I hope you guys like it too! I am almost up to 500 kudos, and I don't know what I'll do if I hit it. I might need to be resuscitated! Thank you all for reading my AU! It's been extremely easy to fall in love with these characters! 
> 
> Also, I googled the titles before adding them, and they are all real books. I'm not endorsing them, and I haven't read them, but I thought they were titles that would appeal to Ben and Rey.


	22. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Like with the last chapter, this morphed into something that I wasn't expecting. And I just don't know what to say....

**Ben - Twenty-Two**

 

I swear I have no idea how it happened.  One minute I’m leaving the bathroom and the next I find Rey in the center of my bed and she’s patting the empty space on her left side. 

“Take off your shirt,” she orders again.  Then she shows me the book she’s carried into bed with her.  _Kama Sutra: A Position a Day._ I’m suddenly terrified.  I’m staring at the woman I want more than anything, who is in my bed and wants me too, and I’m more afraid than I’ve ever been in my life.

I’m afraid she’ll reject me. 

I sigh loudly, and stare down at the hardwood floors.  I need to tell her.  I have to.

“I was sixteen and in the tenth grade.  It was Spring Break.  My mom was in Boston, campaigning.  My dad was… who knows where with my dad, he was never home.  I was home alone and one of the kids in my class found out, and then everyone knew.  One evening he knocked on the door, and the next thing I know everyone was at my house.  There were probably three hundred people there, some of them too old to be hanging out with high school kids.  But that’s not the point.”

She scoots toward the edge of the bed, giving me all of her attention.  She’s so damn pretty, but if I look at her I’ll lose my nerve.  So I avoid eye contact, and continue my story.

“The point is, they were playing spin the bottle in my mom’s bedroom, and I was in the room trying to get them out.  The prettiest girl in school, who I had a pathetic crush on, was spinning, and her best friend grabbed the bottle and pointed it at me. 

“My heart was pounding.  I was so excited that I was going to kiss my crush.  And she said no.  Her best friend told her if she kissed me I’d calm down and stop acting like a little bitch.  They wanted her to take one for the team.  She said not no but hell no, she wasn’t kissing the freak.  She looked at me, and I could see the disgust in her eyes.  The worst thing in the world she could think of was to kiss me.”

I cross my arms in front of my chest.  I feel my shoulders hunch over.  When I look at myself in the mirror I’m still that stick skinny, big eared sixteen year old _freak_. 

“Ben, they were stupid kids.”  She stands up and walks toward me, and she reaches out to touch me but I flinch and move away.  “She probably didn’t age well.”

“She didn’t,” I admit.  I’ve looked her up on social media.  She’s a single mom and an alcoholic, but that doesn’t make me feel any better. 

“And look at yourself.  You’re sexy as hell now.”  She says it like she means it, but I know she doesn’t.  I move away when she tries to touch me again, so she wraps her arms around my waist, and rests her cheek against my back. 

“I’ve looked in the mirror.  I know what I look like.” 

She takes a step and tries to drag me with her, but I weigh about a hundred pounds more than her and I will not budge.

“Ben, you seemed willing at the book shop,” she encourages, and tries again to get me near the bed. 

“It’s not that I’m not willing, or that I don’t want you.  It’s just that I’m afraid.  I’m afraid you’ll realize how disgusting I am, and…”

She interrupts me.  “I’m not going to discuss this any longer.  I’m going to order you to take off your shirt, and I’m going to insist you get in that bed.  And then…”  She slides around my body until she’s facing me. 

I look down at her, so small and so self-assured.  She’s dimpled up, and brimming with confidence.  She’s beautiful and she knows it, and she knows I will never, ever reject her.

I watch as an idea hits her, and her face suddenly changes.  “You don’t want me, do you?”

“What?”  I’m literally stunned.  How can she think that?  She’s beautiful, and magical, she’s sweet and bubbly.  She’s everything I’m not.  She’s like fine champagne and I’m like a dry, dark sherry.

“I’m here like, get naked and climb in your bed so we can figure this making out thing out, and you’re all moody and gloomy like I’m asking to pull your fingernails out.”  Her eyes are round, but they don’t hold their normal brilliant curiosity.  They’re flat, and almost empty.  It’s like she’s finally realized something, and it’s all wrong.  Everything is wrong. 

She’s not supposed to look at me like that.

“I bought you a car, and I’ve…”  I can’t tell her I know about her auction.  The last time I visited I bid three million dollars.  That’s how much I want her.  Why can’t she understand that I…

That I what?  That I’m waiting until there are no questions, there are no doubts.  That I’m trying to buy her virginity?  It is just as creepy as it sounds.  Those girls were right, I am a freak. 

“You’ve bought me a car, but you don’t want to kiss me?  What’s next?  You’ll buy me a house but you won’t share a bed with me?” 

She has it all wrong.  Of course I want to kiss her, but I’m afraid.  I’m…

She’s right in front of me.  Her head is tipped up toward me.  She’s almost demanding I do something.

I grab her biceps and lean forward, and my lips touch hers.  It’s just as awkward and graceless as I thought it would be.  My nose is in the way, and I’m too tall for this to be comfortable.  I’m probably doing it wrong, but at least I’m doing it. 

As soon as our lips touch, I feel the now familiar all consuming desire that rushes through me when I’m this close to her.  My dick is as hard as a rock, and angled wrong.  And I’m too fucking tall.  If I could just get her against a flat surface, where I could have her in the right place.

We’re between the wall and the bed.  It would be easy to move her toward the bed, but that seems too sexual.  The wall it is.

I turn us both, shove her against the wall, and lift her up easily.  She wraps her legs around my hips, and I immediately thrust my hardness into her softness.  We both groan at the sweet friction it causes. 

Her arms wrap around my neck, and her fingers find my hair.  I tip my head down as she runs her fingernails over my scalp.  My entire body quakes at the intense sensation.  That’s when I feel her tongue flicking at the seam between my lips. 

That one small motion is incredible.  Every nerve ending in my body reacts as if her tongue touched each one of them.  My hips thrust again, until I feel her heat against every inch of my throbbing, aching…

I want more.  I want to toss her tiny body onto the bed, and strip myself bare to her, and kill the possibility of the auction.  Would she stop me?

Is she on birth control?  What if I got her pregnant?  Would she want to stay with me?  Or…

“Stop thinking, Ben.  Just feel.  Just kiss me back,” she whispers against my mouth. 

My lips part to answer her, and her tongue steals into my mouth.  I suck it in hungrily.  I have a piece of her inside me.  I thrust against her again, and I feel something tightening inside me.  It aches, like a coiled spring about to burst. 

She moans into my mouth, and I feel it growing tighter.  It almost hurts, but it feels like it’s building.  It’s building to something that…

I move again, feeling the roughness of the seams of her jeans catch against the head.  I’m breathing harder, panting like I’ve spent an hour on the treadmill.  I’m sucking on her tongue rough, fast, like I’m moving against her.

Suddenly I’m on a precipice, my entire body tingling with a sensation that makes my toes curl and my knees weak and my stomach ache.  With one more thrust it explodes inside me.  It bursts inside my heart and my brain.  It hurts, and feels amazing, and so much pleasure.  Everything shakes, like an earthquake. 

Is that me grunting like a wild animal? 

I feel like I’m sliding downward, falling, crashing back to earth. 

She removes her tongue from my mouth, and my body has gone so slack I let her.  She kisses my lips once, twice, and moves until my cheek is resting against hers.

“How did you like that?” she whispers into my skin.

Wait… what happened?  Did I just…

“What?” I demand, but it comes out as a croak.  That’s when I feel the wetness against my stomach, and my muscles tighten up again.

“It’s okay, Ben.  It happens,” she assures me.  “It’s natural.”  Her hands caress the back of my neck, as she leaves light kisses over my cheek.  “It’s fine.  Don’t panic.  It’s okay.”

Of course I’m going to panic.  I just had an orgasm.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have a beta, so I'm not sure about this one. Feedback please! And if anyone wants to volunteer to beta, just let me know! 
> 
> 516 kudos! Happy dance! Happy dance! Raise the roof! Superman!


	23. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to leave this here, and walk away slowly...

**Rey - Twenty-Three**

 

The only thing holding me up right now is the wall.  His legs have gone so weak he can barely hold himself up.  I’m grateful for that, because I think if he had all of his strength he would have already walked away.  And, his death grip on my arms has stopped, thankfully.  If I were a weaker girl that might have hurt.

I continue to murmur words of encouragement to him, but it did freak me out a little too.  He was not the in control, super polite Ben I’ve come to know.  It was as if something else had a hold on him, almost as if he wwas someone else.  It scared me a little at first, because he was rough and possessive, and that’s just not Ben. 

It didn’t take me long to realize that it was all happening because of me, because he wants me and he literally has no idea how to channel those feelings.  He’s never been this way, done any of this, with anyone but me.  That feels powerful.  No one else has ever been touched by, or kissed by, Ben Solo this way. 

Only me.  And that feels incredible. 

I can tell the exact moment when reality hits him.  He straightens up, and I expect him to sit me down on the floor.  But instead, he gently places one arm around my lower back, and the other around my shoulders, and carries me with my legs still wrapped around him. 

“Rey,” he says softly, his voice tinged with regret. 

“Don’t, Ben.  Don’t apologize,” I insist.  Somehow he holds me tighter.  “Don’t be sorry that you did that.  We did something good, something…”

I’m talking, and he’s walking, and I don’t really know where he’s going.  I’m so surprised when he sits down on the bed, and my knees somehow plant themselves on either side of his hips. 

It’s my turn now, to take what I want from him. 

“Rey, you can…” he begins.

But I grab his cheeks again, and stare as deeply as I can into his haunting, devastating, emotional eyes.  “I know I can, and I’m going to.”  I hope my voice sounds self-assured, because I feel a little afraid. 

His expression changes from ashamed to turned on in less than a second.  His eyes become deeper, darker.  _Knowing_.  He’s felt it, the headiness of our sexual attraction, and he wants it just as much as I do, even if he’s still as afraid of it as I am.

I wiggle against him, trying to find that friction that he found earlier.  He found the climax too, but I didn’t.  I felt it building every time he thrust his penis against me, but he reached the end before me.  This time, it’s my turn. 

I keep trying, rising up and down with my weight on my shins, and moving my hips from side to side, but I can’t do it the way he did.  But I can see my actions are working on Ben.  His eyes go wide, then squint up.  His full lips part, and he gasps.  But he doesn’t stop staring at me, and I wouldn’t dare tear my eyes from his perfect features for anything. 

My hands dig into his hair, until I grab thick handfuls of his soft locks, and he sighs a little from it.  I don’t know if I’m hurting him, but he seems to like it.

“More,” he moans.  “Please.”

The please at the end is ragged and heartfelt, and it makes my body shake.  His voice already touches something hidden inside me, a current of sexuality I didn’t know was even there.  But this word, this plea, doesn’t touch it.  It reverberates against it, over and over, until I’m shivering from it. 

“I don’t know how,” I admit.  He bites his luscious bottom lip, and I’ve never wanted anything more in my entire life than I want to taste him.  “But you can,” I whisper, right before I reach out and capture his delicious lip in my mouth.

His pupils burst wide, making his dark eyes appear black, in the moment before everything changes.

He effortlessly flips me over onto my back, and I gasp his breath into my lungs.  He pulls away slightly, and I’m afraid he’ll leave me.  But my fear is utterly irrational.  He simply repositions me on the bed, somehow knowing how I’ll be more comfortable and better supported.  I’m glad he did, because I need it when all of his weight is pressed against my center in the best way possible.

My eyes close when his tongue plunges into my mouth.  Somehow I’m still hanging on to him, as he moves athletically against me, as if he’s trained to do it his entire life.  Suddenly his hands are on the waistband of my borrowed shirt.  How he’s holding himself up I have no idea.  His abs must be made of steel.  Then his hands find my skin, and we both moan. 

It’s shocking and beautiful, having him touch the hidden skin of my stomach, where no one has touched before.  His hands are shaking, my insides are trembling.  He’s still moving against my center, still causing that precious friction between our most private parts. 

Everything is happening at the same time, and it’s overwhelming and at the same time not nearly enough.  If I could talk, I’d ask him for more like he did earlier.  But his tongue is moving in and out of my mouth, rough and then gentle, probing and then soothing. 

At that moment I know what I want, and I have to have it or I’ll die.

I twist my head back and forth, until he breaks the kiss to ask, “What’s wrong?”  He’s gazing at me, thinking he’s made a mistake.  I can see it in his eyes, he’s already blaming himself.

Now I’m shy.  I don’t know how to ask for what I want, even though I know what it is.  I want to orgasm like he did earlier, and I want his tongue inside me.

He’s just about to remove his hands and move away from me.  I can’t let him do that.  I’ll die if he stops.  I’ll wither away to nothing.

I move faster than I ever have, to grab his wrists.  “Don’t stop, Ben.  I need more,” I admit, as I move his hands down my body until I feel his fingers on my jeans.  He’s scared, and I am too.  But I need it.  “Please, Ben.”

I tip my hips upward, and begin unbuttoning my pants.  He looks like he’s going to say no.  Instead, he murmurs, “Tell me what you want, sweetheart,” as he helps me tug my jeans and underwear off.  

They’re only down to my knees when I move my hand back up to his hair, and I pull on it.  “Please, kiss me,” I beg.  When he moves toward my lips again I grab harder, and he winces.  I shake my head slowly.  His eyes soften, and I see his tongue escape to rest against his lips.  Then his eyes travel down my body, and I’m embarrassed and empowered at the same time.  “Yes, Ben, there.”

His big strong hands move up my thighs, and I hold my breath.  I may never breathe again.  His fingertips ghost over the V between my legs, and I hear myself growl.  “Yes, please, there,” I sigh. 

But he doesn’t acknowledge my pleas.  His hands travel up, over my ribs, pulling the shirt with it until I figure out what he’s doing and I help him remove it.  Then my small sports bra is the only thing between me and nudity.  With one quick pull he has my breasts exposed.  And then it’s off too.

“You’re sure?” he asks roughly, without looking into my eyes.  I’m sure he’s afraid I’ll say no.  But there’s no way in hell we’re stopping until I come too.

“I’m so sure, Ben.  I want you.”  Then his fingers float over my hair, down my shoulders, to my cleavage.  Slowly he finds my nipples, then stops.  It’s like earlier, when he built me up and stopped, and the anticipation is killing me.

“It’s okay?”  He’s still not convinced I want this, even after I practically begged him for it. 

“I want you, Ben.  Just you.”  Reality floods in with those words.  My virginity.  The auction.  How do I ask him to pleasure me, and then stop before we have sex?  I should tell him.  I should set the rules right now.  Yes, I should do that.  “I’ll reciprocate.  Orally, I mean.”

“You will?”  He sounds surprised.  Maybe I’m overreacting.  Maybe he wasn’t thinking about sex the way I was. 

“I mean, I’m willing to try if you are.” 

He’s looking at my breasts, but I still see the smile engulf his face.  He’s silent.  Knowing he’s looking at me and actually enjoying it is causing the most delicious ache of need to spread through me, as if I wasn’t already aching and needy. 

“I need you.”  My hips thrust upward as I say it, even though he’s not right there.  His fingers flick against the sensitive buds, and I gasp. 

“Need?” he mutters. 

“Yes, urgently.” 

He pinches softly, places his palms over my breasts, then he kneels down onto the floor.  His eyes catch mine as he leans forward, ever so slowly.  Then his face disappears against my body, and I lean back into the soft mattress. 

When his tongue laps against me, it sends a wave a pleasure through me that relieves the ache.  I relax, and let him gently discover me.  It’s sweet and new. 

Until again it changes.  More precisely, _he_ changes.  His hands are still on my breasts, and he squeezes at the exact same time his tongue enters me like it did my mouth. 

I cry out, loudly.  I didn’t know it was going to happen, and even if I did I wouldn’t have stopped.  Because I hear what I’ve screamed, and it’s a word.  One word.  The word that has consumed my life.  “Ben!”

It urges him on.  He moves forward, taking me.  His tongue plunges into me, like he did into my mouth, but at the same time he’s pinching and twisting my nipples.  And then his nose touches something hidden, and I feel electricity flowing through me.

“Yes!” I scream, as I grab his hair again and hold him tighter.  My hips are moving with him, against him.  Pleasure, all consuming, mind blowing, stunning pleasure cascades through me.  We find a rhythm somehow, me pulling him forward and shoving against him, and his tongue so patiently cooperating. 

It’s building.  I’m soaring.  I’m floating.  I’m there.  This is bliss.  This is it.

“Yes!”  I cry out, when it all crashes inside me. 

It’s too much, too good, too wonderful.  Too everything.

But it doesn’t last.  It moves away, like the sun setting behind a mountain.

I release his hair, and I hear him breathing heavy. 

“I’m…” I begin.

“Don’t you dare apologize,” he growls against my inner thigh, right before he plants a soft kiss against it.

“Are we okay?” I ask.  I’m afraid I’ve gone too far, demanded too much.

“Yes, we’re okay,” he assures me.  But he stands up and turns away. 

It’s the last thing I want.  “Don’t shut me out, Ben.  Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“Are you still a virgin?”

That’s the last thing I expect to hear.  Why should that matter, after what just happened?  Why should that be the first thought that enters his head?

“The auction.”

I hear the words he says, and at first I don’t understand it as if he’s speaking another language. 

But it hits me, harder and faster than the orgasm earlier.  He knows.  He knows about the auction.  I’m lying here mostly naked, completely bared to him, and he knows that I’m selling my virginity to the highest bidder.  I’ve never felt so humiliated in my life.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
> 
> It had to happen eventually. I promise I won't leave this cliffhanger lingering. I intend to write more and post it tonight.


	24. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry again.

**Ben - Twenty-Four**

 

As I stare at her beautiful face, I can see the light fade from her pretty eyes.  They become flat, hard, and unreadable.  She pushes her weight up onto her shoulders and shimmies her hips, jerking her jeans up her legs. 

The legs I knelt between.  The thighs I kissed.  Covering her most feminine part, the part I tasted.  The jeans I stripped off of her.  It’s still a blur, a shocking, stunning mixture of pleasure and shock, forbidden and sensual and everything I had thought it might be.  What it could be.  _With her_.

Then she rolls over onto her side, reaching for her shirt and bra.  The long line of her side beckons me, a part of her I didn’t touch that I want to explore.  How can a woman be so small?  Her ribs practically protrude, and I can see each of her vertebrae.  She should eat more, I think, as I notice the gap between her jeans and her skin.

I sit on my bed, and touch the hollow of her tiny waist.  She reaches out her hand and slaps mine away, with a menacing, “Stop!”

She moves until she’s sitting up on her knees, facing away from me.  She’s pulling her bra over her head, down her shoulders, and I notice it bunch up at her shoulder blades.  I reach out to straighten it, and she jerks away from me again.

So.  She’s angry.  She probably regrets what I did already.  From her reactions I was sure I did it right.  I tasted her heat, the moisture when she came.  I felt her muscles tighten on my tongue.  I felt her orgasm more intensely than I felt my own.

“Did I do it wrong?” I ask.  She doesn’t answer me.  She just continues to get dressed.  “I can try again, if you want.”

When she turns toward me, her eyes are no longer flat.  They are full of rage.  She’s teeming with it.  I can’t remember seeing anyone so furious, since the time I decided I was going to drive my mom’s car when I turned sixteen, to get back at them for not teaching me how, to show them that I could do it, and I immediately wrecked it into the garage and fucked up not only her car but also the house.  After three weeks my mom suggested driving lessons, but the damage was done.  I didn’t want to get behind the wheel of a car ever again, until I met Rey.  There were so many things I never thought I’d do until I met her.  And now I’ve fucked up again. 

“Rey, I’m…”

“Don’t you dare say you’re fucking sorry!”  She’s yelling.  She’s furious.  And she’s staring at me like I’m disgusting.  Like the girls in high school.  She stands up and storms out of the room.  And I sit here, like a moron, afraid to follow her.  I’m afraid of her, afraid of her rejection.  Afraid of her anger. 

I’m afraid of her.  She’s perfection, and I’m not worthy of her.

I hear the front door slam, and I know she’s gone. 

_The auction._

I had to say it out loud like that.  Just so casually, after she gave herself to me so sweetly. 

“Fuck,” I say aloud to no one, to an empty bedroom.  Because I’m alone again.  Perpetually, eternally alone.

That’s when I notice her purse is laying on the floor by the edge of the bed.  She must have thrown it down when she crawled up here.  My mind replays every blissful second since I found her there.  The softness of her glittering eyes.  Her pretty lips and the tilt of her heart-shaped face, challenging me to kiss her.  Her legs around my waist, her weight against me. 

I grab her purse, and hurry down the hall.  Maybe I can still catch her.  Maybe I can stop her.  Maybe I can convince her not to leave me.

When I reach the kitchen I see her, leaning against the front door, facing it, with her arms wrapped around herself. 

I take a few steps closer, and say, “You forgot this.”

“Yea.  Thanks,” she says, and walks toward me.  But she stops and extends her hand. 

“You’re angry, about the auction,” I say, as I take another step. 

“No, I’m not mad.  I should have known.”  She doesn’t say anything else.  And we’re facing each other, but she’s not looking at me.  She doesn’t move away from the door.  She’s ready to run, as soon as she gets her purse.

I don’t want her to run.  I take another step.

“I would have paid you.  That’s all I meant.  If you weren’t a virgin, I would have given you the money.”  It made sense in my head, when I said it.  When I _thought_ it.  But now I wish I’d never spoken the words, even though I know I can’t take it back.

“I have to cancel it now.  At least I had that to look forward to.  Now I have nothing.” 

I take another step, and she grabs her purse.  I hold it for a moment, and she tugs at it.  It feels like a tug of war, over more than just the purse.

“You have me.”  I hear my own voice crack.  I’m so afraid of her.  Why can’t she see that?  I’m terrified she’ll leave me. 

She finally looks at me.  The anger is gone, but her eyes are empty again.  She looks like a shell of herself. 

“When I was fifteen, I was…”  She shakes her head, and looks up.  I can see tears welling up in her eyes, but she’s fighting them so hard.  “I was all arms and legs, bad hair and even worse skin.  You can imagine, with my diet.  I was a mess.  And then the cutest boy in the school said he’d be my boyfriend, if I’d have sex with him.  I was going to do it, too, because what did I know about anything?  But a teacher pulled me aside and showed me his social media sites.  He was talking about scoring a virgin, and he added _my name_.  I’d never really trusted boys anyway because of the group home.  I’ve just had a terrible time with men.”

Her eyes find mine again, and she seems as determined as she was the first day I met her at the coffee shop, when she handed me her business model that I didn’t even read. 

“I wanted you more than I can say.  But I decided to go on with the auction because I wanted to have my own money and not have to depend on you.  I thought about not going through with it, because I felt like I was betraying you.  But you already knew and you said nothing.”  She chuckles but there’s no mirth in it, and shakes her head again.  A tear escapes her eyes and rolls down her cheek.  She flicks it away as if it’s nothing.  “I trusted you, Ben.”

I take another step, and she steps back, right into the door.  “You _can_ trust me, Rey.  I’m still the same man.  I knew about the auction and I wanted you.  That doesn’t matter to me.” 

“Did you bid on the auction?” she asks.

“Of course,” I answer honestly. 

“Of course,” she says with a smirk.  “How much?”

“As much as it takes.”  She scoffs, not liking my answer at all.  I release her purse, and quickly grab her hand.  “I thought if I won, then you could have the money you needed, and I’d have…”

“You’d buy me?” 

I shake my head.  “I don’t want to own you.  You’re not property.”

“You’re right.  I’m nothing.  I came from nothing.  All I have of worth is my virginity.”  She pulls away from me again, and opens the door.

“Why can’t you understand?  I’d give you the money either way.  _You_ were the one who offered the auction.  It’s not my fault that I bid.” 

She turns to me, and she seems even more angry for some reason.  “I don’t want your money, Ben.  I suggest you don’t bid.”

Then she steps outside of my condo and the door closes behind her. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's heart is breaking. Ben's. Rey's. Mine. No one gets out unscathed.
> 
> On a high note, we're up to 562 kudos! Yay! Thanks everyone for reading, and sharing, and leaving kudos and comments!


	25. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've added two chapters at the same time, as they both cover the same time frame for Rey and Ben.

**Rey - Twenty-Five**

 

“Fuck!” I murmur.  Nothing has gone right lately.  I can’t get this fucking oil plug off, even though I’m positive I’m the one who put it on.  

“You can change an oil filter in your sleep, Rey.  What’s wrong?” Finn asks. 

“Nothing,” I call out.  I didn’t mean to swear loud enough for him to hear me, but I guess there wasn’t any chance he wouldn’t.

He’s been lingering at my elbow for almost week now, while I’m not in class.  And when Finn’s working Rose is there, to ask me if I want to help her cook or binge watch something on Netflix.  Paige has even wanted to hang out.  Well, she’s asked me to take her to class and to her new boyfriend’s house.  She’s also set up a night out at the club for tonight.  She likes me chauffeuring her around in the convertible. 

I still have it only because my Jaguar hadn’t been delivered yet, until yesterday anyway.  When I stepped outside to head to class, my beautiful car was parked near the door with a big red bow on it.  To me it’s just as beautiful as the black car I found sitting in almost the same parking spot less than a week ago.  My car was painstakingly restored, and it is gorgeous.  The chrome mirror on the drivers’ side door was replaced, the hubcaps are all there, and the rust is all gone.  It’s been painted the perfect gold, and the seats are magnolia, and as soft as Ben’s hair.

I close my eyes, and sigh loudly.  I need to stop thinking about Ben.  And _nothing_ is as soft as his hair.

“Ow fuck!” I cry out, as the wrench slips and scrapes the skin between my thumb and pointer finger.  I slide the creeper out from under the car, and stare at my hand.  It’s scratched but not bleeding, thank God.

Finn bends down beside me, and surveys the damage.  “Do you need a band aid?  Some antibiotic ointment?” 

“Do you want to kiss it better?” I wonder, with maybe a little too much snark.  He frowns at me, so much that I feel bad about my sass level.  “Sorry.  It’s just that you’re hovering.  It’s been less than a week, and I don’t need a nanny.”

“I’d believe that, if you were acting like the Rey I know.  But you’re not.  You’re cussing at cars, and locking yourself in your bedroom.”  His concern for me is obvious in his dark eyes and his furrowed brow. 

“It’s the only time I can be alone,” I mutter as I look away, so I don’t have to see his worry any longer.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be alone,” he says gently, and places his hand on my shoulder.

“We weren’t even dating Finn!  I knew him for like, three days.  Three days, Finn!”  It comes out much louder than I expected it to.  I squint up my eyes tightly, because I have no idea why they’re watering. 

“Maybe you should talk to Dr. Kanata,” Finn suggests. 

“I don’t need to talk to a psychiatrist!” I snap. 

“Are you sure?” he murmurs. 

I push the wheeled creeper back under the car, and begin the oil change again. 

“Poe is going out with us tonight.  He can’t wait to see you,” Finn says, loud enough so that I can hear him.

“That’s great.”  I hear my own sarcasm.  That’s all I need, to have Finn and Rose both pushing Poe and I together all night.  Their Rey Dameron fantasy is _not_ going to happen, especially not after Ben. 

“Damn it!” I exclaim, as I finally get the plug off, and oil spills out into my hair.  I place the drum I use to capture the dirty oil under it, before I can do any more damage, and slide back out while it drains.  “Hand me that towel, please,” I say, and motion toward it.

“I’ve got to grab a passenger.  Are you going to be okay?” he enquires, as he hands me the towel.

“I’m fine.  I promise,” I answer, as I try to clean the oil from my hair.

“Think about talking to Dr. Kanata.  It might help.”  He walks away before I can make yet another sarcastic comment.  I sit up, and glance over at the pretty convertible that Ben bought for me.  Today is the last day I’ll drive it, for sure.  I’ll drop it back at his condo tonight, and have Finn pick me up on the way to the club.  _If_ I go to the club.  I’m just not sure I’m in the mood.  I don’t want to bring everyone else down, any more than I already have. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was short, but I think it gives enough information about what Rey has gone through over the days since she walked away. Let me know what you think. Also... almost 600 kudos! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!?!?!?!?!?!


	26. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've added two chapters at the same time, as they both cover the same time frame for Rey and Ben.

“Mom?” I say into the phone. 

“Ben?  Twice in one week?  Is everything okay?” my mom, Senator Leia Organa-Solo, asks immediately, her tone expressing an unusual amount of panic.

“I need to know where you are, and I need the name of the best lawyer you know.”  I’m trying my hardest to make my voice sound even, normal, but it’s hard.  I realize that I’ve hurt Rey, terribly, horribly, and I don’t know how to fix it.  I don’t even know what I’ve done.  I thought she would appreciate the fact that I would bid as much as I had to, whatever amount, everything I own, so that she would not have to have her first sexual experience with someone she doesn’t know, some internet creep that saw her picture, and decided to buy a small, precious, inexperienced woman’s most prized possession.

Wait… that internet creep is me.  I am the one who saw her picture and decided I wanted her, and would spend my money and use my power to get her.  I knew when I first saw the website that I should just close down the auction and…

“First call you ask for dating advice.  The second you say you need a lawyer.  What have you gotten yourself into this time, Ben Solo?”  Wow, she can still turn on that chastising, mom tone at a moment’s notice.

“No, I don’t need a defense lawyer.  I need a corporate attorney.  And, I think I need a private investigator as well.  I’ll tell you when I see you.  Where are you?”

“D.C.  I’m sponsoring a new internet privacy bill.  You’re welcome at the town house any time.  I’ll call BB and ask him to make sure your room is ready.” 

 

That was Monday, after she left me, which was five days ago.  I’ve been working what feels like every moment of every day since I woke up Tuesday morning in my mom’s town house in DC.  It’s Saturday now, and I think I’m close to the point where I’ve figured it all out and I can return to her.

It feels good to be back under the same roof as my mother, with her trusted majordomo BB taking care of my every need.  I need to hire a butler, I decide, especially when Rey moves in.  _If_.  If she moves in with me.

I’m sitting in the study, surrounded by law books, biographies and memoirs, ensconced in dark built in bookshelves.  This room is all dark wood and burgundy leather, and nothing at all like the rest of the house, which is lacy and girly.  Mom calls this her power room.  I never thought she had to sacrifice her femininity to be powerful.  But I’ve learned a lot in the last few days, about my mother, and myself. 

Tuesday morning before she headed out, we had a short conversation over breakfast.  I told her what I’d done, and she gave me a withering look before she rolled her eyes. 

“I haven’t met Rey yet, and I already like her,” she said as she ruffled my hair.  “And get this mop cut!” she continued before she headed out to save the world.

That afternoon I met with a partner at her personal lawyer’s firm, who specializes in corporate law.  We worked out a plan to create a holding company, and vested it with twenty million dollars.  Then I entrusted the lawyer with a copy of Rey’s business plan, and asked him to look it over and decide whether her plan was worthy of the investment.  I also read over her business plan, finally, on the plane ride to DC, but I have literally no business experience.  I’m a computer nerd who lucked into all the success I’ve achieved.

Later that afternoon I wrote her a letter, and put it in the mail.  I thought that would be easier than several text messages. 

Tuesday evening mother decided that I would be her escort for a night out, including a book signing, and dinner at her club where she introduced me as her entrepreneur billionaire son, as if she knew I’d succeed eventually and not stay the introverted screw up who couldn’t drive or get a date.  All her colleagues fawned over me, and somehow also managed to ask me for money.  That was the point that I realized how wrong I was to even consider the idea that Rey is a gold digger.  She obviously has her shit together in a way I never have.

It became even more embarrassingly obvious when the lawyer called me on Wednesday to let me know that I would be foolish not to invest, and asked if he could call some of his other clients with the unusual and potentially lucrative opportunity. 

“That would mean more money for Rey, or Miss Jakku’s startup?” I asked.

“I fully expect her to pass the startup phase in less than a year.  I see this project going into full production within five years.  The US market is hungry for more and more fuel efficiency, and I believe this engine could be the answer.  Your girl has done a lot of research, and…”

“She’s not my girl.  She’s an intelligent business woman who happens to be an acquaintance,” I interrupted.

“Yes, of course Mr. Solo.  I never meant to imply anything else,” the lawyer apologized.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to entrust Rey’s success to this guy, but I did research on him and found that he had no unnecessary debt, no weird kinks, and no young mistresses.  And by researched I mean hacked.

“Go forward with it.  But remember, I expect you to have set up a meeting with her by Monday.”

Wednesday afternoon I met with the private investigator.  I asked him to find Rey’s parents.  I don’t know if she knows who they are or not, but I would like to be the one to present her with the information, if she wants to know.

And I’ve spent the rest of the time keeping updated on their progress, while also trying to trace the person who is bidding on Rey’s auction.  I have the website up right now, trying to trace the latest bid, when my mother walks in.

“When are you planning on returning to Cambridge?” she asks.  When I open my mouth to argue, she gives me a knowing look and stops me.  “I know you want to go back to Rey.”  She curls up on the leather couch beside me, wearing a pair of sweat pants and a crimson Harvard sweatshirt.  Her normally intricately braided hair is in a simple bun.  She looks relaxed, and happy.  “I really can’t wait to meet her.”

“Rey idolizes you, so you might not be too happy when you finally do meet her.  She’s very outspoken, and vivacious.  She’s…”  I stop, and return my gaze to the screen.

“Everything you’re not,” she finishes, knowingly.  I nod.  “You don’t have to worry that you’ll end up like your father and I did.”  I again start to argue with her, but she shushes me.  “You were always so much like me, too smart for your own good.  You’re too hard, Ben.  You were such a soft, sweet child.”

“Don’t, mother.  It’s too late for that.”  I shake my head as I say it.  It’s about fifteen years past the time to talk about all the teenage bullshit I went through.  She didn’t have time to listen then. 

“You could talk to your father,” she actually suggests. 

“Yea, that worked so well back then,” I remind her.

“Ben, your shoulders are huge, but you can’t keep carrying the past around on them.  One of these days your knees are gonna buckle.”

Rey made my knees buckle.  I nearly fell down after I came.  I still can’t wrap my head around that.  But since it happened, I’ve craved it.  Craved _her_.  I want her like a drug addict must want their next fix.  I go to sleep with an erection, thinking about her, and I wake up the same way. 

“Mom, am I ugly?” I ask.  Before she can answer, I finish my thought.  “Answer like you’re not my mother.”

She places her hand under my chin, trying to make me face her.  I fight it for several moments, too embarrassed by my question, until I finally look up at her.  She looks at me, really surveys me for the first time in a long time, and then she gives me a gentle smile.  “You look more like your father every day.  Ben, he was so handsome all the girls wanted him.  And your mom, well I was very sought after at Harvard if I do say so myself.”  And then she places both her hands on my shoulders.  “You are so much taller and stronger than your father.”  She chuckles as she pats my shoulders, a little rougher than I’m comfortable with.  “Whoever you fall in love with will be a lucky woman.”

I shake my head.  I bet Rey doesn’t feel lucky right now.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is easy enough to understand. I hope I didn't jump around too much.  
> Again, almost 600 kudos! AHHHHHHHHH!


	27. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little more from Rey. She needs all the help she can get.  
> I mean... Ben has Leia Skywalker freakin' Organa-Solo.  
> Rey deserves a little Maz Kanata.

**Rey - Twenty-Seven**

 

When I’m finally finished with the oil change, I head up to Dr. Kanata’s office.  She is a petite woman with big glasses and short gray hair.  She’s the university’s mental health counselor, and she’s my best customer. 

Her door is open, and I enter quietly and place her keys on her desk.  Her office feels very Zen, and I always feel something approaching reverence when I enter it.  I wait for her to speak, because I’m always afraid I’ll barge into the middle of some important work. 

She glances up at me, and she gives me her wise, knowing smile.  “Sit, child.”  She motions to her chair with one hand, while gathering her wallet with the other.  She always has cash, which I appreciate.  “How have you been?” she asks, as she places the hand over her wallet.

I thought it was a little early for her oil to be changed, but I don’t keep a calendar I ask the customer to keep up with their mileage themselves.  And now I’ve figured out what’s going on.  “Who asked you to talk to me?  Was it Rose or Finn?”

“Rose may have come to me and told me her concerns.  But Rey, we all love you and care about you.  Don’t you understand that by now?”  Her voice is calm, her tempo slow, and her accent exotic.  No wonder she’s a counselor, just being around her and listening to her is soothing the ache that’s been gnawing at me for days.

“We only dated for three days, Dr. Kanata.  It’s not the epic love story that everyone’s trying to make it out to be,” I tell her.

“Everyone?” she asks me gently.

I sigh loudly, and realize that I’ve fallen for some kind of psychiatrist mind trick.  No matter what I say she’s going to analyze it.  “It was three days.  It was fun, but I have my whole life in front of me.”

She nods, knowingly.  “But you developed feelings for him.”

“It was only the hope, the possibility of something that could have been truly beautiful,” I admit.  “It’s the sadness of knowing it won’t come to fruition.  And it’s the anger from knowing that it’s his fault.”  I cross my arms in front of me, and look away.

“That’s a very mature way of looking at it, Rey.  It’s refreshing to see someone as young as you are having that kind of grasp on their own emotions.”  She says it, but she’s not moving her hand to open her wallet.

“Is that all?” I ask, and glance over at the leather purse.

She almost gives me a smirk.  “Rose mentioned something else that had bothered her.  She wouldn’t say what it was, but she said I should ask you.” 

“Oh, my God!  No she did not bring that up!” I exclaim.  And then I’m quiet again. 

“And you don’t want to discuss it?” she murmurs, sarcastically.

“No, I don’t.  I won’t,” I state, defiantly. 

“She says it’s risky, but it could be very rewarding.” 

I hadn’t thought about the risk.  I’d only thought about the reward.  Until Ben said the words out loud, I hadn’t thought much about the negatives, except that I wouldn’t be a virgin with Ben.  And now I don’t have Ben either.  But there’s the other side of it.  I have no idea who might be bidding.  Ben wouldn’t hurt me, I know that.  But there’s no way for me to know the intentions of the others bidding.  _If_ there are others bidding, that is. 

“It could be very rewarding, and it is risky,” I admit.  And then I realize it won’t hurt to open up to her a little.  “Ben, he has so much money.  His parents have money.  His mother’s family is old money.  I have nothing.  I came from nothing.  All I have is a dream and my mechanical aptitude.  The last thing I want is for anyone to think I want Ben for his money.”

“And he thinks that?” she prompts.

I nod my head.  It makes me feel so sad that he feels that way.  “Girls made him feel bad about himself when he was younger, and he has no confidence in himself.  He still feels like an ugly, unwanted teenager.”  She’s looking at me, waiting patiently for me to continue.  “I tell him I want him.  I tell him he’s sexy.  I tell him I’m attracted to him.  He just doesn’t believe any of it.”

“Touch him,” she suggests confidently.  My eyes grow wide.  “Touch says so much more than we can ever say with our voices.  The way you touch someone tells them how you feel about them.  Touch him gently, and smile encouragingly.”

I shake my head and look away.  That’s when I notice three words at the top of her sticky notes. 

_You are important._

I didn’t make Ben feel very important when I walked out on him.  I probably made him feel even worse, just because I felt bad.  And he was right, it wasn’t his fault that I made the auction.  He probably thought he was saving me, and he might have been.  That’s not the point.  The point is he didn’t tell me, and he waited until the worst possible time to bring it up.  And I fed on my own insecurities, and I took it out on him. 

“It’s all meaningless now.  Maybe I’ll use it for future reference.  I don’t think I’ll ever see Ben Solo again,” I say.  Her eyes grow wide momentarily, then she tries to hide it.  That’s right, he was a student here.  And Dr. Kanata has been here a very long time.  “You know him.”

“Ben Solo, such a precious, sensitive soul.  He is conflicted though.  You are right in your assessment of him.  He sees himself more critically than anyone else does.  He needs gentleness and a lot of patience.”  Before I can ask her about doctor patient confidentiality, she continues, “I’m saying this as a friend, not a doctor.  And I’m not giving anything away that you don’t already know yourself.  If you decide to be with him, and that’s completely up to you, please be kind to him.”  That’s when she grabs her wallet and pulls out some money. 

“Thank you, Dr. Kanata.”  I fold up the cash and shove it in my back pocket. 

I feel a little better now, but I still don’t know how to reach out to Ben.  Or if I’m ready.  When I reach the door, I turn back to her.  “Dr. Kanata, do you think a relationship between someone who has everything, and someone who has nothing, can work?”

“My dear child, you see yourself as critically as Ben sees himself.  Material things can be won and lost, bought and sold, but what you have is worth so much more than that.  You’re young, strong, and healthy.  You’re smart and beautiful.  And you have a determination about you that says you will succeed.  You will buy all the material things, I’m sure.  But true love is worth so much more than that.”  I nod my head, and grab the door handle.  “And if I’m truly being an agony aunt, I have to say this.  It isn’t a bad thing to fall in love with a man who has money, if you fall in love with the man and not the money.”  She smiles at her last bit of advice. 

I roll my eyes, and throw open the door.  “Thank you,” I exhale.

And as I walk through the building and outside, I do feel better.  It’s like a weight has lifted from me.  And as I take in the amazing car he bought for me, I can’t stop the smile that covers my face. 

He bought this car, for me.  Because he didn’t want me to have to return it.  Because he knew I was a sad child who had nothing, and he wanted to give me something I wanted.  Not to have sex with me, and not because he expected me to return the favor. 

I am the one who created the transaction for sex.  That’s on me, not him.

So I sit behind the wheel of the car, and think about calling him.  I pick up my phone, and see a text from Rose.  _You should be here, washing the oil out of your hair!_

Yes, I should be, I think as the car roars to life.


	28. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to BunnyJonez who took time out of her day today to talk me through a few things. This chapter wasn't one of the things we talked about, it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I hope everyone gets a kick out of it, like I did while writing it.  
> I blame the google searches. It's their fault.
> 
> This chapter has been edited to clarify the "tucking" comment.

**Ben - Twenty-Eight**

 

Mom convinced me to fly back to Rey, and even arranged for me to catch a ride with the junior senator from Massachusetts on his private plane.  I guess sometimes it is nice to have the right friends.  She said I should go because he was flying out, but I think she had an ulterior motive.  I think she’s at an age where she wants grandkids, and I think I might just be at the age to agree with her.

Or maybe it’s just because I met Rey.  She’s made me want to do so many things I thought I never would.  I mean, I know she wouldn’t want to have kids immediately, but I’m not getting any younger. 

Or maybe I’m deluding myself, and she’s forgotten about me.  She hasn’t texted me, not one single time, since I saw her Monday.  Then again, she was very angry at me.  I just hope that I can convince her to give me another chance. 

But that hope lessens, considerably, when my ride share driver, who is not Rey’s friend Finn, drops me off at the fourth floor parking level for the condo, and I see the convertible I bought her parked opposite the SUV, in the second spot for my unit.  I tip the driver generously, and she grabs my bags out of her trunk, but my eyes are on the car. 

She must notice, because she says, “That whip is lit.”  I nod, expecting that to be the end of it.  But no.  “That looks just like the ride Rey’s been driving around campus.  She must be here visiting someone.”

And instead of thinking the worst, as I usually do, I think maybe Rey is here.  But I didn’t tell her I’d be here, and she doesn’t have a key. 

“Thanks,” I say, and make my way toward the condo, knowing in my heart she’s not here.  But when I arrive at my door, I find an envelope taped to it.  _Ben_ is written on the outside, in careful print as if her writing isn't all that great but she's trying really hard to make it look good.  I tear it open, with my heart in my stomach and a distinct sense of dread. 

 

_Ben,_

_Thank you for the letter you sent me.  I listened to the Dave Matthews Band songs you suggested._ Crush _was my favorite too.  I have missed you too.  I thought about you a lot in the last few days.  I realize that I was just as angry at you as I am at myself.  I got a call from a lawyer who’d like to meet with me on Monday to discuss financing my start up.  He said he represented several potential investors, but I’m sure he just meant you.  If it is you, just tell me.  I don’t want to find out later that you were behind it.  I left the car you graciously allowed me to borrow while you were having my car restored.  I can’t begin to tell you how beautiful it is, and I can’t thank you enough.  When you get this, you can text me.  If you want._

_Rey_

 

It was not as bad as I thought it would be.  But I didn’t just buy the car so she could borrow it.  I bought it _for_ her. 

When I’m inside the condo, I leave my bags by the door, and pull out my phone.  Of course I’m going to text her.

_Hi.  I’m back in town, and I’d like to see you if you want._

I hit send, then I notice the time on my phone.  It’s almost ten o’clock on a Saturday night.  What if she’s out?  What if she’s on a date with someone else?  If she doesn’t answer, I’ll assume the worst. 

I grab my bags to carry them back to the bedroom.  I might as well schedule my flight back to Manchester now.  I pull up the travel app on my phone, and just as I open the calendar I receive a text.  It’s _her_.

_Hi!  Hey Ben!  Did you get my letter_?  This is followed by several different faces, bottles, and glasses of wine and beer.  I’m assuming wherever she is, she’s drinking.

I sit down on my bed, and think about how I should reply.  Do I tell her it’s obvious I got her letter and that’s why I texted?  Or do I tell her I was thinking of her, and wanted to see her.  I did tell her I was back in town, so she should know I got her letter.

Before I can reply, I get another text.  _Hey Ben!  Just heard this song, and I thought of U._ And then she attaches a Youtube link. 

I click on it, of course, because why wouldn’t I?  The song is _Clarity_ by Zedd.  Listening to the lyrics, knowing she thought of me when she heard it, makes my hands shake.  If our love’s insanity, why are you my clarity?  Our love.  **OUR LOVE**?!?  I’m trying very hard to breathe, but I’m not sure I can, or if I’ll ever be able to again.

While the song is still playing, I get another text.

_Hey Ben!  Rose took this pic of me.  What do U think?_

She attaches a picture, and I nearly drop the phone.  She’s wearing a long sleeve top that is nothing but white lace that hangs off her shoulders and exposes her entire midriff, a nude slip of material that barely covers her breasts under it, and a white skirt that looks so short it might be illegal.  Plus, her hair hangs in messy waves around her beautiful face, and her dimples are showing and her eyes are sparkling.

_Where are you?_   I have to know.  I have to go to her.  Someone will talk to her.  Someone will definitely hit on her.  I have to look good, or as good as I can.  I have the black suit I took to DC in the garment bag, hopefully it’s not wrinkled.  And I have a black dress shirt in the closet.  I always keep two suits here, because I know my mom will want to go somewhere formal.  I strip out of the tan dress slacks and blue oxford I wore on the plane as I walk toward the closet, and I catch a glimpse of myself in just my white boxer briefs in the full length mirror hanging on the closet door.  It was there when I bought the condo, and I didn’t remove it knowing I could simply close the door. 

Instead of looking away from my reflection immediately as I normally do, I look at myself.  I am tall, taller than my father.  I was a gangly nerd in high school, which is one of the reasons I work out obsessively.  But now…

My mother was right, my shoulders are huge now.  My pecs are defined.  My biceps are huge from all the pull ups and push ups I do.  I have abs.  So why do I still feel like that skinny sixteen year old who couldn’t even get a kiss during spin the bottle?

Mom was right about something else, I need a haircut.  But I love the way Rey’s finger’s feel when she’s tugging at it, pulling me into her perfect, glorious vagina.  I glance down past my abs when I feel the erection that I’ve had since I saw the envelope on my door begin to throb and grow when I think about giving Rey oral sex. 

**_I ate Rey out, and she came all over my face._ **

My penis gets even bigger at the memory, which I still can't believe really happened, and extends way past the waistband of my underwear, toward my navel.  I’ve always been so ashamed of it, because I was teased about the naturally occurring erections I experienced as a teenager.  But now… apparently women like men with big dicks. 

Yes, I read the sex books.  All of them.  I’ve had five days, and I wasn’t spending _all_ of my time questioning lawyers and PIs. 

My phone pings and I tear myself away from the mirror.  I never, ever thought I’d actually want to look at myself.  Before I can get to the phone, it pings again.  Rey is very chatty for someone who didn’t text me for five days.  Maybe all she was waiting for was me texting her first.  I wish I had known that all week.

She’s sent me her location, and a link to another video.  I touch the link, and let the song play as I’m getting dressed.  I pull on the black pants, and I can’t help but notice how slim my hips look, and the V above my waistband.  Is this what Rey sees when she looks at me?  I have to push my dick into my underwear, so it’s not in the way when I button my slacks. I feel a tingle of pleasure when the backs of my fingers brush against it, and now I realize that is completely natural. But I don't want to do it by myself. I want to discover it with Rey.

Then I pull on my shirt, and leave two buttons open as I listen to _I Don’t Wanna Live Forever_.  Then I pull on my jacket, black on black.  I walk to the bathroom, where I brush my teeth and swish with mouthwash, spritz on cologne, and brush my hair. 

Maybe, just maybe, I’ll look good enough that she notices.  I stare at myself once more in the mirror.  Maybe I don’t look like a monster.  I take a picture and send it to her, before opening the Passenger app.  My driver will be arriving in three minutes. 

As I gather my wallet and keys, I hear my phone ping again.

_Paige thinks Ur hot as fuck.  I might havta fight for U tonight._

I smile, lock the door, and step out to wait on my ride.  I send her a message back.  _How do you think I look?_

I’m climbing in the back of the car when she answers.  _Hot enuf to fuck._

I take another selfie so she can see my grin.  I almost have a moment of, who the fuck am I now?  But I push it back.  Tonight I know who I am.  _I_ am the man Rey wants.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does Adam have "THE V" or not?  
> It was hard work, but I googled "Adam Driver shirtless" and stared at each one of them. In some pictures he has the V. In others, he doesn't. For aesthetic purposes, I'm going with the V.  
> I googled "Adam Driver lips", and "Adam Driver suit" too. I had to. Research. I want this to be perfect. :)  
> Also... does anyone out there reading this create mood boards? And would you want to create one for Auction? How do you see my interpretation of Ben and Rey?
> 
> Thanks everyone for reading, commenting, and for all the kudos. I sincerely appreciate the positivity.


	29. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All fluff, ZERO angst! Reunited and it feels _oh so good_! Maybe there's a little angst. Don't come at Rey's man. She's not playing with you.

**Rey - Twenty-Nine**

 

_“Ooh, don’t we look good together?  There’s a reason why they watch all night long.  Yeah, know we’ll turn heads forever, so tonight I’m gonna show you off.”_

Bruno Mars’ smooth voice is pumping out of the speakers, and Rose, Paige, Finn and I are on the floor dancing, when I feel a subtle change in my my surroundings.  I’m giggling at Finn, who is lip syncing perfectly to the song as if he’s performing on stage for Rose and Rose alone.  Rose’s face is blood red, but she’s laughing too.

But for the first time ever, Finn isn’t the center of attention.  Girls dancing around me are glancing up at the balcony where everyone enters the club, and whispering to each other. 

“What the…” I mutter, right before Rose grabs my chin and angles my head so I’m looking up too.  And that’s when I see him.  Everyone else has already noticed the hot guy in the black suit.  Everyone is looking at him, but his dark eyes are only on me.  I’m trying to keep my smile an uninterested smirk, but I’m losing.  He takes a few steps closer to the banister, and drapes his arms over it casually.  His gaze, though, is so intense it makes me shiver.  I continue to dance, even though I really can’t, but I keep moving because he’s watching. 

When the song ends, Justin Timberlake takes over.  _Filthy_ begins to play, and the rhythm of the dance changes and the lights start pulsing.  My hips and shoulders move as if on their own.  Finally I look up at Ben when I hear, _“Put your filthy hands all over me.”_ He’s still watching me, as if he can’t take his eyes off me.  And I crook my finger, trying to get him to come to me. 

I expect him to shake his head, to resist.  But I’m shocked when he steps away, and moves toward the spiral staircase.  I watch him move, and he doesn’t walk like someone who sits in front of a computer all day.  Then again, I’ve seen what he’s hiding under that suit.  He might have the mind of a genius, but he has the body of an athlete.

“He’s coming down here,” Paige informs me, loudly.  As if I don’t already know.  As if I’m the only person in the bar not watching the big, tall, good looking man with all that perfect dark hair that might actually be bouncing.  He’s practically striding to the beat.

People step away and allow him to walk past, but their eyes stay on him, men, women, everyone.  Everyone is looking at him, and then he’s standing in front of me.

“Hey, Ben,” I say, when I tip my head back to gaze into his eyes.

He leans forward, and his lips ghost over mine as his hands find my shoulders.  Then his lips moves toward my ear, so he can whisper, “You look beautiful.”  Even in the loud club, in the middle of the crowd, I hear him. 

I wrap my arms around his neck, and somehow we’re moving together, just like we did in his living room.  The music might be faster, but I’m not sure either of us even hears anything other than the other’s heartbeat. 

“I’ve never seen anyone look as sexy and innocent as you do right now,” he says, before he grabs me under my arms and lifts me up so that my chest is against his.  I giggle at how strong he is, how easy it is for him to lift me, and kick my legs behind me. 

“Ben!” I exclaim, right before I kiss him.  I feel exhilarated, excited, and it’s not all because of the alcohol.  That’s not all I feel either.  I feel his hard dick, straining against my stomach.  Every muscle inside me clenches.  Now that I know how an orgasm feels, I want it again.  I want to wrap my legs around his waist, right here in the middle of the crowd, social propriety be damned.  Instead, I kiss his lips, then I kiss his cheek, and his ear before I say, “You look amazing.”

Then he gently sits me down, rubbing my body against his hard length, before he kisses my forehead sweetly.  I shiver, and I can’t contain my smile now, I don’t even try, as I look up at him.  I’m sure he can see every one of my emotions, every feeling, shining in my eyes.

His are sparkling too, even in the dark club, and the dimple in his right cheek is obvious.  He is gorgeous, and we are the center of attention. 

“Hey, girl, we’re gonna go sit down.  Come on.”  Paige interrupts our private interaction and grabs my hand, intent on dragging me off the floor.  I quickly reach for Ben’s hand at the exact moment Paige spins me around, and the three of us march toward the back.  That’s when I see Finn half standing, waving to us from a booth.  When I make eye contact he nods, and sits down beside his beautiful girlfriend, who is absolutely glowing tonight.

I sit down across from Rose, and tug on Ben’s hand until he sits in the booth beside me.  When we’re sitting beside each other, he interlaces our fingers, and I lean my arm against his and lay my head on his shoulder. 

“Let me in,” Paige insists, and shoves at Ben’s shoulder. 

I feel him tense up, and I glare at Paige.  “Sit by Finn,” I insist.

Her shoulders slump and her head falls back as she shakes it, in an overly exaggerated _whatever_ , and climbs into the booth beside Finn.

“So, ladies and _gentleman_ , this is Ben Solo,” I announce.  He leans his head forward, and I can see his cheeks, and his ears, have turned pink. 

“Hi Ben.  Is that suit Armani?  You wear it so well,” Paige declares, and I don’t know whether to be angry or very, very proud.  She’s had a little more to drink than me, and she’s being maybe a little _too_ truthful.

“I think so,” Ben answers, then glances over at me.  His right hand wraps around mine, and I can tell he’s nervous.  I nod, and give him a grin that shows the dimples I know he likes.  His eyes always leave mine briefly to take them in. 

“Ben, I work for you!” Finn states excitedly.

Ben's lips purse together.  I knew he was shy, reserved.  Perhaps I didn’t realize how much.  Maybe he’d relax with a fruity, frozen drink.  I put my hand over his, and gently rub circles over his knuckles.  Then I nod, encouragingly. 

“Rey told me,” he says, before he glances up at Finn.  “How do you like it?”

“I love it.  I get paid to drive, I set my own hours, and I’m doing a valuable service for the community.  I couldn’t be happier.”  He says it, but I know it’s only half true.  I know his first love is racing, just like mine, and it always will be.  Speed is in our blood.  “How about you, do you like being an enigmatic, reclusive billionaire?”

I’m stunned when he says it, and I hold my breath for half a second.  “I’m not Batman,” he says seriously.

Finn stares at him for a second, and Ben stares back.  And then Finn laughs, and Ben smiles, and I feel like the ice is broken between the two of them.

“But I mean you _could_ be, if you wanted to.  You’re wearing all black, you’re taller than Ben Affleck, and you’re built like a superhero.”

“I’m not sure I’m taller than Ben Affleck,” he counters. 

At that moment a waitress in a little, and I mean _little_ , black dress arrives at the table.  “What can I get for you?” she asks as she leans toward Ben, showing him her ample cleavage.

Just when he was starting to loosen up a little, this happens.  He frowns at her, and looks at the table again.

“I think first, we’d all appreciate it if you’d put those away.  They are lovely, really, and I’m sure you’re very proud of them.  But no one at the table wants to see them tonight.  Thank you anyway,” I say, maybe a little too loudly.

“I do.  I want to see them,” Paige says, a little too flirty. 

“Not tonight Paige,” Rose groans, and reaches around Finn to smack her sister in the shoulder.

“I’d like a rum and diet Coke,” Paige orders, with a wink.

“Beer on tap.  And not that artisan, organic crap either.  Something American, and strong,” Finn says with a distinct, manly nod, then looks at Ben. 

I feel some kind of strange bro challenge coming on.  Ben Solo is not a bro.

“Jack and Coke,” Rose says confidently.  She does know how to drink.  I like that about her.

“I’d like a vodka and Sprite Zero, with a lime please,” I say politely.

Then it’s Ben’s turn.  He glances at Finn, before he looks back at me.  I’m fairly certain Ben doesn’t drink, but it hasn’t really come up until now.  “Just a diet Coke,” he says.  I smile at him.  I hope it’s comforting.  I don’t want him to be anyone he doesn’t want to be.

“Got it.  Sounds good,” the waitress says, and takes one more glance at Ben, but he’s looking at me. 

Hastag sorry not sorry ladies, Ben Solo is _all_ mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I'm not making any money off of this little fan fic, so I'm not trying to break any trademark laws by mentioning the lyrics of Bruno Mars and Justin Timberlake songs. I had my Youtube open, and I thought, hey, these would be good songs for the club setting.  
> And yes, the more I listen to Filthy, the more I like it. Love it. Groove to it.  
> Also, I happen to like vodka and Sprite Zero, especially if the vodka is citrus or lemon lime. Everyone in my fic is adults, and old enough to drink. Not encouraging under age drinking at all here.
> 
> I am so happy about all the positive feedback Auction is getting. And... I'm so extremely happy with the mood board BunnyJonez made for Auction!!! I can't begin to tell you how long I looked at it and smiled! Thank you for all the positive vibes, Bunny! You can find it on my AO3 tumblr [here](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/tcotsao3)


	30. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben... Ben... (Adam!) You're a swan now! Spread those wings!

**Here is BunnyJonez lovely, wonderful, MAGNIFICENT mood board!**

****

 

 

**Ben - Thirty**

 

Rey is flawless tonight, from her chestnut waves to the dramatic makeup that makes her eyes look more green and gold than brown, like a forest drenched in sunlight.  Her smile could light up the entire bar.  And her outfit blurs the line between sweet and seductive with all that white lace and that super short skirt.  I have my hand on her thigh, and all I feel is her skin and it’s making me want to get down on my knees under the table, part her thighs, and take what I’ve been missing.

But we’re not alone, I’m reminded, when one of the other two girls at the table says, “Hi Mr. Solo, I’m Rose Tico, and I will be graduating magna cum laude in May.  I’m looking for the right company that will benefit from my knowledge.  Does Passenger need support personnel?”

I can’t help smiling, because that has to be the best request for a job I’ve heard so far.  I release Rey’s hand to pull the pencil and tiny notepad out of the inner pocket of my jacket, and begin writing.  And once I’m finished, I hand the note to Rose.  “That’s my assistant Mitaka’s email.  Send him your resume.”

I can see the wonder and excitement sweep over her face, and then she smiles brightly.  She raises her hand to Finn, who immediately slaps it without even looking up.

I take Rey’s hand under the table again, and her other hand moves to rest on my upper thigh.  I shiver at the rush of pleasure and undeniable anticipation the small, relatively modest touch sends through my body. 

She leans toward me to whisper, “That’s very sweet of you.”

I hear Rihanna’s haunting voice in the distance singing, _“Baby, this is what you came for.  Lightning strikes every time she moves.  And everybody’s watching her, but she’s looking at you.”_ I’ve always enjoyed music, like most people, but I never felt the lyrics like I do since I met Rey. 

The waitress brings our drinks, and Rey and Finn immediately pull out their wallets.  Rey hands a twenty to her, and says, “I’ve got ours,” and points at my soda.

Finn stares at Paige, who immediately looks away, but takes a sip of her drink.  “Girl I’m always buying your drinks,” he grumbles, as he hands the waitress a ten and a twenty.

I frown, and look over at Rey.  “Shouldn’t I buy your drink?”  I try to keep my voice low, but I feel like Rose heard me because she grins and kisses Finn on the cheek.

“It’s fine.  I invited you out to a bar, and I don’t mind buying your fizzy drink.”  She grabs my hand again, and places it back on her thigh.  She looks up at me through her sooty eyelashes, before she bites her bottom lip.  She has no idea how badly I want to explore her thighs, and what’s between them, but the nibble at her lip is too much.  I lean toward her and kiss her, firmly. 

It’s so unreal, almost like a dream.  I’m sitting with the most beautiful woman in the bar.  I’m touching her skin.  I can kiss her, and she’s kissing me back.  It’s blowing my mind, like literally. 

“Ben, doesn’t Rey look pretty tonight?  I did her hair and makeup.  I’d love to get my hands on your hair,” the girl they called Paige says.  I feel like I’m being hit on?  Not that I would know what that was like.  Even though I’m obviously here with Rey, and I’m totally into her.  Is that really what people do when they go out in a group?

I guess not, because Rose, who must be her sister, exclaims, “Paige, Rey looks like she will cut a bitch if they even look at Ben, and I swear I will let her if you keep it up.”

Paige scoffs, loudly.  “I can’t help it that he’s the hottest guy on the planet,” she huffs before she stands up and walks away.  She immediately gets lost in the sea of people on the dance floor.

“Did you ask her to do that?” I ask Rey, before I pull away from her lips to gaze down into her eyes. 

They go wide.  She’s obviously shocked.  “Why would I ask a girl, specifically my roommate who is going to get her ass kicked later I might add, to hit on you?”

“I thought maybe to boost…”  I look out of the corner of my eye at Finn and Rose, who are trying very hard not to stare at us.

“No way in hell, Solo.  I don’t even want another woman looking at you tonight.”  Her eyes rake over me in a way that makes me feel naked and exposed, and I like it.  “You do look fabulous, by the way.  There’s a gleam in your eyes.  You look a little bit dangerous.”  The hand that’s been rubbing back and forth on my thigh moves up my arm, and her fingers begin to play at the tips of my hair.  They gently brush against my ear.  I’ve been teased about them so much I’ve grown my hair out to hide them, but her soft fingertips on them makes my insides melt.  My fingers grab hold of her thigh, maybe too tight because she gasps.

The way she’s looking at me, smiling at me, touching me, is giving me more confidence than I’ve ever felt in my life.  It’s as if Monday didn’t happen, and we haven’t been apart for the last five days.  It’s so easy to just allow myself to be with her, to touch her back because I know she wants me to.  I can see it in her eyes, in her reactions.  Her cheeks have flushed bright pink, but she’s not embarrassed.  I lean forward to kiss her again, because I must. 

“Get a room, you two!” Finn teases.

Rey giggles and pulls away, but her eyes are still on mine.  I’ve never felt so good, so free, in all my life.  It’s almost as if the gloom and darkness that have been cast over me since adolescence were nothing but a dense fog, and they’ve been burned off with Rey’s light.

“The after party’s at our place, Ben, as usual.  We have a brand new bottle of tequila, a deck of cards, and…”

“Hey guys.  I just saw Paige and she told me where you were.”  I glance up at the voice, and it’s a guy, of course, from the masculine, vaguely familiar voice.  But he’s a classically handsome man, with dark curls, bronze skin, and a bright smile.  I can’t help but look away.  “Oh, my God!  Ben Solo!  Man, it’s been what?  Twelve years!”

Then he extends his hand to me, and I know if I don’t take it I’ll seem rude.  I don’t want Rey to think that of me.  So I shake it, but immediately pull away.

“You two know each other?” Rey asks.

I shake my head slightly.  I don’t want to go back to that place.  I feel like I’ve just escaped it.

Poe Dameron, my arch nemesis from school.  “Sure we do.  We went to school together.  Our mothers knew each other forever.” 

He makes it sound so simple, as if he wasn’t one of the kids who always made me feel so terrible about myself.  He didn’t bully me, or get physical with me.  But he was always one of the popular kids, and he didn’t care to laugh when the other kids made fun of me, or flat out ignore me when our parents were together at some function.  I remember once he was at our summer house in the Hamptons, and he spent the entire weekend acting like I was invisible.

I nod, but I don’t look up at him.

“How you doing buddy?” he asks, and pats my shoulder.  When I don’t budge like I did when I was younger, he chuckles.  “You’ve put on some muscle, haven’t you big guy?”

“Are you kidding me?  You should see him shirtless!  He’s incredible!” Rey exclaims.  Although I know Rey is complimenting me, her words only make me withdraw a little more. 

Especially when Poe speaks again.  “Oh, the virgins have seen each other naked?” he mocks.  “Maybe Rey isn’t…”

I take a deep breath, and pound my fist against the table so hard the drinks slosh over onto the table.  “ _Don’t_ talk about Rey that way.”

“Hey, it’s cool man.  I didn’t mean any disrespect toward Rey.  I was teasing.”  He takes the now empty seat beside Finn.  I wonder if he would have just walked away if I hadn’t exposed my temper.  But now, I have a feeling he might just linger, to dig deeper under my skin.  “I’m sorry, Rey.  I didn’t mean it that way.”

“It’s okay,” she says.  But I feel her eyes on me, and when I look over at her she seems almost worried.  “It’s okay,” she says this time, and I know she’s aiming it at me.

I nod slightly, but I grab her tighter.  Her hand slides under mine, and grips it.  Maybe I was holding her a bit too tight.

When the waitress returns, Poe says, “I’ll have a Corona with a lime, and I’m buying the next round for the table.”  This time she almost shoves her breasts in Poe’s face, and he looks his fill before he smiles up at her.  She smiles back and winks before she walks away, her ample hips swaying.

And just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, he says, “Hey Ben, I saw your father a couple days ago.  He’s investing in our racing team, and management wants him to do some press.  He’s still ruggedly handsome in that reckless yet easy going kind of way.”

I haven’t seen my dad in forever.  He didn’t even come home for Christmas last year.  I’m surprised my mother hasn’t divorced him by now, but she was probably stupid and didn’t have him sign a prenup.  She probably couldn’t get rid of him now without giving him half of everything.  She’s probably waiting on him to die, which with his lifestyle will probably be sooner than later.

“I need to find the restroom,” I say, which I believe is a convenient excuse to escape this uncomfortable reunion.  I need to just splash my face and take a breath, and I’ll be fine.

“Do you want me to show you?” Rey asks.  I shake my head and stand up.

“Wow!  Dude, you’re huge,” Poe exclaims when I stand up.

“I’m fine,” I assure her, and turn quickly to walk away.  I just need a minute or two alone, then I’ll be fine.

I skirt around the edge of the dance floor, and the music playing now is all crashing symbols and driving bass.  It’s discordant, like the emotions flowing through me now.  It only took that one face from the past to throw me back into it.  I feel like I shouldn’t be with Rey, that I don’t deserve her.  I feel like the gawky, awkward teenager I was. 

As I’m approaching the end of the huge room, where a neon sign over a door in the distance says _Restrooms_ , I feel a hand on my forearm.

I immediately think it’s Rey, and I quickly turn toward her.

Instead, it’s another familiar face from the past.  She’s still almost as pretty as she was when she called me disgusting and refused to kiss me in my parents’ bedroom.  I immediately pull away from her, but she takes another step toward me until the toes of our shoes almost touch.  I told Rey she didn’t age well, and it was only partially a lie.  She’s still pretty, I guess, but not as gorgeous and vibrant as Rey.  She’s lost the sparkle she had as a teenager.  I guess life will do that sometimes.

“I thought that was you.  Ben Solo!  Jesus, you’re fucking hot now!  How the hell did _that_ happen?”  She has the nerve to reach out and literally grab my bicep, as if she’s testing a loaf of bread.

“Lauren,” I say, as I take her wrist and remove her hand from my arm.

“You know I just saw Poe Dameron.  That’s strange, huh?  Did you see him?”  She places her other hand over mine.  Isn’t she getting the hint that I don’t want her to touch me?

“Umhmmm,” I murmur, and drop her wrist before I take another step away from her.

“I should have fucking kissed you that night,” she says.  And before I know what’s happening, she rushes forward and wraps her arms around my shoulders, and then she kisses me right on my lips. 

I pull away from her again, and declare, “I’m here with someone!”

“That doesn’t matter to me,” she replies.  Then she smiles a joyless smile, and continues, “Maybe I could join you two.”

“No!” I state, quite loudly, and before she can touch me again I practically run toward the bathroom.

I used to think about what would happen if I ever saw Lauren again.  I made up scenarios in my head where she would fall for me, that she would want me.  But when it happened it was just strange.  Strange, and extremely unsatisfying.  I would much rather have Rey, my sweet, precious Rey.  When I enter the bathroom I encounter a mirror.  I don’t immediately look away.  I stare at myself, and see someone I don’t recognize.  It is a bit of an ego boost, being hit on like that by both Lauren and Paige.  And what Poe said too.

Maybe I’m not a hideous monster after all.  Maybe I can be with Rey, and not feel like I don’t deserve her.  I mean, I’m not good enough for her obviously, but I don’t think _anyone_ would be.  But maybe I can allow myself to not feel like the repulsive, disgusting teenager I was.  Maybe…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALMOST 700 KUDOS! OVER 17,000 HITS!  
> I. AM. DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAGHHHHHH!!!!!!
> 
> Thank you everyone for sticking with my AU! Don't forget to comment, share, and leave kudos! More. MORE! MOOORE! (lol)


	31. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And then this happened, where drama ensues between Rey and Ben... again...
> 
>  
> 
> (Apparently the chapters were out of order here, so I had to fix it... I have NO IDEA how that happened!)

**Rey - Thirty-One**

 

I followed after him to make sure he was okay.  Like an idiot, again I was more worried about him than I was about myself.  Now I’m standing at the back of the dance floor, watching Ben kiss another girl.  She’s hot, blonde, and has amazing tits.

I turn away quickly and stride back toward Rose and Finn as fast as my borrowed heels will take me.  As I’m nearing the area set aside for tables, I hear someone say, “Rey Jakku?”  I stop and turn immediately, because the accent is very British.  It’s always nice to hear a familiar sound, even when I’m running away from my boyfriend who’s obviously a cheating, lying, arsehole!

The voice comes from a tall man, with a shock of perfectly styled red hair, an immaculately groomed beard, and eyes so bright green they don't look real.  He’s dressed in what might be a Burberry suit, and I only know this because I’m British, not because I give a shit about clothes.  He’s a bit on the thin side, his skin is pale, and he has an intensity about him that reminds me of someone else I recently met.  This man though has one distinct, glaring difference from Ben.  He wears confidence like he wears his expensive watch and red soled shoes, like it’s a priceless rich man’s accessory that us mere peasants could never aspire to.

I can’t believe how easy it is for my brain to slide back into the caste based society mentality, as if I never left it.

“Do I know you?” I ask, as I notice that he is also sizing me up.

He extends his hand, and I take it and shake it.  His hand is soft, as if he’s never really worked for his status symbols.  “Armitage Smith, at your service,” he says before he releases my hand.  His next sentence stuns me.  “The better question is, how well do you know Ben Solo?”

“What?”  Dread sweeps through me, as I replay the kiss in my head.  “What do you mean?”

“He’s not who you think he is,” the stranger says, and immediately moves toward the spiral staircase, which is probably the closest exit.

I stare after him, watching as he hustles up the steps two at a time, forming all kinds of questions in my head.  What the bloody hell was that next level cryptic bollocks?  On the other hand, I did just catch Ben kissing a mysterious hot blonde, when he claims to be so chaste he needs a book to teach him how to do the deed.

As I’m thinking it, I hear his distinct, dark voice behind me.  “Who was that?”

“Who was that?”  I spin around to face him, and nearly topple over from the action and the awkward heels.  I’m sure the expression on his face matches the one on mine.  He looks a little insecure, and extremely bloody angry.  “Who were you kissing just now?” I demand.

His eyes squint up.  I see his lips part to ask what I mean, but they immediately close again.  Then he makes a movement with that pretty mouth that is distinctly Ben, causing his chin to scrunch up and his lips to tremble. 

“Yea, I saw that.  And you’re pissed at me for speaking with a man?”  He literally looks like he has absolutely no idea what to say.  And honestly I don’t either without yelling.  And I don’t want to do that in the middle of a bar.  Ben Solo might be hotter than every Chris in Hollywood, but he’s as fucked up as every fuck ever, and frankly not worth my sanity.

“You make me insane, Ben Solo!” I declare, and turn to walk away from him.  For a split second I expect him to try to stop me, and I wouldn’t mind a nice public row at the moment because I’m that tipsy, but he just follows behind me.

When I arrive at the table, Poe and Paige are sitting in the booth facing Finn and Rose, and the drink that Poe ordered is waiting for me.  I pick it up off the table, slam it back in one drink, and cough for a good minute afterward because it’s hard as hell to chug lemon lime fizzy.  Then I announce to everyone, “Who’s ready for that tequila?”

“Oh, tequila is the best idea I’ve heard all night,” Poe says, and immediately exits the seat to stand near me.  “I’ll drive,” he offers, and for some reason he looks at me.

“Let’s go!” I say, knowing Poe drives a two seater.

“There’s no room for him,” he says, and glances over my shoulder at Ben.

“He’s not invited,” I snap.

“What happened?” Finn asks, and stands up beside Poe.  Rose moves to join her boyfriend, and I take a step back, right into the immovable object that is Ben Solo’s huge body.

Ben puts his hands on my shoulders possessively.  I would have been all over that ten minutes ago, before I saw him with his tongue down another girl’s throat.  Now I can't get away fast enough.  “We can grab a ride on Passenger,” he says, even as I try to jerk away from him.

“It’s a forty minute wait.  We’ve already put in our request,” Rose says in a calm voice, trying to defuse the situation that she doesn’t even understand yet. 

“Not for me it isn’t,” Ben counters, and removes one of his hands to grab his phone, and that’s when I sidestep everyone and turn to walk toward the exit.

“Rey,” Rose calls out, and hurries after me.  “Rey, what happened?”

“He was kissing another girl!” I exclaim.  I don’t even look over my shoulder.

“What are you talking about?  Ben is totally draking on you,” she says. 

“And apparently I’m not the only one.”  I’m at the spiral staircase, and my head spins just staring up at it.  “This way,” I say, and walk toward the bathroom.  There’s an entrance to the back parking lot there, and we use it often when we’re too drunk to climb the steps.

“Rey?”  I hear Ben’s voice behind me, and I move just a little bit faster.  But I know that I’ll be standing out in the cool March night in the worst outfit for the weather, so I duck into the ladies room and Rose follows.

“Maybe you don’t know what happened.  Maybe you misunderstood what you saw?” Rose suggests.

“I know what I saw, Rose.  I don’t want him at the apartment.”  I lean against the wall right by the door.  “I’m so done with the entire situation.  This is just another…”

And then, as fate would have it, the hot blonde leaves a stall at that moment.  I’m not in the mood to fuck around tonight.  “Speak of the devil.”

She’s washing her hands, and she looks at me in the mirror and grins.  She has the fucking nerve to  _grin_  at me.

I really feel the world spinning now.  I feel light headed and dizzy.  She turns toward me and dries her hands at the dryer less than a meter from me.

“Ben was kissing  _her_?”  Rose says the word in a derogatory manner.

I join her, even though I feel like shit and not nearly as confident as I’m trying to sound.  “Yea, I mean if he wants to take a step down, he can step off.”

“It’s okay, little girl.  I’ll take him off your hands,” she says with a wink and a grin, and steps around me toward the door. 

I smirk at her, and give her the finger.

“Classy,” she chides, and exits.

I cross my arms over my chest.  Before I have time to stew on it Rose says, “Our ride’s here,” and grabs my wrist to pull me out too.

And we walk into the hallway in time to see Ben stick his arm out as if to fend her off.  “I said no, Lauren, and I mean  _no_.”

Rose and I avoid the scene and head straight to the door.  Finn is already out there waiting, and I see Poe and Paige climbing into his car several meters from us.

I hear the older woman call out, “Ben!” just as I feel his hand grab mine.

“No!” I say, and pull it away. 

Finn is climbing into the front of the car, and Rose and I climb into the back.  Before I can close the door, Ben joins me.  “It is  _my_  ride,” he states, and his voice has a tone of finality.  I don’t want to wait thirty minutes for another driver, and risk running into Lauren again.  But the last thing I want is to be sitting beside Ben.

“My name is Genesis, is everyone okay?” the driver asks, before she puts the car in gear.  Although I don’t look up I feel her eyes on me.  I nod reluctantly.

Finn, not missing a beat, decides to proceed with the introductions.  “I’m Finn, that’s Rose, Rey, and Ben Solo.” 

The driver laughs.  “Sure it is,” she says.  Then she turns up the radio, and I hear Brendon Urie singing “ _Oh, it’s Saturday night!_ ”

The apartment isn’t too far away.  I can handle this for seven to ten minutes.

And I believe it too, until Ben leans into me and says, “I didn’t kiss her, Rey.  I swear.  She kissed me.”

“Whatever,” I reply.  I don’t want to argue about it in a car full of people.

“So, Genesis, are you named after the band, or the book in the Bible?”  Finn has never, ever met a stranger.  I love that about him, and it helps to alleviate the awkwardness in the car.

They’re chatting in the front seat, and Rose is holding my hand trying to calm me down.  Ben says, “She was the girl in my parents’ bedroom.”

My eyes grow wide, and I finally turn toward him.  “You’re lying!” I accuse.

But his expression is pained, and he’s actually tearing up.  He shakes his head, and I immediately know it’s true.

I’m stunned beyond belief.  “Was she the one who…”  I don’t finish the sentence because we’re not alone.

“Yes,” he replies, and his voice cracks.  It’s obviously bothering him.  All of it.  That it was the girl who called him disgusting.  That she tried to kiss him.  And especially, that I saw it happen and got angry.

“And you told her no?” I ask.

“Yes, sweetheart.  I told her no,” he assures me.  I almost want to laugh, but I know it would make things worse.  “Because of you, Rey, I told her no.”

The thing that’s keeping me from being excited and throwing my arms around him, is what the red head said earlier.  I  _don’t_ know Ben Solo.  And it’s always,  _always_  some kind of drama with him. 

“That’s cool,” I say, and notice that we’ve arrived.  Ben opens the door near him, and Finn walks around to open Rose’s door.  Ben extends his hand to me to help me out, and I take it. 

Before I’m all the way out of the car, the driver exclaims, “Holy shit!  You are Ben Solo!”  Ben closes the door, and Finn laughs out loud.

Poe and Paige arrive, and Finn and Poe fist bump before they head toward the stairs, Paige following right behind.

Rose hangs back, waiting on me but not too close to make it seem like she’s eavesdropping.  Ben removes his jacket, and wraps it around my shoulders.  He  _is_  a gentleman, if nothing else.  I’m torn between wanting to throw it down at his feet, and wanting to snuggle into it.

“So, am I coming up, or do you want me to get back into the car with Genesis?”

I look up at him, at his sensitive eyes and his pouty mouth.  He is hot as fuck and sexy as hell in those black pants with the black shirt.

I roll my eyes, then jerk my head toward the steps.

“Yes!” Rose stage whispers, and runs toward the steps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope ya'll like drama!
> 
> I'm stunned by the stats for Auction. Almost up to 18k hits! I'm just... I'm... I can't.


	32. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dash of drama. A bit of angst, and a ton of fluff for your Sunday afternoon!

**Ben - Thirty-Two**

 

“Rey, I’m sorry you saw that.  I did try to stop her.”  We’re standing in her tiny bedroom, that has a set of bunk beds against one wall and a closet they share on the other.  Under a window sits what must be Rey’s desk, a workbench that holds a model of her engine, and shelves that hold technical manuals line the remainder of the wall.  It’s an organized mess, with tools and papers covering the spaces.  On the opposite wall is an intricate stainless steel vanity, an armoire, and several shelves with what can only be Paige’s make up and beauty tools.  The first thing I can think of is buying Rey her own apartment, perhaps in this building so she can be near her friends, but with room for her to actually work.  Somewhere she won’t have to sleep on the couch every night.

She stares into my eyes like she wants to say something, but she doesn’t.  She removes my jacket and lays it on the top bunk, which I assume is hers.  The bottom is a futon.  I guess Paige needs more room than Rey.  Then she opens a small set of plastic drawers beside her desk, which I thought must be for her papers.  But she pulls out a tiny little pair of black pants, and somehow slides herself into them before removing the skirt.  I exhale louder than I meant to.  I had no idea I was watching her change clothes, and once I've realized what was happening my heart stopped.  There was nothing erotic about it, I didn’t see anything I shouldn’t have, but it was intimate in a way that makes my mind explode, metaphorically.

“Rey,” I whisper.  I can’t stop myself from taking a step toward her.  I reach out and touch just the end of her thick, glossy hair.  The back of my hand brushes against the lace of her shirt.  This close I can see her moles and freckles peeking through the open spots.  How could she think I’d kiss someone else?  I’m mesmerized by her.  I’m enamored.  _I’m in love_.

I’ve known it since I met her, but I thought it was childish to fall for someone you’ve just met.  But every time I see her, kiss her, touch her, and every time I screw up and she forgives me, I fall deeper.  Just talking to my mom about Rey, and having her encourage me, made me realize it’s okay to open myself up to her.  And watching her dance with her friends made me understand she’s the other half I need to balance me out.  She’s so full of joy and life, even though she has problems I could never imagine dealing with alone.  Her heart is so sweet, tender, and kind, even after everything she’s been through. 

“Can I borrow some of your happiness?” I ask.

She’s folded the skirt, and pulled a t-shirt out of her drawer.  She pulls the lace shirt over her head, and the only thing covering her back is a light beige strip of cloth.  I gasp loudly, like a drowning man grasping for oxygen.  She’s so close I can smell her cherries and vanilla perfume, and feel the heat of her body.  I have to close my eyes to the sight, because I know she’s not open to me pawing at her or kissing her right now.  If she was she’d be facing me.  I drop my hands to my sides, and clench them into tight fists.

“No, but we’re doing tequila shots in the living room and you can have some of it.  It’s the next best thing,” she says before she turns around.  I’m floored when I see the black t-shirt she’s wearing says Passenger in white, with the logo under it, a car circling around the planet with the moon in the background. 

“I remember telling the graphic artist what I wanted, and her scoffing at me.  I hadn’t even started the app yet, and I was already thinking worldwide.”  I figure it’s a good way to avoid telling her how possessive the shirt she’s wearing makes me feel. 

“Finn gave it to me.  It’s my sleep shirt,” she says.

A wave of desire crashes into me.  She _sleeps_ in my shirt.

“I know, it’s cheesy.  I just don’t have a lot of clothes.  I never have,” she says, and glances over at the open closet door.  As I watch she hangs up the outfit and returns it to the closet.  From the clothes hanging in it, I know it’s not hers.

My heart breaks.  Doesn’t she know I’d buy her anything she wants?  Doesn’t she understand that I would give anything just to see her smile?

“Would you like?” I begin, but before I can finish she’s finally looking at me.

“Did you set up the investor to call me?” she asks, point blank. 

I’m not sure I’m ready to talk about this right now, with all the emotions boiling and bubbling inside me.  I want her, Jesus Christ can’t she see how much?  I have absolutely no idea how I’m keeping my hands off her in this tiny confined space.  And she wants to call me out on my mistakes right now?

Fine, this is as good a time as any for truths.

“I arranged a twenty million dollar investment account, and asked a lawyer to look over your business plan.  He immediately called several other investors and investment groups.  I think the total he has to offer you now is one hundred and fifty million, but he has others who are interested but not ready to commit just yet.”

Her eyes go wide, and her mouth opens before she can hide it behind her hand.  “One hundred and fif…”  She can’t even finish the thought.

“Surprise,” I say, stoically.

She glances toward the closed door, but she’s seeing into the living room.  “Don’t tell them.  Everyone’s drunk or drinking, and they’ll probably scream it to the neighborhood, and my car will be egged or worse.” 

“It sounds like a lot, but you’ll have to deal with bullshit you’ve never even thought of.  You’ll have to hire an assistant.  You’ll have to hire lawyers.  You’ll have to come up with a fucking business logo and a website.  You’re about to walk into a shitstorm you can’t even imagine.” 

Great.  That was fucking unnecessary.  It’s all true, but it’s probably not the best time to say it all out loud.  Maybe it’ll balance out her excitement a little. 

“You can’t dim my enthusiasm, Ben Solo!”  She’s trying to keep her voice down, but it might be nearly impossible for her to do.  And if she continues drinking she’ll never be able to keep the secret.  Then, almost timidly, she reaches up and wraps her arms around my neck.  “Thank you.”  She's looking up into my eyes as she says it, and those dimples of hers are going to be the death of me.  She’s still wearing the makeup, and her eyes still have the same golden glow.  She is so damn pretty it makes my heart hurt.

Just as I’m about to kiss her, even though I know I shouldn’t, a loud bang crashes on the door.  Rey rolls her eyes.  “Come on, best mate!  The game’s starting!”  It must be Finn.

“Thanks again,” she says, as she grabs my hand and leads me into the other room.  And we’re still holding hands when she motions for me to sit in a beanbag chair across from the couch.  Poe is sitting in another beside mine, and Rey plops down onto the floor beside me, leaning against my thighs.  I haven’t sat in one of these since I was ten, and I realize why now.  I’m just too damn tall for this.  I might as well be sitting in the floor.

“Tequila, or no tequila?” Rose asks me, as she begins to pour the first drinks into cups sitting on the coffee table in the center of everyone.  In a plastic cup in front of me, she’s poured it more than three quarters of the way full with Coke.  She’s holding the bottle over it, waiting to pour the brown liquid into it. 

“A splash,” I answer.  Rey giggles.  Rose tops off about half the remaining one quarter with alcohol, then fills the shot glasses in front of Rey and Poe.

Finn is holding four laminated pages of printer paper, and I think I see text on both sides.  He also holds a dry erase marker.  He scans over them as if if it’s the most important thing ever written. 

Rey begins to explain it to me.  “We’re playing _Most Likely To_ , it’s pretty easy and gets funnier the drunker you get.  A question is asked, and everyone points to the person they think it pertains to.  The person with the most fingers pointed at them drinks.”

Well this should be only slightly annoying.

Finn starts.  “Okay, okay, so I’m going to try to make it not obvious.”  Then he chuckles at whatever it is he’s thinking, and everyone else starts to laugh because apparently it’s infectious.  Everyone except me.  “Who is most likely to become a billionaire?”  He makes a show of marking the question off, and definitely not looking at me.

All fingers point to me.  Except mine.  I’m pointing at Rey. 

Rey gets a chuckle out of our shared secret, and it feels almost as intimate as watching her change clothes.  Almost.  “Okay, you have to drink, Mr. Solo!” she exclaims.  I stare at the Coke that contains the first alcohol I’ve ever had in my life.  Then I pick it up, and take a drink.  There’s a bite to the aftertaste, and it’s strong but not horrible.  I only cough a little.  I drink about a quarter of it.

“Okay, okay,” Finn chuckles as he hands the questions off to Rose.

She giggles as she reads them, and finally settles on one.  “Who is most likely to be a government spy?”

I don’t know these people that well.  I’ve just met them tonight.  But Poe was always duplicitous, always acting like an angel while actually treating me like shit.  I point at Poe, and to my surprise everyone else does to.  Except for Poe, who points at Rey.

“Come on, guys, she’s the smartest one here!” he exclaims, as he picks up his cup.  “I’m not smart enough to be a spy.”  He finishes off the shot, and breathes a hiss through his teeth, before clearing his throat.  “Smooth,” he groans, and refills his cup from the bottle in the center of the cups.

Rose hands the papers and marker off to me, and I begin to skim the pages I was so curious about.  They are meticulously typed questions, with numbers beside them.  

 **16.  Most likely to be a secret superhero.** I’m surprised Finn didn’t ask that one.  **24.  Most likely to sell a kidney.**   There’s no way I’m touching _that one_ with a ten foot pole, while sitting beside Rey.  **87**.  **Most likely to rule the world.**   And then there’s this one.  **142.  Most likely to do something weird to pay for college.**   Yea…. why am I doing this again?

“Come on.  Just choose one, Ben,” Rey says.  I remember exactly why I’m doing this when I glance down at her, and she’s all dimples and forest colored eyes, pink cheeks and glossy lips.  I would walk through hell and back just to be allowed to sit beside her. 

“Who is most likely to drive a purple car?”  It’s not fun like the others, but it’s the next one on the list.  I mark off the question before I point at Rey, because why not.

And everyone else points at Finn. 

Finn laughs out loud again, and everyone joins him.  Everyone including me.  I guess it really is contagious.  “Oh, my God!  That was my mom’s car, ya’ll!”  He picks up the glass and takes a drink, before refilling it.

I hand the papers to Rey, and our fingers brush.  Her expression is as clear as dirt when she takes them.  She glances over one, then the other, and finally says, “Who is most likely to hit on their friend’s SO?”  Then she immediately points at Paige.

“Ooooooohhhhh,” Poe and Finn both grumble, and point at Paige. 

“That’s not on the list,” Rose says.  “I know, because _I_ typed it and laminated it, after the last time when Jessika spilled her glass all over them.  You’re welcome, by the way.”  I can see she’s talking just to stall.  Reluctantly she points at her sister, with a sharp, “Fine.”

My hand stays firmly on my thigh.  No way I’m wading into that drama tonight.  I’ve already had too much of my own.

“Whatever,” Paige says, and reaches for her glass.  “To Ben Solo, the hottest person to step foot in this apartment.  And to Rey Jakku, who is lucky as hell to have him,” she toasts, before drinking her shot.  “I’m sorry, don’t hate me.”  She’s looking at Rey as she fills her glass.

Rey smiles at her, but I think I see a bit of fire in her eyes.  “Don’t worry, it’s forgiven.  I just wanted to call you out on your shit so you’d know for next time.  I’m not angry, but if it ever happens again I will kick your ass.”

“Oooooohhhhh…”  Finn and Poe both exclaim again, in unison.

“She could do it too,” Rose says firmly, and winks at Rey.

“Okay, I’m next,” Poe exclaims.  Before he even takes the papers he asks, “Who is _really_ the hottest person to step foot in the apartment?”  He immediately points at himself.  He always has been the most vain person in any room he’s in. 

“Ugh, Poe,” Rey chides.  “That’s not on the list.”  But she eagerly points at me.  I try not to grin as I point back at her. 

Rose and Finn point at each other, and Paige points at me.  I look around, and everyone is looking at me.  I scoff, and say, “Am I really drinking to that question?”

“Yes, you are,” Rey asserts, and reaches up to kiss my cheek.  I turn, and lightly kiss her lips.  This time she lets me.  In front of her friends and everything. The feeling is indescribable.

“Fine,” I grumble, and take another drink.  It’s not as harsh this time.  I pour more Coke in the glass, and Rey splashes just a little more tequila in it.  She’s giggling as she does it.

As Poe hands the papers off to Paige, my hand moves off my thigh to play with Rey's hair again.  I literally cannot keep my hands off her, especially when she's so close.  She angles her head back a little, and leans more of her weight against my leg.  I have to admit, I’m actually enjoying this. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone who is reading, commenting, kudoing, and SHARING my fic! I really do appreciate it!
> 
> I have all day to write, so... Tonight, there might be smut!
> 
> I almost forgot! Some of the most likely to questions came from tagquestions.net


	33. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff alert! I don't want to ruin the surprise, so... no spoilers!

**I have to share this amazing image from BunnyJonez.  She got the logo PER-FECT!  Thank you, thank you, thank you Bunny!**

 

**Rey - Thirty-Three**

 

Throughout the evening our seating arrangements have changed.  Ben gave up the beanbag after just a few minutes.  He’s been leaning against the telly stand, with his legs crossed in front of him.  And somehow I ended up in his lap, with my back against his warm, huge chest, my legs straight out in front of me.  Occasionally he’ll kiss the top of my head, or rub his hand against my bare arm.  Our right hands are linked together, and have been for a while. 

Am I now one of those persons I’ve always been jealous of?  I glance over at Rose and Finn, and she’s leaning into his body while his arm is wrapped around her shoulder.  I never thought I’d get something like that, something like what they have.

Poe is still in his beanbag, eating the last of the Doritos, and Paige is at the end of the couch sulking.  Usually she’s the one in the floor cuddling with some guy, and I’m the one at the end of the couch, feeling uncomfortable and alone while Rose and Finn cuddle on the other end.

Not tonight!  Tonight _I’m_ with a guy!  And he is oh so easy to _be_ with.  His touches are so soft and gentle.  For someone who seems to be prickly and withdrawn, he’s actually quite affectionate.  And after he got the first few sips of tequila in him, he loosened up quite a bit.

Rose hands him the papers, as Finn announces, “Okay everyone, the bottles empty, so Ben has the last question.”

He laughs as he skims over the questions, as if it’s the first time he’s seen them.  His laugh is really nice, dark and rich like his voice, and his eyes.  Dark and rich describes Ben Solo perfectly. 

“You have to choose one, Ben,” I remind him. 

He squeezes my hand once more before releasing it.  Then he chuckles as he asks, “Who is most likely to have the most kids?”

Then he crooks his fingers toward himself.  My insides melt, and I try really hard not to wiggle against him.

Finn points at Rose, and so do I, but everyone else is pointing at me. 

“Are you pointing at yourself?” I ask Ben.

“Maybe I’m pointing at both of us,” he murmurs in my ear.

That is the point where I finally do melt into him.  My hips relax, and my head practically flops against his shoulder. 

“Okay, that’s it.  Great party everyone!” I say, as I wiggle out of his lap.  This is so much harder to do, especially while tipsy, than it was to slide into it.  Once I’m standing, I grab my shot glass, yell “Cheers”, and down it quickly.

As Ben is standing to join me, I hurry toward my room.  I glance over my shoulder, and see the stunned, confused look on his beautiful face.  Just as I’m in my room, I see Finn approach him with his hand out.  Are they saying goodbye?

I complete my task faster than I thought I would, and just as Paige is downing her last shot, I dump her pillows and blanket onto the couch beside her.

“What’s this?” she asks, stunned at my actions.

“ _You’re_ sleeping on the couch tonight!” I announce in front of everyone.  “Goodnight people!” I exclaim, as I grab for Ben’s hand and tear him away from Finn.  But for some reason he pulls his right hand away, and gives me his left.

“This is so wrong, Rey!” Paige says, as I enter our shared bedroom.  With a man.  _Ben_.  I’m tipsy and pulling a man into my bedroom, and I’m so not ashamed.  I’m actually way more excited and proud than I thought I’d be.

“Suffer, Paige!” I call out, right before I close the door and lock it.

I flip the switch and turn on the light, and Ben Solo is standing in front of me, staring down at me with so much intensity, like at the bar while he was watching me dance.  But this time he’s so close I can smell his cologne, which smells like the beach on a cloudy day, and me.  We’ve been sitting so close together he has my scent on him, and that makes my already clenched muscles between my legs pulse.

“Wouldn’t we be more comfortable at my place?” he asks, as he sweeps my hair off my shoulder, and the backs of his fingers gently caress my neck.

“Maybe, but this isn’t about comfort.  This is about payback.”  I mean it as a joke, obviously, but he frowns, with that full bottom lip jutting out invitingly.  God knows I want it between my teeth so damn bad.

Before his thoughts can take him back to that place where he feels unwanted, I reach my hands down to the waistband of my shirt. 

But he grabs my hands to stop me, and murmurs, “No.  Leave it on.  It’s been driving me insane all night that you’re wearing my logo, and I want to see it on you while I’m getting you off.”

“Fuck Ben,” I groan, just as he places his hands on my hips and pulls me into his huge body.  I feel so small, so protected, when I’m being held like this by him. 

“Can I?” he whispers against my mouth.  I smell tequila and Coke on his breath, and it’s so damn good and as tempting as his perfect lips.  “Can I get you off?”

“We already know you can,” I whisper back. 

His lips gently kiss mine, then my cheek, my ear, and my neck.  “I’m not going to go too far tonight, because you’ve been drinking.  But I want to taste you so bad sweetheart.” 

“Ummmhmmmm,” I groan. 

“I want to taste you again, but I want you to be okay with it.  Are you sober enough to say yes?”

I want to just say yes and let him do it.  I understand what he’s saying, though.  I know he doesn’t want to hurt me.  “I haven’t taken that many shots tonight.  I’m sober enough.  I promise.”  I’ve been thinking about this all night, getting him back to my room, doing naughty things to his body, him doing naughtier things to mine.  “Take off your shirt first,” I demand. 

He kisses my mouth then, not a deep kiss or a long one, but a good one.  His lips are warm and soft, and there’s a promise of pleasure in them.  He pulls away, and begins to unbutton his shirt.  “You like my chest?” he asks. 

“You’re so fucking hot, Ben.”  I say it as I stand and watch him.  I can see that he’s still insecure, but he’s doing it slowly.  I wonder if he knows how badly I want to see him, how the anticipation is making me ache.  “That’s so fucking hot, watching you undress.”

The shirt is unbuttoned, open down to his waist, and I see the line down his chest between his pecs, that splits his abs down the center, that ends at that line of dark hair that I’ve wanted to touch for so long, and follow down into his pants.

“Can I touch you too?” I ask excitedly.

“I don’t know,” he answers truthfully, before he tugs the shirt out of his pants and pulls it off his shoulders.

Suddenly he’s shirtless again, standing in front of me, telling me he doesn’t know if I can touch him too.  How will I be able to keep my hands off him?  His thick neck, his wide shoulders, his huge biceps, and those big, tempting pecs.

I reach out and touch them with both hands.  A sexy moan escapes his perfect mouth, and I tear my eyes away to look into his.  “Ben,” I whisper, as my hands move downward, “I wish I had the words to convince you that your body is beautiful.”  The conversation with Maz flashes into my mind.  _Touch him and smile._   So I do.  I smile up at him as my fingers slowly discover his skin, his muscles, and his ribs.  “I wish I could convince you of how sexy you are.”

At least tonight he isn’t pulling away.  At least he’s standing there, staring down at me as I touch him.  When I feel his chest become his abdomen we both shiver.  “Damn, you feel just as good as you look.”

“Rey,” he whispers.  “Yellow light.”

“Ooooohhhhh,” I whine.  I don’t go down any farther, but I don’t take my hands away.  I rub back and forth over his flat stomach until I touch his navel, and I know that line of dark hair is right under it and I want to touch it so damn bad.

His eyes are even darker than normal because his pupils are huge.  And I wonder what he would do if I…

I kneel down in front of him, and he tries to grab my hair or my shoulders or my hands to pull me up, but I resist.  “You’ve seen me naked.  Please let me see you.”

“Yellow light, Rey,” he says again.  I can see in his eyes, in his expression, in the way that his beautiful lips are parted and his tongue is resting against the bottom, that he wants me too. 

“What if I touch it through your pants?” I ask, while staring up at him. 

His eyes close, and his shoulders shake, and I watch him breathing.  And then he says, “Green light.”

I give him the biggest smile I’ve ever given anyone, and I move my hands down until I feel the black leather belt he’s wearing.  My hands are shaking.  I can barely breathe.  I’m afraid but I’m excited, and I’m going to do it.

Slowly, so slowly, my hands go lower.  I find it to the left of his zipper.  I might be a virgin but I’m not blind, I have seen a dick before, more than one actually.  I _do_ have the internet.  But this is different.  This is _Ben_.  And he’s letting me touch him.  I trace it up, toward his waistband, and I gasp at how far it goes. 

“Rey,” his deep voice rumbles. 

“Shhhhh…  It’s okay.”  I try to calm him, like he’s a frightened animal. 

I find the tip, and trace it all the way down.  I gasp again.  Being a mechanic I’m pretty good at estimating lengths and widths, and he must be a foot long.  I shut my eyes at the thought.  There’s no way.  There’s no fucking way his dick is a foot long.  The average is _half_ that.

His size doesn’t stop me, it fascinates me.  I continue to stroke it, up and down, feeling it grow harder, feeling it throb against my hands.  His moans get louder, and louder, and finally after about a minute of this he shoves against my hands, his hips flexing and the V at his waistband becoming more pronounced.

“Rey?” he mutters.

“Ben, it’s okay,” I assure him.

“Do you really want to see it?”  His voice is rough, gravelly, thick with an emotion I’ve never heard in his voice.  _Lust_.  Damn, it’s even sexier like that.

“Yes Ben, I do,” I answer honestly, even though now I’m scared.  It can’t really be that big, can it?  He must see the emotions in my eyes, too, because he trusts me.  Or maybe he’s just drunk I don’t know.  Either way, I’ve got the green light and I am not slowing down.

His hands meet mine at his belt, and he begins to unbuckle while I begin to unzip.  He unbuttons, and my hands are on his white briefs, and I glance up once more and nod at him before I pull them down.  It’s not a nod of, _is this okay_?  It’s a confident nod of I’m doing this right now and I can’t wait!

And then there it is, springing out at me from its bed of dark curls, and my eyes get as wide as my mouth. 

It’s so fucking big.  But I should have expected it, because everything on his body is big.  Somehow it’s darker than the rest of his skin, but it’s pink like his lips and there’s moisture coming out of the hole at the tip.  I know how it works, I guess.  That’s where the semen comes out.  Has he already came, before me, again?

Surely not, because he’s still hard.  And I should touch it, like I did when it was in his pants.  I wrap my hand around the head, barely, and his head falls back and his entire body vibrates, and he mutters, “Fuck, Rey.”

I stick my tongue out, and as my hand slides down over his soft skin, I taste the clear fluid.  It’s only slightly salty but mostly tasteless, like a teardrop. 

“Red light Rey,” he exclaims, as he shakes.  But there’s no way in hell I’m stopping until he comes.  I keep stroking it, with the bottom of the head lying against my tongue.  “Rey, I’m going to…”  And then it happens.  He tries to step away but I’ve got a firm hand on his dick.  The next thing I know, there’s a string of thick salty liquid shooting into and all over my mouth, and onto my nose.

“Fuck Rey,” he moans, and immediately falls to his knees.  As his shoulders slump, and his head lands on my chest, I swallow hard before I lick my lips and wipe my palm over my nose.

“I shouldn’t have,” he murmurs.

I wipe the stuff off my hand before I place it in his hair.  Then I kiss his hair, and rub my other hand over his back.

“Of course you should have, Ben.  It’s like a mechanical function.  It’s the way our bodies were built to work.”  I lean forward, and rest my forehead on his shoulder, continuing to caress his bare back.  “Didn’t you like it?”

“Ummm…” is his answer.

“Did I do it wrong?”  I question.

“No,” he moans.

“Then what happened was supposed to happen.”  I soothe him for several minutes, kissing his hair and his cheek, while telling him, “It’s so big,” and “You’re so perfect,” and “Damn you’re sexy,” until he calms down.  Finally, when he leans back to look into my eyes, I smile at him.  “Now, it’s my turn.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben is making progress. He's getting there slowly but surely. They might even bang eventually!
> 
> Speaking of banging, over 19k hits and almost 800 kudos! BANG!


	34. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Rey's turn! And we get to see it from Ben's POV!

**Ben - Thirty-Four**

 

“You’re amazing,” I tell her, as I stare into her eyes.  “You’re so worth waiting for.”

I try to let all the crap in my past fall away while gazing into her eyes, but it’s not easy.  The doubts are still there.  How can this goddess I’m staring at want someone like me? 

But she does.  For some reason she _wants_ me.  Even after telling her she’d be receiving a huge chunk of capitol for her engineering firm, she still sat in my lap all evening.  She allowed me to hold hands with her, touch her, kiss her, in front of her friends.  She did stun me when she ran off to her bedroom instead of telling me goodbye, but she made everyone chuckle when she relegated Paige to the couch in such dramatic fashion.  Everyone except Paige of course.

When she walked away, Finn approached me with a concerned expression.  “Take this.  I know Rey’s going to be a great mom some day, but hopefully not on your first try.”  Then he pressed a foil wrapper into my hand.  I glanced down at it, and saw that it said Magnum.  “Sorry if it’s too big, buddy,” he said with a laugh.  I hurriedly shoved it into my pocket with my phone when she grabbed my hand, and led me to her room.

Which reminds me.  “Can I do something?” I ask, as I push her hair behind her ear.  I love her hair, especially when it’s down like this, and I love it that she allows me to touch her so casually. 

“As long as it’s not something crazy, like ask me to jump out of a plane, sure.” 

She grins at me, before she reaches out to touch the marks on my right cheek, then the ones under my eye.  “I used to stare up at the stars, when I lived in the junkyard.  It was outside of town, and there were less lights.  It was easier to see them in the dark.”

How can she possibly be so damn perfect for me?  The reason the moon is a part of the Passenger logo is that I always thought I would make it into space.  

I feel the foil wrapper as I reach for my phone.  I don’t think we’re ready for that tonight.  I turn on my phone, open my music subscription app, and start the playlist that I created for her.  The first song that plays is DMB _Crush_.

And I begin to sing along to the lyrics.  _“Crazy how it feels tonight.  Crazy how you make it all alright, love.  Crush me, with the things you do.  And I’ll do for you, anything too…”_

Her grin turns into a full blown, dimpled smile.  Her eyes sparkle even more somehow.  And the blush that covers her cheeks is adorable.  I picked the song because I can’t tell her how I feel out loud, not yet, but maybe she understands.  Maybe she’ll she how crazy I am for her. 

Both of my hands find her hair, and her eyelids get heavier.  Her lips are still parted, but it’s not a smile.  It’s an invitation.  She looks so sensual, especially when she licks her lips and I know what she can do with them, and her tongue.

Just thinking about it makes me hard again.  That’s not supposed to happen, is it?  She’s so small my palms are on her cheeks and my fingers are massaging the back of her head.  I feel like I’m cradling everything important to me, that I’m holding what I was born for.  I was born to be hers, and all the other shit was just there to make me appreciate her sweetness, her goodness, even more.

“Rey, you’re everything I’ve ever wanted, and you’re all I want.  I hope you know that.” 

She smiles again, and I can see the pleasure, the desire, in her eyes.  “I want you too, Ben.  Just you.”

“Can I kiss you?”  She nods and leans toward me.  “There, again?  Can I please taste you again?”

“You can kiss me anywhere,” she offers, as she pulls my shirt, and her bra, up over her chest to expose her breasts.  “You can start at my lips, and work your way down.”  She’s so playful, and eager, for me to touch her.  She wants me.  My beautiful fairy princess wants _me_ , not my money. 

I keep thinking it, keep telling myself that, hoping that I’ll eventually believe it. 

My gaze moves down to her lips, and farther down.  She’s so perfect.  Her breasts are small but feminine with her tiny pink nipples.  They fit perfectly in my hands, I remember, as I move them down her neck, her shoulders, to caress them. 

She gasps, and encourages me again, like she did after the orgasm.  “Yes, Ben, there.  You feel so good.”  At that point, there’s no more need for talking.  I take her mouth like I take her breasts, gently but firmly.  She starts to moan, and somehow she’s changing her position while sucking my lips into her mouth.  I feel her sharp teeth against my bottom lip, and I gasp at the pain mixed with pleasure as I follow her down. 

She moves onto her bottom, then onto her back, and her legs spread and somehow wrap around my hips.  I’m on top of her, and I don’t even know how it happened.  That’s when I feel myself against her stomach, and I want this so much.  I want her skin against it, her hands, her lips, her stomach.  I never knew how good it could feel.  She's so damn soft, so sweet, so _Rey_ , that I want to have all of her against me.

Suddenly her hands find it, and I remember that I already came, and she hasn’t.  I can’t do it again without getting her off first.  So it’s my turn to slide down, pulling my hands down her body and her leggings down at the same time. 

“Yes, Ben.  That’s what I want,” she mutters.  She wants _me_ , repeats in my head.

_“Lost for you, I’m so lost for you,”_ I sing along with the DMB song that’s now playing.  _“When you crash into me, and I come into you.”_

Then my mouth finds her warm, wet center.  The books said that’s a sign of arousal.  It blows my mind that she’s aroused by me.  But she is.  She wants me.  Her hands are in my hair, pulling me closer.  I lick, and kiss, and suck until she’s moaning and squirming.  One of my hands is on her breast, and the other is searching out her clitoris, and she’s moaning.  “Yes, Ben.  Please, I’m close.  I’m so close.” 

Then her muscular thighs squeeze around my ears, and her muscles tighten, and she’s thrusting against me, and crying out, “Yes!”  I feel her orgasm, and I taste it, and it’s the best feeling I’ve ever felt, better than anything I’ve ever experienced. 

But I’m so hard, and I know she’s so wet and hot, and she wants me.  I can only imagine how good it would feel to be inside her right now.  But that will have to wait.

Instead, I pull away from her and implore, “Take it in your hands,” as I move up her again.  It’s against her stomach, and she grabs it and holds it, and rubs it.  She’s bringing me there, holding me there, until I’m crashing too.  Again the fluid is all over her, but she doesn't look like it bothers her. She's actually smiling at me. 

I’m stunned. Not only by the bliss that comes along after the orgasm, but also that she doesn’t seem to mind doing it for me. I actually love doing it for her, I love the way she looks at me and the noises that she makes. But I can’t imagine me grunting and thrusting is the least bit sexy.

“Come here,” she says, and spreads her arms.  I lay against her, before I roll over onto my side and bring her with me.  We’re nearly naked, satiated, and laying against each other.  I’m cuddling Rey, holding her, touching her, as she’s kissing my neck and my shoulders.

And it’s uncomfortable as hell.  “We’re sleeping at my place tonight,” I inform her.

She giggles.  “You don’t want to sleep in the top bunk?”

“Hell no," I exclaim, but I soften it with a kiss on the top of her head.  “Will you come with me?”  I realize I didn’t ask her, and I can’t order her to do anything.  It’s up to her.

“Of course.  Let me get a washcloth and a bottle of water, and you get the ride, and we’ll be out of here in no time."

She moves to stand, and I release her.  “Yes, sweetheart.”

I’m going to wake up with Rey, and I never thought I could ever be this happy.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Auction passed 20k hits today! YAY!!!!!!!!!!! And it's very close to 800 kudos! I can't tell you how exciting this is! I'm literally stunned! Thank you all for sticking with me through the journey of these two beautiful characters! Thank you! Thank you! Thank YOU!


	35. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Woke up early. Roofers made a lot of noise. Nothing else to do but write! So, here's another chapter!
> 
> Also, the amazing BunnyJonez created a mood board for the party at the apartment. I've added it to the chapter. Isn't it literally PERFECT, especially with Paige on the couch lol!

**Mood Board for the party:**

 

**Rey - Thirty-Five**

 

“You called me your significant other,” he says, as we’re walking toward his condo.

“What?  When?”  I’m faking shock, teasing him.  But when his eyes squint up, and the easy smile he’s been wearing for the entire ride back to his place wanes, I realize he’s taking me seriously.  “I’m sorry I let that slip like that.  I’ve practically been thinking of you as my boyfriend since the night we met, and I feel like I haven’t even given you a choice in the matter.”

Yes, there have been bumps in the road, and I assume there will be for a while with Ben.  But eventually he’ll become more secure, with me, with _us_ , and maybe he’ll relax a little.  Right now, though, he has a death grip on my hand like he’s afraid I’ll run off again.

“Are you okay with it?  I mean, you met my friends, you saw my apartment.  Are you alright with being my boyfriend?”

“You’re kidding right?”  We stop right outside his door, and he looks down at me in that way that reminds me this guy I’m with is huge, in more ways than one.  “I almost can’t believe we’re going to sleep together, for a few hours anyway.  Are _you_ okay with it?” He looks down at his expensive watch, and groans.  I guess he’s probably never come home at two in the morning before.  Hell, sometimes our after parties are just getting kicked off at two am.

I’m holding a reusable shopping bag with my clothes for tomorrow and a toothbrush, in one of the most expensive addresses in Cambridge.  I’m holding hands with the hottest guy I’ve ever seen.  We’re about to fall asleep in a bed that is probably bigger than my bedroom.  I’m a little nervous, but I’m even more excited.

I squeeze his hand and know that right now he needs my reassurance, not my tipsy teasing.  “Let’s do this, Ben.”

He unlocks the door and opens it, right before he sweeps me up into his arms.  I don’t even realize what he’s doing, I just squeal out, “Ben!”  He stares down at me with his gorgeous soulful eyes as he carries me into his condo.  Holy shit!  He’s really bridal carrying me over the threshold of his apartment!  And it’s just so easy for him, as if I weigh nothing.  “Damn you’re strong,” I tell him, as my hands take in his huge chest and back.

“What the hell is…” 

He closes the door with a nudge, then turns toward the kitchen.  The light comes on, and his mother is standing there with an accusing look on her face, as if Ben was a teenager bringing a girl to his mom’s house at 2 o’clock in the morning. 

“Ben?” Leia Organa asks, as if she almost doesn’t believe it’s her son.  And then her eyes are on me.  The senator is looking at me like she’s wondering what I’m doing with her son.  “Rey?”

Mother and son are staring at each other again, and I see the resemblance.  He has his mother’s eyes, and her soft mouth with the pouty lips.  And he has her thick, dark, luxurious hair.  No wonder he’s so good looking, with his parents he couldn’t be anything else.

“Thank God I’m Rey, or this would be even more awkward, somehow,” I declare.  “If that’s even possible.”

Senator Organa laughs, loud and full of happiness.  Then she approaches us with her arms wide open.  I’m about to have the most awkward hug ever, I think.  Until Ben gently sits me down on the floor. 

“Mom, what are you doing here?”  The tone of his voice makes it obvious that he wasn’t expecting to see his mom in his condo on a Saturday night.  “You have a mansion less than ten miles from here.”

“You know it’s being painted,” she says with a wave of her hand.  I bet Ben has no idea it’s being painted.  “And an old friend is in the hospital, so I thought…”

“You came up here to spy on me, didn’t you?” he asks, point blank.

“Well… that’s debatable.  But I really had no idea that you’d be bringing a girl home to spend the night.”  After that she turns her focus to me, and I’m stunned by just how much Ben’s eyes look like his mother’s.  “Hello Rey, I’m Leia.”  She doesn’t reach out her hand to shake, oh no.  She gathers me up into a warm hug, and it’s rather odd.  I mean, Finn has hugged me once or twice, but I’ve never had an adult woman, especially one so much shorter than me, grab me and hold on tight.

I’m getting a bear hug from Senator Organa.  Is this my life now?  Is this what being with Ben will be like?  I’m not complaining, but it is a bit surreal.  I reach my arms around her too, and give her back a nice pat.  She’s obviously more practiced at hugs than I am.

She releases me from her tight grip to pat my cheeks.  “So, you guys have obviously been out drinking.  And great shirt, Rey, I really like it.  I’ll put on some coffee.”

“Coffee mom?  At two am?  We were just about to go to bed.”  Ben’s hand moves down my arm, and twines our fingers together.

“Okay, I guess.  I’ve settled into the spare room, so you can take the…” 

I can feel Ben’s stare from behind me.  His mom looks up at him.  And then at me.  And then to him again.

“Oh.”  She doesn’t even try to hide her shock.  I didn’t know a person’s eyes could get that wide.  “Ohhhhhhhh.”

I’m sure my face is blood red.  It’s one thing to steal out of your tiny apartment to spend the night in your boyfriend’s condo.  It’s an entirely different thing to be confronted by his mother.  We’re both adults, yes, but it’s still weird.  Very weird.

“So, good night mom.  We’ll see you in the morning,” he says calmly. 

“Okay, goodnight you two,” she says as she steps out of the way. "Sweet dreams." 

He leads me down the hallway, and into his bedroom.  

“That wasn’t awkward at all,” he says, as he shuts the door and flips on the light.

“At least it can only ever happen once in a lifetime. Let’s not speak of it again,” I reply, as my eyes take it all in.

Our entire apartment could fit in here.  His huge bed dressed in dark and light grays faces a separate balcony.  Across from the door, past the bed, I can see three more doors which must be a closet and a bathroom, and no clue what the other one is.  And behind his bed, and along the wall where the door is, are dark gray bookshelves full of books.  In the corner, facing the huge wall of windows and glass doors, is a telescope.

I’m drawn to it.  I walk toward it, rub my hands over it, and bend down to peer through it.  What I see is an up close and personal view of the moon.  I gasp, loudly, at the clarity of it.  “Shit, Ben, that’s the moon!” I exclaim.  “I didn’t know you were in to this too.”

He gives me a true, bright smile.  “Umhmmm… Maybe tomorrow night we can do some stargazing.  I’m just so tired tonight, and my head is still spinning from the alcohol and the…”

He doesn’t finish his sentence, but I know exactly what he means.  “The orgasms?” I ask.  The moon doesn’t hold as much interest for me now.  I turn to look at him, and he’s approached me so silently I didn’t realize he was standing so close.

“The orgasms,” he agrees.  He places his hand on my back gently, and kisses the top of my head.  I’m growing very fond of him kissing me like that.  “Go get ready for bed.  I’ll pull down the blanket, and fluff the pillows. 

I tip my head back, and he gently kisses my lips.  Then I head toward the other side of the big room.  Between the bed and the balcony is a pretty gray couch with throw pillows.  I wonder if he sits here, with his gorgeous view of the river and the city, and reads.

After I’m finished brushing my teeth, and other stuff, I enter the bedroom to find Ben in black pajamas, maybe silk I have no idea, pulling down the bed.  He’s already closed the dark gray curtains, covering the other beautiful view in the room. Soft pop music is spilling into the room from hidden speakers, setting a sleepy mood.

“Ben, you’re so sexy,” I say, as I watch him readying everything for me.  “Thank you.  This is so sweet.”

“Thank you, Rey.”  He kisses me once again, then walks around me.  “Climb on in.  I’ll be right back.”

Then he enters the restroom, which was bigger than the kitchen and living room in our apartment, with a glass shower stall, separate tub, double sinks, and a room for the toilet with its own sink.  The floor is marble.

I climb into his huge bed, and only briefly remember the RV.  I never lost hope, throughout all the shit and abandonment issues.  Maybe I knew Ben was waiting on me even then. 

I leave my eyes open until he closes the bathroom door, and joins me in his big bed.  Of course it would have to be big for him, he’s huge.

“Can I?” he asks, with his arms open.

“Yes, you can,” I reply, and scoot closer toward him.  Our bodies meet and curl together, as if we were born for this.  As if we were made for each other.  “Good night, Ben.”

Wrapped up in his arms, held so close to his body, I feel whole.  I feel safe, cherished, and protected.  I feel like Ben Solo would fight the world for me, if he had to. 

I feel loved. 

For the first time in my life, I feel loved. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I realized that in the last chapter I didn't address how Ben felt about his (second) orgasm, so I added a short paragraph. If you're interested, it's there. 
> 
> Yesterday Auction hit 20,000 hits and 800 kudos. I can't express the shock I feel at all the love this story is getting. Thank you for every comment, every heart, and every view.


	36. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I apologize in advance if this chapter murders anyone. It's not my intention.
> 
> (Or maybe it is, and it's premeditated. You'll never know)

**Ben - Thirty-Six**

 

I open my eyes to the most beautiful vision I’ve ever seen.  Rey is asleep in my bed.  She’s curled up with her back against my chest.  Her hair is spread over my pillow.  Her eyelids fan over the freckles on her cheeks.  Her pink lips are slightly parted, and she’s snoring lightly.  She’s a goddess and I’m not worthy.  One of my arms is under her pillow, and the other is wrapped around her waist.  Rey is here, and I’m holding her.  We’re sleeping together, even after I told her she’d be getting her capital. 

Rey wants _me_ , echoes in my head again.  Rey wants…

I hear a drawer opening in the kitchen, and water running.  Then the drawer closes, and a cabinet opens.

 _Mom_.  

Is she trying to wake us up?  If Leia Organa wants something to happen, it will happen or she’ll die trying.  I’m sure the noise in the kitchen will get progressively louder until she achieves her goal. 

Reluctantly I slip away from Rey, but only to shut my mom up and return to her.  I glance at the alarm clock by the bed as I walk toward the door.  It’s not even seven o’clock, for fuck’s sake!  I must have picked _that_ up from Rey and her friends, because I heard it more than once last night.  I smile as I think of it, how much I enjoyed spending time with other people.  Usually I only barely tolerate being in a room with other people, except maybe Mitaka.  I couldn’t have chosen a better assistant, because he doesn’t get angry at my outbursts and he doesn’t mind when I text him on the weekends.

Which reminds me.  I grab my phone off the nightstand where I left it charging, before I open and close the door as quietly as possible.  And then I turn toward the kitchen and stalk down the hallway.  I’m sure my displeasure is visible on my odd looking face when I turn the corner and see my mom, in my kitchen, making coffee.

“What the hell mom!  We’re still sleeping!” I exclaim, in a very, very loud whisper.  I’m sure she can hear how upset I am.

She turns toward me, and the biggest smile creeps across her face, until it’s so bright it might blind me.  “ _We_?”  That’s when she approaches me and wraps me up in one of her hugs.  She’s like two feet shorter than I am, and her face hits at my ribcage, but she has a hidden strength that makes me wince when she holds me tight.  Then she releases me, and reaches all the way up to pat my cheeks, just like she did with Rey last night, and she’s done with me all my life.  “Rey’s lovely.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen a brighter light in my life.  Her smile just illuminates a room, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, Mother,” I agree, before I return my attention to my phone.

 _Please send a Passenger t-shirt in every color available to my condo in Cambridge._   Then I remember that the black shirt she wore last night was baggy and did nothing to show off her lean figure and small breasts.  But she seemed to like it.  I'd just rather see more of her.  _All of them in small, and medium._

Then I glance back at my mom.  I hadn’t realized how much she’s aged recently.  Not that she looks old, no not that.  But a bit of her vibrance seems to be missing.  “Speaking of charming beautiful people, have you heard from your father lately?”  I shake my head, and return my attention to my phone.  Anything to get out of having this conversation again.  “I’m not comparing Rey to Han, or saying you two will end up the way we did.  You won’t, son.”

I sigh loudly, thankful when my phone alerts with Mitaka’s response.  _It’s Sunday, Sir._

I try to hold in a chuckle.  _That’s never stopped you before.  I have every faith in your capabilities._

“Really, Ben, Rey is gorgeous.  When you spoke about her, I never thought she’d be so…”

“She’s amazing.  She’s not just beautiful, either.  She’s a star student, a great mechanic, and people love her.  It’s so fascinating to watch how people respond to her.  It’s like flowers to sunlight, they just open up to her.”

“Even you?” my mom asks gently.

My life flashes before my eyes.  Long nights in my room with my computer, my books, and my telescope as my only companions.  Long days wishing I could find one person, _just one_ , whom I could actually connect with.  Learning became my goal.  I knew I’d never become a politician like my mother, I don’t have the personality for it.  But I can understand computers.  They have a code that I can read, and they almost always do what they’re supposed to, as long as you know how to use them.  Then days in a huge office, still alone.  Not being able to go to the conferences I used to love, for fear of getting overwhelmed by job seekers and gold diggers.  Yes, they were easy to spot, the women who were too beautiful to be real who would approach me just to say hello.  I always ignored them and walked away, knowing, _knowing_ what they wanted from me.  I attended Comic Con as Batman one year, that was amazing.  I had the anonymity to just be myself, while participating in what I love.  Getting in the back of the Passenger ride shares that weekend was a blast.  I never took the cowl off while at the con except in the bathroom.  And my costume _is_ fantastic.  I wonder what Finn would do if he saw it.

I never realized exactly how alone I was.  I was just comfortable there, in the place that I’d carved out for myself, _by myself_.  Until Rey.  Until I saw that website and it changed everything about my pathetic existence. 

“Yes, mom, even me.” 

She pats my cheeks one more time, before I bend down so she can kiss my forehead.  She seems content after that, and returns to the coffee maker. 

“If I go back to bed, will you stay quiet?” I ask, as my eyes wander to the coffee she’s pouring.  I want the coffee, but I also want to return to my warm bed where Rey is waiting for me. 

“Will _you_ remain quiet?  Or should I put in my earbuds?” she asks suggestively.

“Ugh… Mom!  Don’t!”  I grumble.  I don’t want to think about my mom hearing me and Rey… Just no.

“Do I smell coffee?” Rey asks, as she enters the kitchen.  Her arms are over her head, and the lines of her body are elongated and oh, so feline.  Her eyes shine, and she’s all dimples, beauty, and sweetness.  Somehow all the terrible memories and hurt feelings melt away as soon as I see her.  My mother is right, she radiates light and warmth. 

“Come here and I’ll pour you a cup.  Cream and sugar?” my mother says to my girlfriend. 

 _Girlfriend_.  My entire being sighs at the thought. 

“Yes, please,” she answers as she walks toward my mom, barefoot and wearing the black leggings and t-shirt she fell asleep in.  As she does, she touches my stomach as if it’s the easiest thing to do, before muttering, “Good morning.  Did you sleep well?”  Then she tips her head up to offer her lips to me, and even though she’s taller than Leia I still have to bend down.  But I do. 

I kiss her gently, in front of my mom, and mutter, "Umhmmm.  You?"  She nods.  It’s so easy.  There’s no thinking, or over thinking.  It’s an immediate reaction to her offer.  Her hand slides up my chest, to lightly caress my neck and tug at the tips of my hair.  I absolutely love it when she does that.  I get weak in the knees and…

No, go down!  Go down!  Not while my mother is in the room!

She glides away from me, toward the coffee cup my mother is offering her.  I kiss the top of her head before she gets away. 

“I’d like a cup,” I say to my mom.

“It’s right there son,” she says.  She doesn’t even glance over at me.  Then, as she’s always the consummate hostess, she takes Rey's arm and says, “Let’s have our coffee in the other room, with the view of the river, and we can chat about the meeting you have scheduled tomorrow.”

Rey glances at me, and I can literally see fireballs shooting from her eyes.  “Yes, lets,” Rey replies, and allows my mom to take her into the other room.

And while I’m making my coffee I hear my mother say, “I love your accent, Rey.  It’s so charming.  And of course Ben would love it, after his Spice Girls phase.  He was so in love with…”

“Mother!” I yell out.

“What was her name?  Posh spice?”  She’s determined to annihilate me. 

My phone grabs my attention for a moment.  _The shirts will be there around five_.  Mitaka is efficient, and very competent. 

 _Excellent work, as usual_ , I reply as I sip my coffee.

“My assistant reserved a table at The Capitol Grille for lunch at noon.  Is that fine with everyone?” Leia asks Rey. 

“Oh!  I’ve never been there…”  Rey exclaims excitedly, before her her voice trails off.

Leia notices immediately.  Without missing a beat she says, “You know, I planned to shop while I was here.  I’ve left a message with the manager of DVF whom I consider a close personal friend, and she always lets me in early when I'm in town.  You simply must come with me,” she says with a grin.  “You will look amazing in one of her wrap dresses.”  Then she sips her coffee, and Rey glances over the back of the couch at me. 

She didn’t even have to look around to find me, it’s as if she could feel my eyes on her, from where I’m leaning against the island.  Her eyes grow wide, and she bites her bottom lip.  I smile at her, encouraging, comfortingly.  I’ve been waiting for the chance to give her everything her heart desires.  I should have known Leia Organa would be the catalyst I would need to achieve that goal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The sentence about Ben leaning down so his mother could kiss him gave ME all the feels. It hurts me that we will not get a mother/son reunion in EPIX. 
> 
> I can't say enough that I am floored by the love this fic is getting. Thank you all so much for the continued good vibes. Your comments encourage me. Your kudos are my fuel. Thank you!


	37. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know everyone is busy with preparations for the holiday weekend. I have been too.   
> So here, have some Ben Solo deeply in love fluff!   
> Hopefully I'll be able to write tomorrow, but no promises!  
> And, as a special treat, there's a mood board from the fabulous BunnyJonez to go along with the next chapter, which will be from Rey's POV.

**Ben - Thirty-Seven**

 

“I love this car.  It rides like you’re sitting on a cloud,” my mother says to Rey.  “You chose well.”

Leia is sitting in the front seat beside Rey, who is driving competently and carefully with her idol in the passenger seat.  Not that she’s a reckless driver otherwise, but I can definitely tell the difference from when it was just the two of us.

“Oh, this is Ben’s car.  He picked it out,” Rey states, before glancing up at the rear view mirror.  I’m sitting in the back, in the center of the seat.  It’s not uncomfortable, even with my long legs. 

“Rey picked out the convertible.  She couldn’t take her eyes off it,” I interject. 

“He’s telling the truth.  I couldn’t.  It’s so gorgeous.”  Rey grins, and she rivals the sun with her brightness.  “And it drives like a dream.”

“We’ll have to take it out one evening,” Leia suggests. 

Rey smiles at the prospect of hanging out with Senator Organa, but she glances up at me again. 

She wants _me_.

“There’s a spot,” my mom says, as she’s appointed herself the task of finding parking on Newbury Street, which is an impossible feat even at nine thirty on a Sunday morning.  “Right in front of Max Mar--- Oh, never…”

Rey goes by it, stops, puts on her blinker, and begins to park.  My mother is visibly stunned, as she never really got the hang of parallel parking, even though she’s lived in Boston most of her life, at least part of the time.  Except when she’s in DC, that is.  Then Rey is parked, and giving Leia the slightest of grins. 

“Show off.”  There’s no malice in my mother’s tone, though.  She turns around to smile at me.  “Is she as perfect as she seems?”

“She’s pretty amazing,” I admit. 

My mother exits the car and pulls her phone out of her coat pocket.  Rey turns her head to the side to glance at my mom, but she’s talking to me when she says, “I’m nervous.”

“Don’t be.  It’ll be great.  I promise,” I assure her, before I lean forward and kiss her cheek.  My mom motions for us to exit the car, and hangs up the phone.  “Leia is going to love this.”

I scoot toward the door away from traffic and exit, leaving Rey no other choice but to come with us.

Leia looks concerned, but I’m not.  “She’ll come.”

After standing in the chilly pre-spring wind for only a few moments Rey does join us.  “It’s so cold!” she exclaims, as she steals one of my gloved hands out of the pocket of my navy blue coat. 

My mom glances at me again, knowingly.  Rey is wearing leggings with a cotton hoodie with no coat and no gloves.  Leia looks determined, as if my girlfriend is another injustice that needs to be resolved.  And then her eyes squint up, and she glares at my coat. 

I sigh as I remove it, and wrap it around Rey’s shoulders, even as she protests.  But that doesn’t last long, as she quickly thrusts her arms into the sleeves.  She expresses her appreciation with a loud, “Thank you!”, and a squeeze of my hand.

I’m dressed a little more appropriately for the weather in a long sleeve light blue shirt under a thick navy blue sweater with heavy denim jeans.  And thankfully we don’t have to go far before we’re climbing the steps to my mom’s favorite shop.  Rey holds my hand a little tighter.  I’ve seen her furious, happy, affectionate, and determined.  I’ve never seen her afraid.  It’s almost endearing that something, anything, can intimidate her. 

It’s just a little daunting that it just so happens to be my mother’s favorite pastime.

Leia warmly greets the manager, who unlocks the door when she sees the senator approach, and quickly locks it behind us when we’re inside.  That’s when Rey gazes up at my out of the corner of her eye, and realizes for the first time that money really can unlock doors.

When we’re inside Rey turns into an eight year old in a candy store.  She flits from one brightly colored dress to another, like a butterfly trying to choose just the right flower.  And although Leia is pretending to shop too, she spends more time saying, “That would look beautiful on you,” or, “Not that one with your coloring, dear.”

And I am taking it all in, the expression on her face as she gazes lustfully at the dresses the same way she did with the car, the excitement in her eyes, the hesitation when she looks at the price tags.

“Ignore that.  Ben can afford it.  What else is he going to do with his money, invent Skynet?” my mother jokes.

“I can’t believe you know what Skynet is,” I reply, shocked and proud at the same time. 

“Of course I do.  I watched movies before you were born,” she comments with just a tad bit too much sarcasm. 

Both my mother and my girlfriend have their arms full of dresses, and I’m carrying several myself, as we walk back toward the fitting rooms.  Thankfully I have games on my phone to keep me occupied while waiting on them.  When I was younger, it was my Game Boy.  Some things never change.

I realize that I’m only here to swipe my credit card, to carry their bags, and to ooh and aah and say _yes buy that one_ , when Rey comes out of the dressing room.  But I wouldn’t have it any other way.  There is nowhere else in the world I would rather be right now than here with my two favorite women.  Especially since I know that we’re going to have a really good meal at noon. 

Suddenly she leaves the dressing room wearing a gauzy black dress with a bright floral pattern, that hugs her athletic body perfectly and might show off a little too much of her left thigh.  The dress is perfect, and it looks spectacular on her.

She glances at the price tag again, but I walk to her and tug it off the dress.  “Yes, buy that one,” I insist, as I gaze down at her.

“I’m not sure,” she replies, and bites at her bottom lip.

“I am.  We’re getting this one.”  My eyes don’t leave Rey as I extend my hand toward the manager, and offer her the tag.  “And the boots.  And whatever else she wants.”

“Ben,” she sighs.  It’s a protest.

She’s not a gold digger.  She wants _me_.  And I want her to be happy.  “Trust me.  Buy the dress.  It will make me _very_ happy.”  I whisper in her ear before my lips trail over her cheek to lightly kiss her lips.  I am so in love with her.  She is going to get everything she never knew she wanted today.  And I’m going to give it to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading, commenting, and sharing. This weekend is going to be long and busy for everyone, including me, so just know that if I haven't replied to your comment yet, I will. 
> 
> If anyone wants to comment to me how to tag people, I'd really appreciate it! LOL  
> Well wishes to everyone this weekend!


	38. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia and Ben take Rey shopping, part 2, accompanied by a gorgeous mood board by BunnyJonez.

 

**Rey - Thirty-Eight**

 

”Try this on, but don’t show it to Ben,” Leia says, after I’ve tried on literally a dozen other dresses, seven of which Ben has decided he has to buy.  I go along with it, against my better judgment.  I am falling for Ben, yes.  I love being with him, even through this.  I loved waking up in his bed, walking into his kitchen and finding him and his mother chatting. 

 _Senator Organa poured a cup of coffee for me!_   That is definitely one of the highlights of my life so far.  That, and last night with Ben of course.  And every other moment I’ve spent with Ben.  And today, watching his eyes light up when I walked out of the dressing room in the first outfit, and the next, and the next.  I thought men were supposed to be bored while out shopping with their SO, but he seems to be even more excited about it than I am.

And so is Leia.  I slide the black dress over my head, and I haven’t even got it pulled all the way down when she excitedly asks, “Is it on?” and opens the door.  And when she sees it on me she exclaims, “That dress looks like it was made for you.”

“But I have nowhere to wear a dress like this,” I complain.  Then I see the back of the dress, and there’s nothing there but the two little straps from the front.

“I’ll make sure Ben has somewhere to take you,” she assures me.  “But I think you need a few other things first.”  And then she hands me the first dress I tried on, and says, “I think this is the one you should wear to lunch.”

Ben doesn’t even think twice about the ungodly amount of money that he has to pay for the outfits, including the one Leia suggested I wear out of the store.  I’m wearing the boots, too.  It is a fabulous outfit, and I can’t help but feel like I’m holding my head just a tiny bit higher.  But it’s not even ten thirty, and lunch isn’t until noon.

“So, where to now?” I ask, as I head toward the car.  But Ben places the bags in the back, and Leia steers me away from it.  It doesn’t take long until Ben rejoins us.

“I was thinking you might need a coat,” Ben suggests, as I’m wearing his again.  It’s almost as long as the dress is.  Damn, that just reminds me how tall he is. 

“Burberry for a coat, and then Chanel for a nice purse,” Leia suggests.

“That sounds great,” Ben agrees.

So they both take off walking, toward the next block.  I follow along behind them, in my borrowed coat.  We pass stores that Leia declares we must visit after lunch.  “She’ll need a nice watch,” he says as we pass Tiffany’s.

“And Armani will be a great place to buy her suits.  She’ll need a nice one to meet with Leonard tomorrow.” 

And then we’re inside Burberry, and Ben is requesting I return his coat, which he also purchased here.  And a salesperson quickly approaches, stating, “It’s nice to see you again, Senator Organa, Mr. Solo.” 

What does it say when your boyfriend is recognized and greeted warmly inside a store where a coat costs… I gasp when I see the first price tag.

“We would like to find a nice coat for this lovely young lady,” Leia says, and grabs my arm to lead me toward the women’s section.

And I want to say no, I really do, but then I see a gorgeous coat that is cut like Ben’s.  Where Ben’s is navy blue, this one is a light beige, cashmere, and very feminine.  “Try it on,” Leia tempts.  And that’s all the incentive I need.  And then they’re showing me the scarves to match, and I must have the gloves.  Before I know it, I’ve got it all on and I’m wearing it into Chanel.

“I can’t,” I say, when I see the price on the pretty beige quilted purse.

“It’s not just a purse, dear.  It’s an investment.  You’ll have this purse for the rest of your life,” Leia states.  “Besides that, it matches the coat perfectly.”  Then she hands it to me, and it smells like leather and money.

I want it.  I’ve never been a person who cared about name brands, until right now.  And Leia’s right, the purse will never go out of style.  It’s definitely a purse I would carry forever.  Still… it’s more than five thousand dollars.  Five.  Thousand.  _Dollars_!

“Ben, can I speak to you alone for a moment?” I ask, as I lead him away from his mother, and the saleslady who sees dollar signs when she looks at how I’m dressed.

“You don’t like…” he starts.

But I interrupt him when we’re far enough away from everyone else in the store.  “Red light, Ben!  Red light!”

“We can go back to…” he begins.

I shush him.  “Do you know how much this purse cost?” I ask.  So he reaches out and grabs the tag, and I make an “Arrrrggg!” sound in frustration.  “Red light!”

He leans forward, close enough so that I realize he smells even more expensive than the purse, and the coat, and everything else he’s bought me.  He reeks of money, _old money_ , and class.  He was born for this.  And I’m just Rey.  I’m Rey from nowhere. 

Ben, though, being the most physically affectionate man I’ve ever met, pulls me into the most gentle hug imaginable.  “Do you remember when I said red light in your bedroom, and you didn’t stop?  Because you knew that what would happen next would be the most amazing experience I’ve ever had, and you didn’t want me to miss out on it because of my worries and fears.  Somehow you knew that I would enjoy it, and you wanted me to be happy.”

“Because you’d done it to me in your bedroom with your mouth, and I knew how incredible that felt.  That’s why.”  It should be obvious that I just wanted him to feel good.  But of course he’s Ben, who doubts and second guesses everything. 

“It’s the same thing, Rey.  I want you to feel good, because you make me feel good.”

“But you don’t have to buy me things to make me feel good.  I feel good just being with you.”  His arms are still wrapped around me.  He’s so strong, but he treats me like a China doll, like I’m special and something to be taken care of.

He kisses the top of my head, and it makes me feel not just desired, but loved. 

“I’m your boyfriend now, you said so last night.  I know I don’t _have_ to buy you things.  But I’ve watched my mother and my father.  He’s always bought what he wants and needs.  He bought into a racing team.  But he never had the money to pay the mortgage, or buy my clothes, or help my mom with the bills.  She didn’t need it, thankfully.  But what if she did?  Shouldn’t he have at least helped a little?”

“It’s not the same thing, Ben.”  I try to counter his argument.  The difference is his mother and father are married, I guess I mean I don’t think they live together and they have different last names.  “We’ve only known each other a week.”

“I’ve known you long enough to know that if I didn’t have you in my life it would break my heart.  Eight days or eighty years.  It doesn’t matter, I know what I want.”  I move to pull away, so that I can look into his eyes.  But he holds me just a little bit tighter.  “And I’m not going to stop taking care of you, ever.”

I can’t argue with that.  I breathe him in, his scent and his warmth.  He is perfect, and I’m the luckiest woman in the world.  He doesn’t think he deserves me, but he’s wrong.  “I don’t deserve you, Ben.  You’re amazing, and I’m just Rey.  I don’t even know my real last name.  I’m nothing.  I’m no one.”

Finally he pulls away, to look into _my_ eyes.  His are full of longing, and sadness.  “Not to me, Rey.  You are everything to me.  You’re everything I ever wanted.”

He kisses me, and the gentle touch lets me know he wants me.  He kisses me in front of everyone, like he’s not ashamed to be with me. 

“So let me buy you things.  Let me help you get your capital.  Let me be the one who does all the things that no one else has ever done for you.”  There is something else, it’s unsaid but it’s obvious when I look into his eyes.  _Love_. 

Leia apparently thinks we’ve had enough time to discuss the purchase of the purse.  “Come on kids.  Our reservation is in half an hour, and you need this purse too, to go with the dress that you’re wearing to the ballet.” 

“The ballet?” Ben and I both say together.  Ben is obviously less excited about the prospect than I am. 

“Well she needs somewhere to go to wear that sexy black dress.  That reminds me, you need shoes too.  And I happen to have two tickets to the performance of Sleeping Beauty tonight.”

“Great!” I exclaim, and he grumbles the same word.

 

*****

 

We walk into the restaurant, and are immediately seated.  For the first time in my life I don’t feel like an outcast in public.  I mean, I know my friends accept me, but I’ve always felt out of place around other people.  Today, though, I feel special.

“Senator,” people say when they encounter Leia, with a nod of their heads.  People respect Leia Organa, and everything she’s done for her constituents.  And when she introduces me as her son’s girlfriend, they smile and nod and look at Ben.  They even tell him, “Congratulations,” like I’m some kind of prize. 

And Ben looks at me like that, even though I don’t even know what to order in a restaurant like this.  So when the waiter comes to take our order, I just say the same thing that Leia says, “Tuna tartare.”  There is no way I’m going to order the salad Ben chooses. 

But I’m a little jealous when they sit Ben’s vegan salad in front of him.  I want that too, but I act like I’m satisfied with my lunch.  It’s not bad.  It’s actually pretty good.  It’s just different.  It’s definitely not tacos, or sweet and sour chicken.

“Would you like more tea, miss?” the waiter asks politely.  It’s amazing how people treat you when you’re wearing expensive clothing.

“Please,” I say just as politely.

“When we’re finished here, we can go to Armani and pick out your suits, and maybe pants too.  Then we’ll visit Loro Piana for sweaters.  If we have time we can have facials and mani pedis.  Ben won’t mind, he can’t look away from his phone to eat.”  Leia’s tone is pointed, and he doesn’t even acknowledge it. 

“Ben, what’s wrong?” I ask, and touch his hand.

When he looks up at me, I’d swear he was afraid of something.  But he shakes his head.  “It’s nothing.  How is your lunch?”

“Good, thanks,” I say, and take a bite. 

But he still seems distracted, after we leave the restaurant, and while we finish up our shopping.  Leia has a whole list of things she thinks I need, from new jeans to new tennis shoes.  And the cashmere bomber sweater and the twinset I chose really are the softest things I’ve ever felt besides Ben’s hair.  But the more space I fill up in the back of the SUV, the more I realize I have nowhere to put these lovely, expensive things.

“I don’t have anywhere to put all of this.”  I try to make it sound like I’m joking, but I really am dreading taking all of this back to my apartment. 

“Stay with me,” Ben implores.  We’re standing at the back of the SUV together.  Leia has already climbed into the passenger seat, and I’m walking around to the driver’s side while Ben is filling up the cargo area. 

“Ben… I can’t…” I begin, but I can see how serious he is.  I can see it on his face and in his eyes.

“We can go to the ballet tonight, and you could spend the night with me.” 

“Okay,” I sigh.  Something is wrong, and I have no idea what it is.  But I trust him.  He kisses me before we both climb into the car.  And the entire car ride back to his place his eyes are on his phone. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dress and boots from DVF. The Burberry coat. The Armani suit. The Chanel purse. All of it is on the mood board. The Tuna Tartare. The image of Newbury Street.  
> Notice the Chanel quilting in the center and the signature Burberry plaid framing all of it. No detail is spared!  
> And there's Ben, blissfully happy and carrying Rey's bags.  
> Everything is as it should be. BunnyJonez is a genuis!


	39. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What was Ben worried about at lunch? This is where we find out.

**Ben - Thirty-Nine**

 

My mother and my girlfriend are in the guest bedroom, carefully hanging up the clothes they picked out.  They’re chatting like they’ve been friends all their lives.  I make sure they are engrossed in whatever it is they are doing, and steal into the makeshift office off my bedroom.  It was made to be a second walk in closet, or a dressing area, but it’s big enough to fit a desk and my array of technology perfectly.  It does need its own cooling fan, and I of course leave the door open when no one is here.

I’ve been hacking into Rey’s emails for a while now.  I first did it to set up the meeting with her.  I’ve glanced at it periodically hoping to get more info about the mysterious man from the bar, but she uses it almost exclusively to email investors.  Occasionally her friends send her some goofy chain mail or whatever.  But today, there’s an email that has a subject line that catches my attention.  Two words.  _Ben Solo_.

I contemplate not opening it again, but that lasts for all of four seconds.  When I open it and read it for the second time, my heart sinks. 

 

Rey Jakku,

How well do you know Ben Solo?  I asked you that question last night.  We didn’t have time to elaborate then.  Now, you must think about the question.

Don’t you find it strange that Ben Solo contacted you out of the blue when you posted an auction for your virginity?  Haven’t you wondered how he got your email address, or how he crafted a bogus email to lure you to the coffee shop?

Do you know that Ben Solo is not only what he says he is?

He is more than just the owner of a billion dollar company.  Look deeper, and ask yourself this question: who is Ben Solo.

Sincerely,

Armitage Smith

 

I first read the email while we were waiting for our lunch.  I began a rudimentary search to trace the email address, but it got me literally nowhere.  _armitage@skbase.com_.  I’ve searched for the owner of the website but I can’t find them.  And if I can’t find it, www.skbase.com shouldn’t exist. 

I thought maybe it was just the fact that I was on my phone, and it was holding me back.  But even on my state of the art desktop, which I built from dual Core i9 processors, I can’t trace the website, just like I couldn’t trace the bidder on daisyauction.com. 

It only makes sense that the bidder and the red haired gentleman at the club are the same person.  And he found Rey, he approached her in public.

So now I have to ask myself, how do I keep Rey safe from weird stalkers?

“Ben, are you in here?”  I hear Rey call out from the bedroom.

“One moment,” I answer her.  Then I look down at my watch and wonder if it’s time to get ready for the ballet.  Surely not, it’s only after four now and the performance begins at five thirty.  I exit the office, and make sure I have the key before locking the door when I close it. 

“Hey, what’s up?” I ask.  I try to look casual, like it’s not weird to step out of the closet like this, but I can’t pull it off.  I’m sure my face is blood red.  And before she can ask what I’m doing, I state, “It’s an office.  I’m just having a problem at work”.

She nods, but her expression tells me she doubts my explanation.  “Sure, whatever.  Speaking of your work, that’s why I came to get you.  Your assistant is here, and he has something for you.”

That news is enough to make me smile.  “Great!  Actually the box is for you.  I asked Mitaka to have them delivered.”

“Ben, you’ve already bought me so much today,” she argues.  But she hurriedly rushes toward me after only a moment or so, and grabs my hand.  “I can’t wait.  Show me!”  Then Rey drags me into the kitchen, where my mother is steeping a cup of tea for my assistant.

“Cream or sugar?” Leia asks him, as she turns toward me and smiles.  “Ben honey, help the nice young man open the box.”

“Both please ma’am,” he replies.  I turn toward Mitaka, and the box is sitting beside him on the island.  “Thank you, Mrs. Solo.  A nice cup of tea will hit the spot after the chilly drive.” 

My mother gives him the side eye when he calls her Mrs. Solo, but I’m not sure he notices.  “You’re such a nice, polite young man, Dopheld.  Is my son treating you well?” my mother asks him. She sits the cup in front of him, then gathers the cream and sugar as she starts another cup for Rey.

“Ugh, I’ll do it!” Rey exclaims, and grabs a pair of scissors to open the box.  “I’d love a cuppa if there’s still water in the kettle,” she says, but she doesn’t stop what she’s doing.  She squeals louder than I thought humanly possible when the box is open and she sees what’s inside.  “This is amazing!  Thank you!  Thank you!”  She practically runs toward me and jumps into my arms, still holding a gray Passenger t-shirt.

At the same time the doorbell rings, and Rey wiggles out of my arms to run toward the door.  She opens it wide, and Paige enters carrying a shopping bag.  “Wow, nice place,” she observes, as she looks out the glass doors toward the river.  “Oh, and great outfit, Rey.”  She eyes my girlfriend up and down, and Rey smiles brightly.

“Thank you.  Isn’t it gorgeous,” Rey croons with pride.

I wonder for a split second what Paige is doing in my apartment, until she slides up to my assistant and says, “Hey, this one’s cute.  What’s his name?”

Mitaka looks like he might piss himself because a cute girl is talking to him.  “Go easy on my assistant, Paige,” I say, when I see his face turn blood red.

“Look what I got,” Rey calls out, to take Paige’s attention from poor Mitaka.  She’s got tens of thousands of dollars worth of clothes today, and she’s showing Paige her Passenger t-shirts. 

I’m watching it all, fascinated by the amount of people and activity going on in my kitchen, in my condo.  I feel a grin forming on my lips.  It’s nice.  Having friends and people around is nice.  It’s not scary at all.

My mom carries a cup of tea to me, with sugar just like I like it. 

“It’s not so bad, is it?” she asks, as she stands with me and watches Paige and Rey interact, while Mitaka steals glances at Paige.

“No, not so bad,” I agree.  “I can’t believe you called him Dopheld in front of other people.  You know how much he hates it.”

“He called me Mrs. Solo!”  She fakes outrage, and wraps her arm around my waist.  “Ben, you could not have done better than Rey.  You chose well.  She’s perfect for you.”  I look down at my small, petite mother who is actually a powerhouse in a small package, and she gives me a motherly grin.  “She won’t let you get away with any of your bullshit.  You need that.”

“Yes, mother, I need her.  I can’t imagine my life without her.” 

“Oh, come on you have to see my dress!” Rey says excitedly, as she pulls Paige toward the spare bedroom.  But she stops suddenly before she walks past me, and tips her head up for a kiss.  After I’ve gently kissed her, she smiles up at me and whispers, “Thank you, Ben.”

I return her smile as I watch her walk away.  But I think my mom looks more proud than I do. 

“I should be…” Mitaka begins, before my mother stops him.

“No, please stay for dinner.  You and Paige can keep me company while Ben and Rey are at the ballet.” 

I groan inwardly.  Is she going to try to play matchmaker for those two?

Anyway, I’m glad Mitaka decided to bring the shirts himself.  “I have something to discuss with you,” I say to him.  And I don’t need to tell my mom that I’m going to arrange a body guard for my girlfriend, to protect her from the ginger with the bad intentions.  Mom doesn’t need to worry about that.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Ben is bad for reading her emails. He's a hacker, and he's trying to figure out who is bidding on his girlfriend's auction. He doesn't have the best interpersonal skills. I'm sorry. :(


	40. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When a night out takes a turn for the dramatic, Ben Solo style.
> 
> Also, thank BunnyJonez for all the hard work and effort she put into another beautiful mood board. It is PERFECT! Thank you so much!

 

**Rey - Forty**

 

I really can’t believe I’m showing this much skin on this chilly late winter evening.  But here I am, walking out of Ben’s spare bedroom wearing a six hundred dollar dress, thousand dollar shoes, and carrying a purse that cost as much as my textbooks for the last two semesters.  Paige was called in to Ben’s condo, not to flirt with Mitaka but to do my hair and makeup.  While she was working, Senator Leia Organa painted my fingernails and toenails the palest shade of pink, from an eight inch high pointed bottle. 

When I protested, several times, she simply waived off my concerns that someone as powerful as she is should not being doing my mani-pedi.  “Rey, I didn’t have a daughter.  I missed out on all of this fussy stuff.  Just please, let me do this.”  She said it with the kindest smile.  How could I deny her?

When Paige was ready to paint on lipstick, Leia pulled one out of her purse.  “Try this one,” she said, and handed her a petal pink shade in a pointed gold tube.  It was prettier, and a little more _me_ than the red that Paige had chosen.  Once it’s on, it looks like it was made for me.  “You keep this one, I’ll buy another,” Leia continued, when I tried to return it to her.  Then she grabbed a compact out of her purse, and handed it to me.  “My mother gave me this when I went off to college.  You might get more use out of it than I have lately.” 

“Senator Organa, I can’t take this,” I argued.  The compact is polished silver, and engraved with the letters LAO.  It is very special, an heirloom that I don’t deserve. 

“Please, call me Leia,” she said, as she wrapped her hand around mine, over the expensive, sentimental gift.

So Paige is on one side of me, trying to force my hair to lay over one shoulder, just how she wants it.  Leia is on the other side, touching my shoulder almost encouragingly.  And Ben is in front of me, eyes wide and mouth agape.  I see Leia’s smile out of the corner of my eye, so proud of her work like she’s a fairy godmother. 

“You look incredible,” Ben says, and approaches me with both hands extended. 

“You look fantastic,” I assure him, as I take in his black on black suit with a black shirt and tie.  He’s combed his thick waves back off his face, and I catch a whiff of his cologne.  Just the sight and scent of him gets my hormones going. 

“You both look amazing together.  Just perfect,” Leia says, and hands my brand new coat to her son.  “Make sure she wears this if it’s too cold.” 

I shiver a little at the thought of what I didn’t have as a little girl, but I smile too, because I have it now.  And so does Leia.  It’s like I fell into the spot that was waiting for me, where fate had decided I needed to be. 

“Are you cold?” Ben asks, as he wraps his strong arms around me, before he kisses the top of my head.  I don’t feel as small right now, wearing the four inch heels, but I still feel safe in his arms, as if nothing can touch me.

“Not in the least,” I sigh my reply. 

At that exact moment there’s another knock on the door, and Paige runs to open it.  Finn pops inside and announces, “Your driver has arrived.”

“Finn’s driving us in the Jaguar,” Ben informs me, as he releases me from his embrace to take my hand and lead me toward the door.  He removes something from his pocket and hands it to Finn, who grins like a bandit.  I wonder how much he offered Finn to be our personal driver tonight.  Whatever it was, Finn’s awfully happy about it.  “Your check is in the envelope, Paige.”

Well I guess everyone is benefitting from me dating a billionaire.  That’s not a bad thing, is it?

He opens the door for me when we arrive at the car, and kisses my hand as he helps me inside.  Ben is a dream come true, he’s a gentleman a passionate lover and everything I could ever ask for in a man.  He’s perfect, and I am such a lucky girl.

 

*****

 

I am standing in line for the ladies room, refreshing my lipstick in the compact Leia gave me.  Ben is standing in line for wine, so I’m alone when the redhead from the bar last night approaches me.  He’s wearing another Burberry suit, and he still has that aura of money and power that some men always carry around with them.  I’m sure Ben is richer and more powerful than this man, but Ben carries himself with a quiet control that is far more sexy.  And Ben is much better looking, although the red haired man is also attractive.  What did he say his name was last night?  Armitage Smith. 

“Have you thought about my email?” he asks in a low voice, as if afraid someone will hear him.

“What email?” I demand.  I step toward him, and in the four inch heels I am nearly his height. What did he say his name was last night?  _Armitage Smith_.  That’s it.

“Of course the hacker Kylo Ren would have intercepted the email.”  His blue eyes are intense, practically boring into mine.

I frown at him, but my eyes go wide.  “Who is Kylo Ren?  What are you talking about?” I demand. 

“Ben is…” the man says, and before he can say anything else, Ben appears as if out of nowhere and shoves the redhead against the wall.  In the most shocking display of raw strength I’ve ever seen in person, Ben lifts the other man off the ground, and stares at him right in the eyes.  It’s a bit scary, and also extremely hot. 

I shouldn’t just be standing here watching my boyfriend manhandle this man, but I’m stunned into inactivity.  This is not the sweet gentleman I’ve grown used to.  This is a man who is protective to the point of near violence.

“Do not talk to my girlfriend.  Don’t email her.  Don’t even look at her,” I hear Ben spit out through gritted teeth. 

Mr. Smith still has a smug look on his face, and that might be the most disconcerting part of the entire argument.  And I can’t exactly make out what he replies to Ben, but it sounds like, “Smoke says hello.”

Ben drops him as quickly as he lifted him up, and when an attendant approaches, the two men are staring at each other as if nothing ever happened.

“Enjoy the ballet, Miss Jakku,” Mr. Smith says as he walks past me.

The lights begin to blink, and a chime sounds.  Ben still hasn’t looked at me, hasn’t acknowledged that I’m even standing near him.  He’s taking long, deep breaths, while telling the attendant, “Everything’s fine.  It was just horseplay between two friends, nothing more.”

The attendant seems to accept his explanation, and quickly leaves.  And I’m standing here staring at Ben as everyone else leaves to return to their seats.  When Ben finally turns my way, his eyes are enflamed with passion, and anger, and… jealousy.  His dark eyes are burning with it. 

“What did you do, Ben?  Why did you…”  I can’t even find the words to ask what just happened.

“I did it to protect you, Rey.  I did it because of…” He doesn't finish his sentence, but I can almost see what he's thinking from the thin hard line his full lips form, and the squinting up of his beautiful eyes.

“The auction?  Was he the other bidder?” I demand.  He doesn’t answer, instead he looks around the room to find everyone else has gone.  “Are you a hacker, Ben?  Did you hack the website?”

“Let’s go back to our seats,” he says, and take my elbow.  He’s avoiding my eyes.  He barely touches me, even though I have all of this skin exposed.  His hands are shaking.

He’s afraid.  He’s afraid of me, of how I’ll react to the news that he’s a hacker.

“Ben,” I whisper.  He looks at me again, and the fear is so evident in his eyes I shiver.  He’s escorting me back into our box seats, and as soon as we’re inside he shoves me against the wall. 

He kisses me immediately, with so much desire and passion my knees knock together.  His tongue thrusts into my mouth, with an urgency he rarely shows.  And when he finally pulls away, after a kiss that has my center tingling and begging for more, _please more_ , he says, “I love you Rey, and there’s no fucking way they’re going to touch you.  You’re mine.”

And with that, he twines our fingers together, and expects me to walk to our chairs.  I can barely stand.  But I do, and when we’re seated again, he kisses my head, and rests his cheek against my hair. 

He loves me.  Ben Solo loves me!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course he loves her. And now he's told her. And we can only hold our breath and wait to see what happens next!
> 
> Thank you everyone for the lovely comments, all the love you've shown this story! I continue to be bowled over by the amount of love you're showing me and my story. Thank you, thank you, thank you!


	41. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben comes clean. He has no other choice.

**Ben - Forty-One**

 

I’m so glad that Rey has remained silent about what happened with Hux.  I didn’t want to have to go over all of it in public.  I didn’t even want to discuss it in front of her friend on the drive back to the condo.

It has to be Hux.  I knew the second he said _Snoke says hello_.  The person bidding on daisyauction.com was nearly as good as me at covering their tracks.  Now that I know who it is, I might be able to figure out where they are.  I might be able to narrow my search, and…

Rey touches my shoulder to get my attention.  “We’re here.”

I’ve been thinking about all of the things I’ve done, all the hacks I’ve perpetrated.  I’ve been so bogged down in my own head I didn’t even try to hold Rey’s hand.  “Thanks,” I say.  But I sit here, waiting for a clue of what I should do next.

“Do you want to ride home with me?” Finn asks, and for a moment I wonder what he means.  I’m at my condo.

Then I realize he’s talking to Rey.  Suddenly I’m nervous.  Will she want to go back to her apartment, after how I acted earlier?

“No thanks.  I’m staying here tonight,” she replies, and my heart slows down a little. 

I know I still have to talk about what happened.  I need to tell Rey and Leia what I’ve done, and probably talk about getting that defense attorney.

“Are you ready?” she asks me, as her hand moves down my arm to squeeze my hand.  She’s being extremely understanding, for what she saw earlier.  I nod, and open my door.  “Thank you Finn.  We appreciate you taking a night off work for us.”  She says it so smoothly, and graciously.  I shouldn’t be surprised.  She’s going to be the perfect partner for me.  She’s outgoing and confident, comfortable with small talk.  My mom is right, she’s everything I’m not.

“Your boyfriend made it worth my while,” he says with a wide smile.

“We appreciate it.  I’ll see you soon.”  I love how she uses _we_ and _us_ so easily.  I also like it that Finn referred to me as her boyfriend. 

I help her out of the back of the car, and she gives me a faint smile.  She continues to hold my hand after she’s standing beside me. 

“You look amazing,” I tell her again.  “You’re a dream come true.”

The corners of her lips move up, but the smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes.  I guess she’s a little more upset than she led on.  I should prepare myself for the onslaught of angry words that might come next.

They don’t come, though.  My mom is waiting on the couch for us to come home, and as soon as I open the door she has her phone in her hand, aimed at us.  “I can’t believe I didn’t get pictures earlier!  You two look so good together,” she exclaims.  Once she’s satisfied that she got the perfect picture, she asks, “How was the ballet?”

“It was beautiful,” Rey answers, but her voice is a little stilted, not at all her normally bubbly tone. 

I clear my throat, and stare at the refrigerator, so I don’t have to look at either of them.  “Mom, will you have a seat?  I need to tell you both some things that you might not want to hear.”  I release Rey’s hand, and say, “You too, please.”

Rey joins my mom, who demands, “What’s wrong?  What happened?”

Rey silently takes her hand, and cajoles her to take a seat.  And then she gives me her full attention.  I look away again, place my hands in my pants pockets, and begin to pace.  I think about what I want to say for at least a full minute, long enough for my mom to prompt, “Ben?”

“About six months after I formed Passenger, when I realized I’d never have to work again, I began to…”  I clear my throat again.  This is so much harder than I thought it would be.  Then again, I never thought I’d get caught.  “I began to hack certain websites.  Certain… dark web websites.”

I hear Rey take a deep breath.  I hope she knows I won’t tell my mom how we met.  I will never tell anyone that she tried to auction her virginity.  But I can’t guarantee that no one will find out.  Hux knows, and so does Snoke.  And if they want to hurt me, they will tell the world.  But I will never tell anyone.

My mom, the true empath, notices.  “Rey?” she asks, and places her hand on the younger woman’s shoulder.

“I think I know what’s going on now,” Rey says.  I see a tear escape, to make its way down her perfect cheek.  I want to comfort her, but my mom has already decided that it’s her job.  Leia wipes the tear away.  “Senator, I should tell you the truth.  I thought I could keep it a secret, but apparently I can’t.  I set up a website to auction my virginity, to pay for MIT.”

“Oh, Rey,” my mom murmurs, and grabs Rey in her warm embrace.

“That’s how I found Rey.  The hacktivist organization I joined about a year ago, the First Order, gave me lists of websites to hack and take down.  Rey’s website was on the list.”  Since she decided to tell my mom the truth, too, I guess we should put it all out in the open.  Together.

“College is just so expensive, and I couldn’t find anyone to take me seriously as a mechanical engineer,” Rey stutters. 

“I’ll go in my office and take down the website,” I offer, as I watch my mom rubbing her hand over Rey’s hair, Rey’s cheek resting on my mom’s shoulder.

“I asked Rose to take it down yesterday, before we went out to the club.  Even if you hadn’t shown up, I knew I’d come after you and apologize.”  She smiles at me as she says it.  “I missed you so much this week, I knew I couldn’t stay away for long.”

“They may have it cached in their memory.  I’ll have to find them and remove it.”

“Ben, do you want to explain that, in English?” Leia asks.  Rey sits up, and two pairs of eyes are glaring at me, demanding an explanation.

“You’re a senator.  You probably know more about illegal activity on the internet than I do.”  I still feel afraid, but I realize I need to trust both of them.  “I’ve stolen money from pimps, human traffickers.  You name it.  I’ve taken down websites with denial of service attacks.  I’ve sent the money I’ve taken to domestic violence charities, and women’s shelters.  I’ve thought of myself as Robin Hood.”

“But son, Robin Hood is a myth.  And you could really be in a lot of trouble if you get caught.” 

I nod.  I’ve always known there was a risk, but I thought of myself as invincible.  Until now.

“So you think that Mr. Smith is one of the hackers?” Rey asks.

“I think it’s Hux.  Snoke is the unofficial leader of the group.  And for some reason I feel like Phasma is a woman.”

“Snoke says hello,” Rey murmurs.  “I thought he said smoke, but he said Snoke.”

I nod again. 

“One of them approached you in person, at the ballet?”  Mom is shocked, nearly as shocked as I was when I saw the man again tonight. 

“Yes,” I reply. 

“Ben picked him right up off the ground, and told him not to mess with his girlfriend,” Rey says, proudly.  “It was so hot.”

Mom pats Rey’s cheek, and grins wickedly.  “Yes, I know what it’s like to have a strong man fight off other men for your affection.”  I guess she’s thinking of my dad, but I don’t want to think of him that way.  The only way I think of my dad is gone.  “So you need a lawyer.”

“I think so.”  I frown as I say it.  I’m not prepared for what might come next, but at least they know.  The two most important people in my life know that I’m a criminal.  “I’m sorry.”  I say it to both of them, but I’m looking at Rey.  “I’m sorry that I drug you into this.”  I can’t believe how well they are both taking my declaration.  Don’t they understand I could go to prison?

She gives me half a smile, and stands up.  I approach her quickly, but stop when I’m about a foot from her.  She’s in control, as she has been from the beginning.  She can decide if she still wants me or not.

“This is just as much my fault as it is yours.”  It’s not true, but the sentiment is nice.  “Thinking it would be a good idea to sell my virginity.”

Leia chuckles at that.  “Most of us give it away to the wrong man.  It’s genius that you thought to make a man pay for it.”

“Mom, you’re not helping,” I chide.  I can’t believe her sometimes.

She shrugs, like she doesn’t understand what I mean.  “I’m just saying, your girlfriend’s a genius.”  Then she fakes a yawn, as if she’s tired at nine o’clock.  “Tomorrow is Monday.  We’ll worry about it then.”

“Mom, I want to talk to you about something,” I say, as she tries to slip away.  I’m sure she just wants to give us some alone time.

“I’m going to go get out of these heels,” Rey mutters, before she kisses my cheek.  Then she strolls toward my bedroom.  My penis awakens at that thought.  _Go down!_  

“I’d like to have grandma’s ring,” I say. 

Mom’s eyes go wide.  “Breha’s?” she asks, a little stunned.  “Don’t you think that’s a little flashy for…”

“Padme’s,” I say lightly.

Then she grins, and nods.  “I think Padme’s ring would be much better suited to Rey than Breha’s.  You’re right.”  Then she takes me in her comforting embrace.  “It’s in the safety deposit box in Boston.  I’ll get it for you tomorrow.”

I bend down so she can kiss my forehead.  “Thank you, Mother.”

“I like Rey.  Don’t screw it up,” she warns me, as she pats my cheek.

“I’ll try not to.”  She releases me, and I head toward my bedroom.  To Rey.  To the reckoning I fear I will have to face.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Over 25,000 hits (almost 25.5 k)!  
> Almost 1,000 kudos! (only 30 more to go!)  
> I'm stunned. Thanks everyone for the love and good vibes you're sending my way!


	42. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been ill. But I've been thinking about this next chapter, and planning it. And then when I started typing, it morphed into something else.
> 
> Here is the gorgeous lingerie that BunnyJonez picked out for the scene! https://www.laperla.com/us/cfiplm0015190-naw283.html

**Rey - Forty-Two**

 

I search around for the bag that Leia and I practically hid from Ben.  He knew we went inside, because we stopped at the store right after we ate.  Ben just rolled his eyes, but I could see in the way he reached for the door that he wanted to go inside with us, and pick out every piece of lingerie I bought.  He even handed his card to his mother, so he could buy.  It made my cheeks pink to think that he’s buying my panties, but when we stepped inside La Perla, I realized that we would need Ben’s credit limit inside the store.

I was glad that I’d told Finn I would stay with Ben tonight.  I had planned to anyway, especially after Mr. Smith approached me again at the ballet.  But now, I know I need to lighten Ben up a little.  And I know just the thing to do it.

Leia said these slips were necessary for the dresses we bought at DVF, and I just agreed.  Secretly, I was thinking of Ben seeing me in each and every one of them, and slowly taking them off me.

So what if he’s a hacker, stealing money from terrible people and giving it to good people?  I think it’s a noble endeavor he undertook.  Even if I have a sneaking suspicion that Ben was the reason I didn’t get any bids the first few days of the auction.  And I don’t even care.  He was so right.  If he’d just closed down the auction, Mr. Smith wouldn’t be coming after me. 

Or would he?

I feel the silk slide over my skin, just as I hear the knock on the door.  Of course Ben would knock on his own bedroom door, knowing I’m in here.  He wouldn’t want to catch me in a compromising position. 

I pull the matching panties with the light blue lace up my legs hurriedly, and call out, “You can come in.”

I’m trying to look natural, standing here in the lingerie that cost- I don’t want to think about the price.  Shopping with Leia and Ben is definitely an experience that I never expected to have.

I hear the door open, and at the exact moment that Ben’s eyes find me in the room, and become as large as saucers, _Stay_ by Rihanna begins to play over the hidden stereo.  He’s frozen for a moment, unsure of what he should do.  He’s probably wondering if he caught me in the middle of changing clothes.  He hasn’t even entered the room yet. 

 _“All along it was a fever…”_ Rihanna sings.

“Come in, Ben,” I order, as I turn toward him.  I have a feeling the white silk chiffon slip shows way more than it covers, and I’m good with that.

“I… um… Rey?” he asks, while still hovering in the doorway.

 _“He said if you dare, come a little closer…”_ the lyrics continue.

I smile, knowing that he is stunned by the outfit, and what it means.  So stunned, he’s forgotten about the hacking, or the impending jail time that may or may not be a product of his overactive imagination.  I wanted to give him something to take his mind off of all the shit he’s obsessing over, and I think I have.  But I think I might have turned his brain completely off.  Is this an unexpected reboot of his neural system?

“Come inside the room, and close the door,” I say patiently.

He just stands there for several more moments, until he finally does as I say.  “Um… Rey?” he asks again, still unsure of what’s happening.  He’s holding on to the doorknob as if it’s a buoy, and he’s suddenly stepped into the middle of the ocean. 

I take him in, this beautiful, marvelous, magnificent creature that planted himself in my life for whatever reason.  He bid on my virginity, for fuck’s sake!  What would he have done if he’d won? 

It’s his puppy dog eyes that always hit me the hardest.  He’s so nervous he can barely look at me.  But every few seconds I get a glimpse of his dark, emotional eyes and it makes my heart ache.  He’s so innocent, so pure, under his pouty emo exterior.  He’s even wears all black most of the time!  It doesn’t matter that he looks damn good in it. 

“You can look at me, you know.  The world won’t end.”  I try to keep my voice light, but it comes out as dark as syrup, as dark as his eyes.

“I want to do more than look,” he murmurs, his deep voice more airy than normal.

“I won’t say no,” I reply.  “I didn’t put this on to tease you.”

“Then why?” he asks, as he dares to steal another glance.  I watch as he takes a breath, then exhales and looks away.

 _“It’s not much of a life you’re living.  It’s not something you take, it’s given.”_ Mikky Ekko’s part of the song might be the most touching.  And fitting for the moment. 

“To make you want to touch me.”  I decide to take the lead, and move toward him. 

_“Something in the way you move makes me feel like I can’t live without you.”_

“Do you know what you’re doing?” he demands.  His voice is darker than I’ve ever heard it.  His full lips are a thin line, and he’s staring down at the ground as if he could melt the pretty wood floors.

I remember when he kissed me in this room, propped up against the wall, and how it led to so much more.  How it led to his first orgasm, and mine, and the truth coming out about the auction.  Now there are no more truths hidden between us.  He told me he loves me.  And I’m ready to let him know how I feel too. 

“Where is that strong, possessive man who told me he loves me at the ballet?” I whisper.  I’m close enough that my bare toes touch his shiny, expensive black shoes.  I look up at him, and finally he stares back at me with the mixture of everything he’s feeling.  Fear, longing, love, desire, nervous.  It’s all there in his gorgeous eyes.

“You didn’t say it back,” he admonishes me.  He glances away, but only for a second.  Then his eyes are on my body, covered in white silk with blue lace around the bottom, and ruffles at my breasts that do nothing at all to cover my already hard, aching nipples. 

“I love you, Ben Solo.”  That causes him to again meet my gaze and hold it.  “You’re mine, and I’m never letting you go.”  He releases the doorknob, and my hands go up over his jacket to wrap around his neck.  He grabs me around my waist and lifts me off the ground, to bring me closer to his body.  And right before his lips touch mine, I murmur, “Carry me to the bed, and give me what you already know I want.”

His eyes go wider still, and his lips take mine in a searing, passionate kiss.  My lips immediately part for him, welcoming his tongue inside me.  I hope it’s not the only place it will be inside me.

Right before we reach the bed, he sets me gently on the ground before he breaks the kiss.  “Ben, please…” I begin, afraid he’s going to stop.  Then I feel his hands on the bottom of the slip, and reflexively I lift my arms as I open my eyes. 

 _“Funny you’re the broken one, but I’m the only one who needed saving.”_ Both of their voices meld together to make the emotions of the song even more poignant.

The slip is off, and he’s staring at my small breasts as if it’s the first time he’s seen them.  “Please what, Rey?” he teases.  I’m reminded again how it only takes his voice to make my private parts tingle, especially when he says my name like it’s the most wondrous word ever.

“Please, everything!”  I don’t think I can ask for what I want, because I want it all.  I want all of him, right now. 

He squats down in front of me, and gazes up at me like I’m precious, before he slides the panties down.  I step out of them as he stands up.  He’s so big, huge really.  And he’s still dressed in the black suit, and I’m naked in front of him.  I shiver.  He’s so gorgeous, and amazing, and everything I’ve ever wanted in my life.  He’ll give me a home, and a family, and he’ll keep me safe and protect me with his life.  And I know, deep in my heart, he’ll never let me go.

_“Makes me feel like I can’t live without you.  It takes me all the way.  I want you to stay.”_

“I want you to stay with me, Ben.  Don’t ever leave me.”  I feel tears stinging my eyes as I say it. 

He lifts me up and places me on the edge of his bed.  “Shhhhh,” he sighs.  “I’m not going anywhere.  I swear I’ll always be here, as long as you want me.”

He sits beside me, and soon I’m sitting in his lap cocooned in him.  His scent is fresh and clean, his body is warm, and the fabric of his suit is soft.  His big hands rub over me, over my hair and down my back, and over my arms and down my thighs.  He’s comforting me, holding me, loving me. 

“Please kiss me, Ben.  Kiss me like you’ll never stop,” I beg, before I tip my lips up for his.

“I love you, Rey,” he says, before he gives me the most gentle kiss imaginable.

But that’s not what I want.  I wiggle around in his lap to straddle him, press my hands into his soft locks, and kiss him with all the desire I have for him.

It’s not long until my hips are moving up and down, trying to find his erection under all the clothes he’s wearing, and the fabric of his jacket is grazing against my nipples.  And I want to come, just like this, with his hands spanning over my back and his tongue in my mouth.  I suck it in, rougher, and nip at it with my teeth.  He grabs my hips and pulls me down onto him, while he thrusts against me.  Suddenly I feel the length of him, so hard and thick, and my body quivers as I feel it against my most sensitive area. 

I grunt into his mouth, and Ben pushes against me, and the friction is incredible. 

He shocks me when he abruptly breaks our kiss.  But he only does it so he can stare into my eyes and encourage, “Come for me, Rey.  Just for me.  Only ever for me.”

My muscles tighten up, and my head falls back as I moan.  His lips find my neck, and he nips and sucks at the pulse point.  My entire body convulses as my muscles contract.  I find my release with him, for him.  I giggle a little, and exhale as I again find his beautiful eyes, which are even darker and more shiny than normal.  He’s staring into my soul, and I want him to have it, and my body, and my heart, and everything that I am.

I gasp when he mutters, “Now it’s my turn.”  His voice drips with lust, and he sounds more determined than I’ve ever heard him. 

I shiver again, feeling another wave of the orgasm hit me.  I stare into his eyes and smile as I assure him, “I can’t wait.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had no idea this was going to happen, and now I'm wondering if I should add a new hashtag. Something like #BenWearingSuitReyWearingBirthdaySuit  
> Also, I got all excited from my sick bed when I noticed that Auction was on a rec list! I'm still smiling about that!
> 
> Auction is now over 1000 likes, and 26,000 views. O.M.G! Also, I apologize for not responding to the comments. I'll get to that today I promise! Thank you for all the love!


	43. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... I swear I did not plan this. I swear on the Force. But... this chapter hit 69k words... and coincidentally...

The mood board from Bunny!

**Ben - Forty-Three**

I stand up with her legs still wrapped around my waist, and although I could just keep her this way forever, there is something else I want to do. 

“Ben, don’t let me go,” she murmurs against my neck, and my entire body shakes.  I still can’t believe she wants me, but I’m convinced she does.  The way she stared at me as she reached her orgasm, the way she held on to me as her body quivered, makes me realize she’s not faking it.  Her desire, her emotions, all of it is real.  And it’s for me.

“Shhhh…” I whisper against the top of her head, as I pull down the blankets before I lay her gently onto the bed.  Once she’s lying naked in my bed, I take a step away.  I want to take her in, from the top of her slightly tousled hair, to the tips of her painted toenails.  She is perfection.  There is no one as beautiful as her, as intelligent as her, as brilliant as her.  She sparkles with her inner strength, her hope, her goodness.  I can’t believe she allows me to even gaze upon her.

Much less smile and reach her hand out to me, while muttering, “Come join me.”

I take another step away, and her eyes wrinkle up and her eyebrows furrow in confusion.  She had several moments, while I was asking my mother for her birth mother’s engagement ring, to change out of the evening gown she wore to the ballet and into the sexiest lingerie I’ve ever seen.  I don’t care how much I paid for it, it was well worth the money.  All three minutes it was on her beautiful body.

So I bend down into the floor and pick it up, and I can’t stop myself from lifting the tiny slip-like top to my nose.  It smells like her, like cherries.  Cherries have always been my favorite, and she barges into my life, looking like a goddess and smelling like my favorite flavor.  Now, I have a new favorite, and I want to taste it.

I place her lingerie on the couch, before I begin to remove my own clothes. 

“Ben!” she exclaims, as she stares right into my eyes while I remove my black jacket.  I should feel intimidated.  I should feel afraid she’ll reject me.  But I don’t.  I can see she’s excited by the look in her forest green eyes, how her pupils are dilated and her eyes are huge as I remove my tie.  Her lips are parted, and I see her tongue resting against her top lip.  As I’m unbuttoning my shirt, she says, “Faster Ben!”

I know she wants me from the way she gasps when my shirt falls to the floor.  I can tell.  And even though I hesitate as I unfasten and unzip my trousers, I’m not afraid she’ll turn me down. 

Is that _Have You Really Loved a Woman_ by Bryan Adams playing on the satellite music channel?  _“To really love a woman, you let her hold you, until you know how she needs to be touched.”_

“Do it, please Ben.  I want to see all of you,” she sighs. 

I drop my pants, but I leave my black briefs on.  I bend over as I step out of them, then my socks, for a second or two.  I’m trying not to be embarrassed.  I’m trying not to be blood red when I look up at her.  I toss my clothes aside, straighten my shoulders, and tip my chin up.  I avoid her eyes, but I stand here and allow her to look at me, almost naked.

“The rest Ben.  Do it!” she orders.  I love it when she gets that tone in her voice.  She’s so darn self-assured.  She’s so perfect. 

I jerk them down quickly before I can think twice, and look up at her immediately.  I need her approval.  I need her to tell me this is okay.  I’m so exposed, standing here with this huge thing between my legs thrusting out in front of me, the thing that I’ve been ashamed of all my life.  The last time she saw it, she was tipsy and a little reckless.  Now we’re both sober, and we’re both completely naked. 

“Is it okay?” I finally ask.  Because she’s not looking into my eyes, she’s staring at it.

“You’re amazing, Ben.  Really, your legs are even better than I expected.  And that sexy V at your hips...”  I cut her off there, by walking toward her and sliding into _my_ bed beside her, beside the woman that I love.  I mean, letting her look is one thing, but talking about it.  I can’t handle that yet. 

And as soon as I’m in the bed with her, her hands are on my chest and her lips are on my cheek and my neck.  She wants me, eagerly.  Enthusiastically.  Unabashedly.

I want her too, so much that it makes my chest hurt.  And my balls, they are literally killing me right now.  There’s something that I saw in the sex books, and I want to do it with her.  I want to be confident, and unashamed like her.  I want to blurt it out, and hope that she says yes.  So I close my eyes, and do it.

“Sixty nine,” I say aloud.

“What?” she whispers in my ear, before she nibbles at my earlobe.

Suddenly my hands are in her hair, and she’s trying to scoot her body over mine again.  I’m not quite ready for sex yet.  I want to have the ring on her finger, and have her say yes, before we do that.  But she didn’t stop at red light when I was about to come in her mouth, and she’s came in mine more than once.  So, why not?

“Sixty nine.  It’s when two people pleasure each other orally.”  I know she’s a virgin, but I would have thought she’d heard of it…

“I know what it is Ben.”  She sits up on her knees, and gazes down into my eyes, her hair falling against my chest and my shoulder.  She gives me a wicked little grin.  She is magic.  She is light.  She is everything I’ve ever wanted.

_Your Body is a Wonderland_ by John Mayer begins to play.  “ _One mouth to every inch of your skin like porcelain_.”  I can’t believe how perfect the songs coming through my speakers are.

“I would love to try that with you, Ben.  Can I explore your beautiful body with my lips on the way down?”  I feel my cock twitch, and grow somehow. 

“Okay,” I say, and I nod. 

“Are you sure you won’t try to stop me?” she teases, as she gives me a gentle kiss on my chin.

“ _I know you’re mine, all mine, all mine, but you look so good it hurts sometimes_.”  I can’t think of any more relatable lyrics ever.

“I might, but please don’t.”  She giggles, and kisses my Adam’s Apple.  “But only if I can touch you too.”  I say it as my right hand sweeps her hair over her shoulder, so I can look at her tiny breast that is so close, if I turn my head I could…

“Ummm Ben,” she practically moans, when my lips encounter her nipple.  My hand stays on her bare shoulder, as soft as silk.  She shivers, and moves down my chest.  But I open my mouth and capture her pink bud, sucking it in so she can’t go anywhere.  “Ben!” she exhales, and throws her head back.  I feel it getting harder, tauter in my mouth.  So I let my left hand find her other breast, and I touch it with my fingertips as my right hand moves down her back.  “Yes!”

Suddenly her lips find my nipple, and the intense sensation shocks me so much that my back bolts off the bed.  She chuckles, and flicks her tongue against it. 

“ _I’ll use my hands_ ,” the song encourages.  And her hands slide down my sides to my hips.  Every nerve ending in my body tingles at her touch.  Then it’s in her hands.  She’s holding my penis in her hands, rubbing it, and holding it, and squeezing it.  It feels sooo good, so right, and maybe not quite enough. 

I pull away from her nipple, and I hear a loud pop.  She moans again.  “I want to taste you, Rey.  And I want your mouth on me too.”

She moves, easily, down my body until her hip rubs against my shoulder.  I smell her so close my mouth starts to water.  My hands are free, so I grab her waist and pull her body over, until her chest is on my stomach, and she spreads her legs on either side of my shoulders, and I lean forward and take what I want.

She cries out, “Oh!” loudly, shocked that I have her right where I want her.  My hands rub over her pert little ass, her lower back, and up.  “Ohhhhh, yes,” she groans.  Her hands are still on me, and then her lips are right against the head, rubbing back and forth before she sucks it in.  She sucks, and moves up and down on it with a rhythm that matches her hands.

I know I’m not supposed to come quickly.  But I’m ready.  I pull away to warn her.  “I’m…” I start, but her hips thrust back and she covers my mouth with her delicious pussy, and her hips move with the rhythm of her mouth.

It doesn’t matter if I come, because she’s going to.  We’re going to together.  Just like we will for the rest of our lives.

I feel her muscles contract against my tongue as I feel my own orgasm hit me.

Yes.  Yes.  **Yes!**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to admit, I haven't been keeping a close eye on the stats recently. I'm actually working on a series of books and I'm just as into it as I am this one. I try to do one day it, and another day this, but it gets hard sometimes, and life happens in the middle.  
> I promise I'm not stringing you guys along! I do have a clear resolution for this story. It includes Ben putting Padme's ring on Rey's finger. 
> 
> Thanks everyone for reading along with my story. I hope everyone loves my Ben and Rey as much as I do.


	44. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's another... um _fluff_ chapter. I'm writing Ben's response to it and will have it up tomorrow. :) I think the entire story should wrap up next week, or by the beginning of May at least. Perhaps I'll save the last chapter for May 4th!

**Rey - Forty-Four**

 

The first thing I hear, before I even open my eyes, is the amazing voice of my even more amazing boyfriend saying, “I love you.”  Then I feel a gentle kiss on the tip of my nose.  “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

I smile, even though I’m barely awake.  His light touch brushes over my cheek, my neck, to my bare shoulder.  We fell asleep last night curled in each others’ arms, after that incredible sexual thing we did last night.  I understand _why_ they call it 69, but that’s such a crude term for what happened.  It was like heaven, wrapped in magic, and sprinkled with love.  My muscles are clenching just thinking about it.

“Ben,” I whisper, and snuggle into his warm hard body, wrapping my arms around his waist.  “Last night was soooo good.” 

“You didn’t mind?” he asks, as his hand wanders over my arm toward my breast.

I mumble some sound that I hope relays how much I didn’t mind, as I let my hands move up and down his sides.  He exhales loudly and tries to pull away, but I throw my leg over his thigh and hold on.  Then I move my hand up and down again slowly. 

“Red light, Rey,” he groans. 

I finally open my eyes to look into his beautiful face, and he’s grimacing.  So I do it again, of course.  Is he hurt?  Did I crack a rib while I was riding him last night?  Did I knee him in my sleep?  Eventually I ask, “Are you hurt?”

He tries to speak.  “I…”  Then he stops, and snorts.  I gasp as my eyes go wide.

**Ben Solo is ticklish!**

I begin to move my fingers against his ribs, and he starts to struggle and pull away.  He’s giggling.  Ben Solo is giggling!  His face lights up like the brightest star, and his eyes sparkle.  “Rey, no!” he exclaims, but I don’t stop.  I want more than anything to hear Ben laugh like a happy child.  His laughing makes me laugh, and soon we’re both chuckling loudly.

I roll him over until he’s on his back, straddling his hips.  I’m still laughing, staring down into his glittering brown eyes.

They close suddenly, and he looks like he’s in pain.  “Rey,” he groans, as his hands go out to my waist to hold my hips still.  Then he thrusts his hips upward, and the reality that we are in bed together naked, and I’m on top of him hits home.  His penis is right against my vagina, and I feel his entire length slide against it. And it’s…

I know why he groaned earlier.  My eyes close and I moan as his erection rubs against that spot that he flicks his tongue against to make me shiver.  “Oh, damn,” I growl at the sensation.

One moment I’m playing with him, making him laugh, and the next my entire body is melting from the heat that’s emanating from our centers.

“That feels…” he moans, before he thrusts again.  His hands grip my waist tighter, almost encircling it.

“Yes, Ben,” I whisper as I wiggle against him.  My hands flatten out against his chest, and I push down into him like I did last night.

An anguished “Fuck!” escapes his full lips, which are twisted up, exposing his gritted teeth. 

I answer with an airy, “Oooooh yes!”  I tear my eyes away from his face, to glance at his tight neck muscles, down over his chest and ribcage, to find his erection thick and as red as his lips.

My right hand slides down his stomach to grab it.  I hear a loud hiss as he inhales through his teeth.  “Fuck yes Rey!” he exclaims, as he moves his length into my hand.  It’s so slick. 

_Is that from me?_  

He bucks up off the bed, and it’s the sexiest, most intense thing I’ve ever seen.  Maybe even more intense than last night, because I’m in control and I’m watching him. 

The knuckle of my thumb brushes against my clit and I shiver and push into the new sensation.  “Rey, please, Rey,” he mutters while his head moves back and forth on the pillow, spreading his sleep ruffled dark waves over white silk.

I have found perfection, and its name is Ben Solo.

“Yes, Ben,” I sigh, when his hands move up from my hips to find my breasts.  I sit slightly forward to make it easier for him, even though his arms seem four feet long. 

“Rey,” he whispers, over and over.  His eyes open wide with shock as he gets thicker, harder, wetter.  Our eyes meet, and there’s no more fear, no more insecurities.  We both know we’re never gonna be alone again.  It’s me and him forever.  I’m his and he’s my beginning and ending.  “I love you,” he says, as the white stuff squirts out of him onto his chest.

“I love you,” I cry out, as my muscles contract.

I’m breathing heavy, his hands are holding me up, and we’re staring at each other like there’s nothing else in the world. 

He smiles at me, a beaming happy grin that changes his face and makes his eyes shine.  Maybe it’s because I feel myself smiling at him, because I’ve never felt this complete, this pure bliss, in all my life. 

His arms move up as I fall toward him, and wrap around my shoulders as he kisses the top of my head.  “Are you ready for your meeting later?” he asks, casually.

“I can do anything,” I reply, as I lay against his chest as listen to his heartbeat.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for reading! Auction has over 28k hits, and almost 1100 kudos! YAY!


	45. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some days were made for writing. It's rainy here, and I haven't felt like doing much of anything other than sitting at my desk. So here... have an update to Auction! :)

**Ben - Forty-Five**

 

I’m sitting on the bed watching her dress after our shared shower.  Now that she knows I’m ticklish, I’m afraid she’s going to use it against me constantly, because as she was washing my back her tiny little fingertips dug into the perfect spot at my ribcage.  I tried to hold it in, but I laughed reflexively.  She sighed loudly and said, “I love hearing that.”  Maybe I can handle a little discomfort, if she enjoys it that much.

She glances at me as she’s putting on her brand new La Perla bra and panties.  They are a soft beige that almost blends into her skin, with delicate lace covering her breasts and...  “Isn’t it pretty?” she asks breathlessly, as she stares at herself in the mirror.

I feel goose bumps cover my arms at her innocent question.  I know we both shared something spiritual earlier, as we stared deep into each others’ eyes, and maybe some of that emotion is echoing inside my heart.  Doesn’t she know how much I want her by now?

“You’re gorgeous,” I assure her.  She grins and turns toward me, her tight body on display for me.  Only me.  That thought almost makes my head explode, that I am the only one who will ever see all of this beauty.

“Ben, I meant the lingerie.”  She sighs, as she brushes out her shoulder length hair.  There’s some wave in it, even after she just showered.  I wonder if it’s natural.  My eyes drink her in, from her muscular arms and thighs, to her pert little derriere and breasts.

“I knew exactly what you meant,” I murmur.  She looks over at me with her gorgeous smile, so bright and sunny.  Her happiness is more than enough to melt away my insecurities, her hope warms my soul.  And her love makes anything possible.

She stares at the navy pants and light blue silky shirt she and my mother picked out at Armani, before taking the pants and stepping into them.  I’m fascinated by each and every one of her movements.  Being allowed to watch her dress is almost as intimate as helping her undress. 

So this is love.  This calm, quiet togetherness of the most mundane moments in life. 

The War On Drugs song echoes in the silence between us.  _“Pull me close and let me hold you in, give me the deeper understanding of who I am.”_

I don’t remember my parents ever being this calm.  I remember loud arguments, bitter quips, and constant snide remarks.  I remember sitting in the back seat of the car, staring out the window, just wishing they would shut up for ten minutes so that I could listen to the song on the radio.

“Do I look ready for a high powered meeting with some big wig attorney?” Rey asks me, pulling me out of my melancholia.  

I smile at her automatically, and glance up at her eyes.  “You look amazing,” I say automatically. 

She shakes her head as she strides toward me.  “You didn’t even look.  What were you thinking about?”

“Just you,” I reply.  She scoffs gently, before she wraps her arms around my neck.  It’s strange looking up at her, from my position on the edge of the bed.  “Just thinking of how happy you make me.  How lucky I am that I found you.”

“Yes, you definitely got lucky finding me,” she murmurs, as she bends down to kiss my cheek.  “But I’m the lucky one.  If you hadn’t intervened, I don’t know what…”

“Shhhhh.  That’s in the past, sweetheart.  We found each other, that’s all that matters,” I assure her, as I tip my head to the side to let her lips explore over my neck.  I shiver from it, but it isn’t necessarily sexual.  It’s very sweet, and it emphasizes the closeness I’m feeling to her right now.

“We saved each other,” she whispers against my ear.  Then she gives it a quick kiss and says, “I love you, Ben.  Thank you for saving me.”

“Thank you for loving me,” I reply, as she pulls away before I can grab her and bring her down onto the bed with me.  I take in the navy pleated pants, cuffed at the ankles.  The nude pumps she’s wearing add at least two inches to her height.  The blue silk shell adds a happy glow to her hazel eyes.  Everything about her is beautiful, from the inside out.  “You look amazing.”

“Thank you.  You spent enough money to get me this way,” she states flippantly, as she grabs the blazer.

I stand quickly and grasp her wrist.  It’s nice sometimes, being tall and having a huge wingspan.  “It’s not the clothes, Rey.  It’s you.”  I kiss the top of her head, and pull her back against my chest.  Holding her so closely, feeling her against me, isn’t something I would have thought would feel this good.  But she makes me feel big, and strong, and protective while I’m holding her.  I feel like a man, like a whole, complete, male person. 

“Let’s get some coffee,” she says, as she takes my hand and leads me toward the door. 

“Let me grab my shirt.  I’m sure my mom is still here,” I grumble, as I pull on the black silk top that match the bottoms I put on when we got out of the shower.

“You’re so prim and proper, even in pajamas,” she says, with a dimpled grin on her beautiful face.

I smile back.  She doesn’t know how prim I once was, only weeks ago.  She doesn’t know that I thought I would die a virgin, and she doesn’t have to know either.

We open the door to the bedroom, and I’m glad I put on the shirt when I hear a familiar voice, coincidentally enough, arguing with my mother.  I stop in my tracks, and it takes Rey a moment to realize I’m not walking with her.  She turns to give me a questioning look, her eyebrows meeting over the middle of her adorable, scrunched up nose.

“Rey, I have coffee!  Ben, your father’s here,” my mom calls out from the kitchen.

Fuck, I should have known when I asked for Padme’s ring that she would call him.  For fuck’s sake, I’ve been without a father for this long, I don’t need one now.

“Ben,” Rey whispers, and tugs at my hand. 

I shove my head back, and let my shoulders go slack, as if I’m still twelve and pissed off at the entire universe.  Then I roll my eyes, and follow along after her.

“Wow, this is Rey huh?  Damn, I can see why my old maid of a son fell so hard for you,” my father bellows.  He’s never known how to give a compliment without dragging someone else down. 

He grabs Rey by her shoulders, and she’s stunned when he pulls her into his arms for a big bear hug.  Good ole’ Han Solo, everybody’s buddy.  Everyone except his son, who was just never quite manly enough, no matter how much money I made, or how tall I got, or how much muscle I put on.  I was still his punk emo kid, wearing black and listening to MCR full blast on my iPod.

“Well if it isn’t Han Solo.  I guess the invention of GPS helped you find your way back to your family,” I snide.

“Now son, don’t be that way,” my mother soothes. 

I grab a cup and fix a coffee for Rey, with creamer and sugar like she likes it.  I hand it to her, and my father finally releases her.  She takes it, then gives me a kiss on the cheek as a reward.  Next I pour a cup for myself, black like my clothes and my soul - or at least how they used to be before I met Rey.

“Leia says you have a big meeting today, to show off your engine to some fancy pants investors.”  Han puffs out his chest, and grins like a used car salesman.  “She says you’re into cars.  You know, when I was your age I used to race…”

I block out the rest.  I’ve heard it a million times. 

Rey takes a step closer to me, and runs her fingers through my hair.  I tip my head to the side quickly, and kiss her palm gently.  Our eyes meet, and she gives me the sweetest smile I’ve ever seen.  Rey isn’t charmed by my father.  That’s a first, women tend to adore him, for some reason I can’t fathom.  He’s boorish, and narcissistic, and he abandoned his son when he needed a father most.

 _I love you_ , Rey mouths, before she takes a sip of her coffee.  I fight a grin as I wink at her, and take a sip too.  My chest swells with pride, and love, and adoration.  And she thinks _she’s_ the lucky one. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for continuing to read my story. As I said previously, I plan to have this story wrapped up by May 4th! But fear not, there will probably be more one shots in the "Auction" universe. Hope everyone has a better day than I'm having!


	46. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This isn't the end. It's only the beginning of my Ben and Rey's story!

**Thank BunnyJonez for the lovely mood board!**

**Rey - Forty-Six**

 

“Thank you, Chewie.  You really helped with the presentation,” I say, as I extend my hand to him. 

Instead of shaking my hand, he grabs me in a big bear hug instead, and rubs the top of my head.  “I think you did that all by yourself.”  He releases me and holds me at arm’s length, which for him seems about five feet, and stares at me fondly.  “I think he was ready to invest before he saw the engine.  And I don’t blame him.  It’s really the best design I’ve seen in years.  You really are the student every teacher dreams of.”

“Thank you.”  I feel my eyes tearing up.  “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate all the support you’ve given me over the last four years.  That has really made a difference.” 

“It’s been my pleasure,” he assures me.  “Now get out of here.  Go celebrate.”

The lawyer has already left, and I’m on my way out the door too.  Apparently Ben was right.  The lawyer is ready to offer me a deal that includes nine figures.  I expected it, I’ve prepared for it.  But it’s still hard to believe. 

As I walk out the side door, where the convertible is parked, I find Ben Solo waiting on me, leaning against it like the guy from Sixteen Candles.  He’s wearing a black suit with a white shirt open at the neck.  His hair is styled, all pouffy and wavy.  He has this half smile on his face, standing there looking all cocky and sexy. 

I have to stop and stare at him for a moment.  My boyfriend is _hot_.

“Come on sweetheart, we have things to do.  We have to celebrate.”  He opens his arms and I practically run to him.  He catches me and lifts me, and in front of the MechE building and anyone who might be watching, I wrap my Armani suited legs around his waist and wrap my arms around his neck, and I kiss him.  I kiss him because I love him, because he makes me happy, and because he will never let me go.  Not like my parents did.  He will always, _always_ lift me up.

I don’t care that we’re in public.  I lick along his lush lips, and he parts them for me.  Our tongues meet and twine, twist and massage.  Hungrily I let my teeth rake against his tongue, and he moans deep in his throat.  His hands move just a little, from propping me up to caressing my ass.  For several moments we kiss with abandon, like the young conquerors that we really are, ignorant of everything around us.

Suddenly he pulls away, and he’s laughing, deep throated, honeyed, and so full of pleasure _I_ shiver from it.  “You’re going to change the world, babe.  You’re going to make a difference.  You’re going to have everything you want.”

“I already do,” I admit, as I pull myself closer to his chest.  I kiss his neck and his ear.  “I love you, Ben.  Thank you for making this possible.”

“I love you,” he replies, his deep voice sounding richer, sexier than ever.  “Come on.  We have stuff to do!”

 

*****

 

I wasn’t expecting him to remember the Loro Piana Cala Luna dress that I’d lusted after in the store, but had decided that it was too expensive to expect Ben to buy.  Also, where would I wear a dress priced over two grand?  But right now it’s laying out on his - _our_ \- bed when I arrive at the condo.  I pair it with the Chanel shoes I wore to the ballet, and the Chanel bag.  Holy crap, is this my life?  Luxury brands, convertible sports cars, expensive condos… And Ben. 

He knocks on the door, after giving me about half an hour to change and freshen up.  I don’t know what he’s got planned, but apparently he’s on a schedule.  It’s only four o’clock. 

He’s smiling when he looks down at me, and I can tell he’s hiding something.  I just don’t know what it is.  “Ben, if you would just…” I start, but he gently kisses me, and my question is forgotten.

He takes my hand, and leads me toward the kitchen.  His mother and father are there, and Leia is wearing the Le Cactus outfit she bought at Loro Piana.  Han is wearing a suit like his son, without a tie.  And I feel like this is all a little fancier than a celebration for my engine.

“My mom had to bribe a friend, but somehow she got a bottle of Dom Perignon P2, 2000.”  As he says it, Han pops the cork on a bottle, and Leia giggles as she holds a flute under the bottle.

“This shit is expensive!” Leia exclaims, and holds it there until the bubbling overflow stops.  Then, she hands the glass to me.  After that she pours three more glasses and hands them out before she says, “Congratulations, Rey.  This is your day!  You’ve created something that will change the world, and I can’t wait to do everything in my power to help you!  You are truly a pioneer, a visionary, and a woman with a mission.  I’m so lucky that my son met you.  Cheers to a very successful career!”

I’m shaking in my expensive shoes.  Leia Organa is toasting me, to my future accomplishments.  This is all a little too surreal.

“I’m not sure this was worth the cost,” Ben says, as he takes a sip.

“Oh, zip it, Ben.  Enjoy the champagne!” Leia chides.

“Congrats, Rey,” Han says, and holds his glass up.  I clink our glass together, then Leia’s. 

Finally, Ben and I toast, standing side by side.  He’s put on a tie, and he’s smiling down at me with a look of bliss.  His dark eyes are shining, and his lips are tipped up in that almost smile of his. 

“Ben?” I ask.  What’s going on behind those gorgeous chocolate brown eyes of his? 

At that moment, there’s a knock at the door. 

“Wait, let me fill your glass again,” Leia says.  Then, there’s more champagne poured into our glasses.  Ben leads me to the door. 

His assistant Mitaka is on the other side.  “Are you ready, sir?” he asks Ben.  So, we’re being driven wherever we’re going.  I guess I should expect more champagne.

In the back of Ben’s Jaguar, he has his hand on me, either on my hand, on my bare bicep, on my neck, or brushing my hair off my shoulder.  I’m not paying attention to where we’re going.  I’m just enjoying this handsy Ben, and the champagne.  I don’t know how much Leia paid for it, but it is delicious.

When Mitaka pulls up to the Public Garden, I’m a little surprised.  This isn’t the place I’d expect Ben to celebrate.  We walk through the gate, and I really wish I’d worn my new coat.  He walks briskly, as if he didn’t come here to stroll and look around.

When we finally arrive at the statues of a mother duck and her ducklings, he stops.  

“Rey, I know that we started out under strange circumstances.  I know we haven’t known each other long.  But I don’t know what my future holds, and I want you to know that I love you, and whatever happens, I want you to be part of it.”

“Ben, wait… What?”  All of me is shaking now.  I feel a wave of energy, and emotion, as if the unexpected is about to happen.

Suddenly he drops down onto one knee.  “Mrs. Mallard knew that Boston would be the place to have her family.  I want to have a family with you.  In Boston, or Manchester, or wherever you want.  Just as long as it’s me and you.”

He brings a royal blue ring box out of his pocket.  Everything begins to happen in slow motion.  He opens the box, and with one hand raises it up to me, for me to see.  “I’m not sure if it will fit, but we can have it sized.  It was my grandmother’s.  I just knew it would suit you.”

There’s a gorgeous ring fit snugly into tan velvet.  The ring is incredible, Art Deco, with a center diamond surrounded by emeralds, and they are surrounded by another halo of even smaller diamonds as if they are all woven together to form one beautiful ring. 

“Will you marry me, Rey?  Will you take me for better or worse?”  His voice is shaking as much as my insides are.  He looks almost afraid, as if he thinks I might say no.  As if there is any possibility I will say anything other than yes.

When I open my mouth to answer, it won’t come out.  I feel tears welling up in my eyes.  Nothing inside me is working right.  It’s like I’ve been shocked.  My hands cover my mouth, and instead of saying anything, I nod my head.  He stands up finally, and I wrap myself around him and hold on tight.  He kisses me again, so gently it’s like a butterfly brushing against my skin.  Then he pulls away, and removes the gorgeous ring from the box.  That’s when I see the emeralds and diamonds along the band.  He slips it onto my third finger on my left hand, and it fits perfectly.  

“I love you, Rey Jakku.  I will love you for the rest of my life.”

When I can finally get a word to come out of my constricted throat, I exclaim, “Ben!”  Again I wrap my arms around him.  This is what I want, all I want, for the rest of my life.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added the mood board as a sneak peek on my tumblr. If you want to keep up with what's going on in my AU, follow me on tumblr.  
> There will be updates in the Auction universe periodically.
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/tcotsao3


	47. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know that gif from The Office? 
> 
> OH, MY GOD! OKAY, IT'S HAPPENING!
> 
> Well.....................................................................

**Ben - Forty-Seven**

 

“Dinner was great,” Rey says, as we enter our bedroom.  _Our_ …  It’s odd how just a few days has changed my whole outlook on life.  She’s woke up here twice, and I already feel like she belongs here.  “Sorellina is now officially my favorite restaurant.  Even your veggie lasagna was delicious.”

I never thought I’d enjoy having someone eat off my plate as much as I do.  I’m going to turn her into a vegetarian eventually.

“And the bar was nice.”  I don’t even really lie. 

“Mitaka and Paige?” she says, and rolls her eyes. 

Watching Rey show off her ring, and all the girls going completely nuts over it, was fun.  And getting congratulated was nice too.  Having all the men, including Poe, tell me how lucky I am wasn’t as embarrassing as I’d thought it might be. 

The embarrassing part was having everyone, including my father _and_ mother, trying so hard to slip me condoms without Rey seeing.  I have about ten condoms in my pocket right now. 

“So, did everyone really think I didn’t see them giving you rubbers?” she says, as if she’s reading my mind.

This is the point where my brain should shut down, where I should turn into shy, virginal Ben and act like I don’t hear her.  But it doesn’t.  Maybe it was the champagne that flowed all night, I always had a glass full of it in my hand.  Or maybe the Glenfiddich 18 my father insisted he share with me.  Or maybe it’s my gorgeous fiancée who sparkles more than the ring she’s now wearing on her finger.  Either way, I pull the condoms out all both of my front pockets, and my jacket pockets, and toss them onto the bed.

She looks at me, and gives me her bubbly, happy, dimpled smile.  Then she bursts out laughing.  “I knew they were doing it.  Why did they think they could hide it?”

After I empty my pockets, I remove my jacket and my tie.  She stops laughing, but her dimples are still there.  I don’t know what’s come over me, but I keep going.  I begin unbuttoning my shirt.  Rey’s lips part, and her eyes get wide.  I love seeing them turn that sunlit forest green color that they get when she’s turned on.

It’s almost unfathomable that _I_ , Ben Solo, know what a woman looks like when she’s turned on.  And she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.

“Ben,” she gasps.  And it’s definitely not a Ben, stop.  Or at least I don’t think it is.

“Green light?” I ask, just to make sure.

“The greenest,” she replies.  She starts to undress too, removing the sexy shoes she wore with the beautiful black dress, the one I asked my mother to pick up for Rey, when she was on her way to the bank. 

“Are you drunk?”  I have to make sure she’s thinking straight.  I don’t want to take advantage of her, whatever we do.  Not that I’m planning to have sex, but things normally happen when we’re alone, and naked, and…

“I’ve been on birth control for three years.”  She says it, and then she looks shocked, like she immediately regrets it.  “I did it as a back-up plan, because I was afraid to _not_ do it.” 

I don’t know why the news disappoints me.  Not that we would want to have a baby immediately.  Or would we?  Maybe I won’t have the luxury of time to make up our minds.

“What do you mean?”  I think I know what she means.  Do I?

“If you don’t want to use the condom, it’s okay.” 

Everything inside me quakes.  And my heart is about to explode.  And I’m so hard it hurts.  “Do you mean…” 

She’s still smiling, as the dress drops to the floor and she steps out of it.  “I mean, tonight.”

 _I’m not afraid_ , I tell myself, as I drop my trousers.  And before she can ask, or suggest, I remove my black cotton briefs too. 

“God, Ben, you’re beautiful,” she almost gasps the words. 

“Yellow light, Rey,” I mutter, as I fold up the discarded clothing. 

“No.  I’m not listening to that bullshit anymore,” she argues as she struts toward me, only wearing a lacy black bra and matching panties set that are so sexy they should be illegal.  Then she places her hand on my stomach, right over my navel.  My cock immediately reacts, twitches and jerking for her attention.  I look down at her breasts, barely covered in lace, and I realize what the guys said earlier was right.  I don’t deserve her, and I’m lucky as hell to have her. 

She uses her free hand to somehow wiggle out of her panties as she says, “I will tell my future husband he is gorgeous, and sexy, and hot, as many times as I want for the rest of my life.  And if you don’t like it, tough.”  As she talks, her hand wanders downward.  Our eyes meet at the exact second her hand grabs my erection.  “You are mine now, Ben Solo.  _This_ is mine.”

“Yes.”  It’s all I can say.  It’s true.  She owns me, heart, body, and soul.

“Your hair is perfect, your eyes are enchanting, your lips are luscious, and…”  She stops when her eyes land on my lips.  “Just kiss me already.”

I do.  I wrap my arms around her slender waist, and I bend down, and I kiss her.  Maybe I should be a little gentler, I think, as she groans.  She moves backward, and I am afraid she’s trying to get away, until she tugs at my most sensitive appendage.  I move with her, and realize we’re at our bed.  She climbs on it somehow, and I spread her legs and step between them.

Only then does she release me, to find my hips and pull me closer.  I’ve read the books, though, and I know that even if she thinks she’s ready, it’s going to hurt.  I want her to be as ready as possible. 

I pull away from the kiss, when the thought that she’s a virgin rings inside my head.  “Can I just… one second…”  I run to the bathroom, to grab a towel.  I think the last thing we’ll want to do when we’re finished is strip the bed and make it again.

She’s rolling her eyes, and shaking her head when I return.  She clicks her tongue against the roof of her mouth as she reaches out to take it.  “You’re always thinking, aren’t you?”

I try to hide a smirk.  “I think you’ll be glad I did this later.”

“Whatever,” she mutters, as she positions herself in the center of the bed, with the towel under her. 

“Take the bra off,” I insist.  I mean, she’s always bossing me around.  “I want you to be naked when we do this.”  She sits up and makes quick work of it, before she tosses it at me.  I pull it to my face and sniff.  “Cherries.”

She chuckles.  At least she’s not nervous about what’s going to happen.  

I put my knees on the bed and practically crawl to her.  She smiles at me, dimples and eyes shining, and crooks her finger.  “I’m ready, Ben.”

I kiss her, and allow my big body to cover hers.  I wonder for a moment if she’ll be able to handle it, if she’ll scream or beg me to stop.  I don’t know if I’d be able to try again if that happens.  I slide down her body, kissing her neck, licking her nipples, finding all her sensitive spots.  I don’t linger, though.  I have a job to do.  I have to get her ready.

When I’m finally between her legs, I lick and suck like I’ve done before.  Her fingers twine in my hair, and tug.  She begins to moan and mutter, “Yes, Ben, there.”

But this time, I take one of my fingers and slide it inside her.  Her back bows off the bed, and her hands pull roughly. 

“Oh, fuck, Ben!” she groans.  I don’t stop to ask if she’s okay.  I know she’ll tell me if she isn’t.  I make sure my finger is pointing toward the ceiling, because apparently that’s where her g-spot is, and if I find it she’ll be the happiest girl in the world.  I slide it in and out, slowly.

“Ben, damn!” she exclaims.  Her legs begin to shake.  Maybe I found it.  I slide another finger in, and continue.  Her legs spread farther, and her hips begin to buck.  I don’t stop.  “Yes, Ben!”

I’m harder than I ever imagined I could be.  Now that I feel inside her, how tight and wet she is, I know I have to be there.  I know this is what our bodies were made for.  All the girls who made fun of me can kiss my ass.

“Fuck!” she exclaims, and I feel and taste her orgasm.  It’s time now. 

I slide up her body slowly.  I hook my palms under her thighs, to tip her hips up toward me.  I gaze into her eyes, and whisper, “I’m sorry if I hurt you.”  I feel her, the way I’ve felt her with my tongue and my fingers.  She’s so wet.  Her eyes grow wide, before they suddenly grow heavy, and close as her head tips back.

“Ben,” she moans, as I slide into her. 

“I love you,” I reply, as she takes it.  My lips find her neck, and I kiss her until she moans.  “I love you,” I continue to whisper, until I am all the way inside her.

We stay like that for several moments, until she wraps her legs around my waist and growls, “Yes, now.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben is a total Virgo. Very practical.  
> And Rey, she's just ready.  
> This isn't the last chapter, I promise. Tomorrow we'll get another - maybe two, depending.  
> I can't say thank you enough for all the kind words and kudos this story has received. It has really brought me out of a period where I was doubting myself as a writer. I actually enjoy writing again! Thanks everyone for that!  
> So, I'll see you all tomorrow! May the 4th be with you!


	48. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy May the Fourth everyone.
> 
> Our story is complete, but there will be an Epilogue, and I expect that to happen tomorrow.
> 
> Thanks again for sticking with me through the slow burn!

**Rey - Forty-Eight**

 

I thought it would tear me in two.  I know he’s huge, like really a lot bigger than average.  But it doesn’t hurt.  It might sting a little, and I felt the pop of my hymen.  Ben took his time and made sure I was ready for it, and allowed me to relax and stretch as he slid inside me.

Now, though, I want more.

“More,” I groan into his ear.  “More Ben, now.”

My hands roam over his back, feeling the silkiness of his skin over the firmness of muscle.  “Are you okay?” he mutters against my neck.

“Yes, I’m okay,” I assure him.  I wiggle my hips to try to encourage him, and I feel the head encounter that spot that his fingers found.  I begin to shiver at the pure pleasure pulsing through me.

He begins to rock his hips, stroking himself against the spot that might make me insane.  “Yes, Ben.”  My voice exudes bliss.  My body shakes with it.  “It’s so good, Ben.  Sooooo good.”

“Ummmm I love you, Rey,” he moans, before he moves to kiss me again.  His tongue slides in and out at the same pace of his cock inside me.  It’s slow, but urgent.  I’m so glad I waited, so glad I met him, so eternally grateful that he found me.  I don’t know if anyone else would care so much about my comfort, my satisfaction, the way he does. 

Everything is perfect with him.  This day, this night, this experience couldn’t possibly be better with anyone else.  It is Ben, and it will always be Ben.

I feel my muscles tighten, as his hips press harder and faster into me. 

I’m coming.  I’m coming because he cares enough to make sure I orgasm, even though it’s my first time and it’s supposed to _hurt_.  He wanted more for me, and he made sure it happened.

He pulls away from the kiss, and gazes into my eyes.  I see so much love and devotion in his staring back at me.  His hair falls against his beautiful face, and I see a sheen of sweat on his forehead.  His bottom lip trembles, and his shoulders shake.

“Are you ready?” he asks me.

I am ready for anything.  I am ready for the future, whatever it holds.  I am ready to be his.  I am ready to change the world with this man.  And when we’re ready to have children, they will be everything we aren’t, and everything we are.  I feel it all as I look into his emotional dark eyes. 

“I’m ready,” I tell him.  “I’m ready for you.”

“Mmmmmm,” he growls.  Then he throws his head back, and I can see by how his neck muscles are flexed he is still holding back.

I tip my hips up, move my hands down, and encourage him, “Let go, Ben.”  When my hands reach the small of his back, I feel his hips shove into me, and he thrusts even deeper.  I cry out as I feel all of him inside me.  It doesn’t hurt, I feel whole.  I feel full.  I feel like we really are one, joined together forever.

“Yes, yes, yes!” he cries out, as his entire body shakes above me.

My muscles begin to contract, and I feel the waves of orgasm start deep inside me, then crest and crash through my entire body.  My eyes are still open, and I’m watching as the waves flow through him too.

“Ahhhh!” he moans, as his head again falls forward to look at me.  “Fuck, that was incredible.”  He smiles after he says it, a smile that lights up his eyes as well as his entire face.  I see the dimple in his right cheek, and his white teeth that are only slightly crooked, and a glow I’ve never seen him have before.

My hands slide up his back, over his huge shoulders, to cup his beautiful face.  “Thank you for making my first time so amazing.”  I catch the glint of light off of the ring he placed on my left ring finger.  He told me it was his grandmother’s and promised to tell me the story of two star-crossed lovers who were Leia Organa Solo’s real parents.

He turns his head to kiss my palm.  Then he rolls off me, and pulls me over onto my side with him.  “You’re crying.  Did I hurt you?”  He reaches up and wipes the tear away with a soft swipe of his thumb.

I giggle, because I didn’t even realize it was happening.  “No, you didn’t hurt me.  It was just that good.  It was almost spiritual.”

“It was worth the wait.  You were worth waiting for,” he says to me, before he kisses the tip of my nose.  “I love you, Rey.”

“I love you Ben, no matter what happens.”  I watch his eyes close, and I feel his body relax.  I smile as I realize he’s going to sleep in my arms.  I fight sleep, wanting this perfect night to continue forever. 

Even though we don’t know what tomorrow might bring, I do know one thing.  I will be his for the rest of my life.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This IS the last chapter, although there may be an epilogue tomorrow or Sunday.  
> I can't say thank you enough for all the kind words and kudos this story has received. It has really brought me out of a period where I was doubting myself as a writer. I actually enjoy writing again! Thanks everyone for that!  
> May the 4th be with you!  
> And thank you, from the bottom of my heart!


	49. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a huge thank you to everyone who has read and commented on Auction.  
> I've been working on another project, and I don't feel that I can give both of them the time they deserve. But I assure you, I am in love with these characters and I will be writing follow up, probably longer than one shots. I mean... BunnyJonez has invested time in finding the perfect wedding gown, so I have to write the Ben and Rey wedding story! I will also dig a little more into the revelation of Palpatine being Snoke (gasp)! And of course, Rey's engine!  
> Thanks to BunnyJonez for all of her support. Her mood boards always make me smile and gasp at how amazing they are! I see a wedding mood board in our future, with wedding gowns and La Perla lingerie! Venue! (Think gorgeous house on the bay that's been in the Organa family for generations) And everything else that Ben would give to the woman he loves more than anything else!

**Epilogue - Rey**

 

Sentator Leia Organa was disqualified from sitting on the Senate panel currently questioning her son, Ben Solo.  So she and I sit right behind him, with Han sitting on Leia’s right, and Mitaka sitting on my left.  He didn’t have to be here, but I’m glad he is.  Finn, Rose, and Paige are sitting behind us.  Ben knows that he isn’t alone, that he has people who love and support him.

There is one other senator not seated on the panel questioning Ben.  Senator Sheev Palpatine also wasn’t present, as he is part of the investigation into the hacker group the _First Order_.  Apparently it turns out that Sheev was actually Snoke.  He used two other hackers, along with Hux, to enrich himself and find young vulnerable women to seduce and then discard.

I can’t believe how close I came to falling into his trap.  I am so glad Ben found me.

“I think you’ve provided some good information, Mr. Solo.  Your country thanks you for helping to take down this dangerous ring of hackers.” 

I’m surprised to hear Senator Binks, one of Senator Palpatine’s greatest proponents, finish up the questioning with this statement.  Senator Binks, like Ben’s mother, comes from a long line of salt of the earth people from the south who also happened to be great politicians.

The FBI and CIA, as well as the Secret Service, have investigated Ben’s story for the last three years, since he first went to one of his father’s friends, an FBI agent, two days after we became engaged.  They’ve found everything that Ben claimed to be true, that he thought his group of hackers were “white hat”, or hacking for a good cause.  They found that all the money he siphoned from human traffickers actually went to good causes.  And they found that Ben contributed a lot of his own money to those causes.

Ben didn’t get out of it unscathed.  He pleaded guilty to criminal mischief and was sentenced to probation. 

“And congratulations on the impending birth of your twins,” Senator Binks says, after he adjourns the panel.

Oh, did I forget to mention that Ben and I got married, and we’re expecting our first babies in a month?  I guess I’ll eventually have to tell that story, too.

Ben turns to me, and reaches for me.  He exhales, loudly, and I wrap my arms around his neck like I’m never ever letting go.  He can’t pick me up and hold me like he loves to do, not in my condition.

“I love you, Ben,” I assure him, as I have every day for the last three years.

“I love you, Rey,” he replies.  I step back, and allow his mother and father to embrace him as well.  Rose taps my shoulder, and asks, “How are you and the babies doing?”

“We’re good,” I assure her.  “In fact, everything is good.”  She hugs me close, or as close as she can with my stomach as big as it is.

Then, Ben slips his hand into mine, and I glance up at him.  We’re free now, to live the rest of our lives together.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again, everyone! I have read each and every comment, and they have definitely fueled my desire to write! Thank you to everyone who read and shared Auction, kudoed, and commented! It is appreciated.  
> This ISN'T the end. :)
> 
> Melissa

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoy this AU. If you do, please let me know. If you don't, let me know that too. I'm open to any and all suggestions!
> 
> find me on tumblr, sharing Reylo thoughts and BunnyJonez's mood boards at:
> 
> [the captain of the ship ao3](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/tcotsao3)


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